Thread by @camryneasley, learning about my attachment style + its negative affects on my life [...]

learning about my attachment style + its negative affects on my life has worked wonders for my self-esteem + changed the way i view/behave in relationships for the better. if u can’t afford one of mani’s classes about them, here is a mini lesson + thread of FREE resources

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="✨" title="Funken" aria-label="Emoji: Funken"> https://twitter.com/melanatedmomma/status/1318708319213690881">https://twitter.com/melanated...

https://twitter.com/melanatedmomma/status/1318708319213690881

first, you need to know what your attachment style is. there are four (4) options:
• secure
• anxious-preoccupied
• dismissive-avoidant
• disorganized/fearful-avoidant

here is a short, but accurate quiz that can help you identify yours: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/">https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachmen...

Attachment Style Quiz: Free & Fast Attachment Style Test

Free and quick (5 minutes) attachment style quiz to explore how childhood conditioning can cause you to struggle with adult relationships.

https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/

next, you need to understand what your attachment style means and how it affects your relationships. the @AttachmentProj explains here, and breaks it down by style on their website. https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/">https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four...

Attachment Styles & Their Role In Our Adult Relationships

Attachment theory identifies the four attachment styles as 1. Anxious (Preoccupied), 2. Disorganized (Fearful-Avoidant), 3. Avoidant (Dismissive) and 4. Secure.

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/

now u know ur style, how u developed it (spoiler alert: it’s about ur trauma + relationship with parents/caregivers) and how it affects ur behavior + approach to relationships. time to think about the rxships that you’re in/were in + how you/that person modeled ur attach style...

if u have a preoccupied, dismissive or disorganized style, u will start to realize... YOU are part of the problem. don’t freak out!

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🗣" title="Silhouette eines sprechenden Kopfes" aria-label="Emoji: Silhouette eines sprechenden Kopfes"> IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!

but now that u know better, it’s time to do better. these resources will help u heal yourself + heal ur insecure style:

7 WAYS TO CHANGE UR ATTACH STYLE:
• heal from shame/trauma + raise ur self esteem
• be assertive + set boundaries
• identify + express ur emotional needs
• be direct. no mind games/manipulation!
• resolve conflict from “we” POV
• practice unconditional love of self + others

if ur anxious-preoccupied (like me), healing ur codependency is the key to healing your relationships. these resources are a good way to start:
• https://risingwoman.com/healing-codependency-and-love-addiction/
•">https://risingwoman.com/healing-c... https://www.womanemerging.org/new-blog/women/counselor/franklintn/codependency/counseling/franklintn">https://www.womanemerging.org/new-blog/...
• https://victoriaalbina.com/healing-codependent-habits/">https://victoriaalbina.com/healing-c...

Healing from Patterns of Codependency and Love Addiction - Rising Woman

Love addiction (codependency) holds us in a pattern of trying to change or fix people as a way to prove our worth in the world. Many people resist the word “codependency” because it brings up...

https://risingwoman.com/healing-codependency-and-love-addiction/

i can’t speak much to the other styles since it’s not my experience, but here are some more resources!

all insecure styles:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201805/rewiring-your-avoidant-anxious-or-fearful-attachment-style%3famp

disorganized-fearful">https://www.google.com/amp/s/www...
• https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/disorganized-attachment">https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp...
• https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ending-anxious-avoidant-dance-part-2-built-in-path-to-healing-0518175
•">https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/endi... https://jessicalangtherapy.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/">https://jessicalangtherapy.com/blog/diso...

Rewiring Your Avoidant, Anxious, or Fearful Attachment Style

The best thing to do for your relationships is increase your connection to you.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201805/rewiring-your-avoidant-anxious-or-fearful-attachment-style%3famp

for healing dismissive-avoidant attachment style:
• https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/
•">https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoi... https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2017/03/avoidant-attachment-style-change/
•">https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect... https://youtu.be/cIVngXdoK7I ">https://youtu.be/cIVngXdoK...

Avoidant Attachment Style - Learn the Causes and Symptoms

Do you or someone you care about have an avoidant attachment style? Learn the underlying causes, symptoms and options for treatment.

https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/

takeaways + affirmations:
• changing ur rxship style breaks unhealthy patterns + raises self esteem
• forgive yourself for believing u deserve(d) to be treated the way u are/were
• u are not too difficult or too much. u are worthy of care, respect + security

never forget:

if this thread helped u, please RT to help someone else! if u want to continue unlearning + healing, meet me over at jupiter in pisces! we’re healing our inner children, loving ourselves + committing to being better people today than we were yesterday

https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💓" title="Schlagendes Herz" aria-label="Emoji: Schlagendes Herz"> http://patreon.com/jupiterinpisces ">https://patreon.com/jupiterin...

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