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learning about my attachment style + its negative affects on my life has worked wonders for my self-esteem + changed the way i view/behave in relationships for the better. if u can’t afford one of mani’s classes about them, here is a mini lesson + thread of FREE resources
https://twitter.com/melanatedmomma/status/1318708319213690881
https://twitter.com/melanatedmomma/status/1318708319213690881
first, you need to know what your attachment style is. there are four (4) options:
• secure
• anxious-preoccupied
• dismissive-avoidant
• disorganized/fearful-avoidant
here is a short, but accurate quiz that can help you identify yours: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
• secure
• anxious-preoccupied
• dismissive-avoidant
• disorganized/fearful-avoidant
here is a short, but accurate quiz that can help you identify yours: https://www.attachmentproject.com/attachment-style-quiz/
next, you need to understand what your attachment style means and how it affects your relationships. the @AttachmentProj explains here, and breaks it down by style on their website. https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/four-attachment-styles/
now u know ur style, how u developed it (spoiler alert: it’s about ur trauma + relationship with parents/caregivers) and how it affects ur behavior + approach to relationships. time to think about the rxships that you’re in/were in + how you/that person modeled ur attach style...
if u have a preoccupied, dismissive or disorganized style, u will start to realize... YOU are part of the problem. don’t freak out!
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!
but now that u know better, it’s time to do better. these resources will help u heal yourself + heal ur insecure style:
IT’S NOT YOUR FAULT!!!but now that u know better, it’s time to do better. these resources will help u heal yourself + heal ur insecure style:
7 WAYS TO CHANGE UR ATTACH STYLE:
• heal from shame/trauma + raise ur self esteem
• be assertive + set boundaries
• identify + express ur emotional needs
• be direct. no mind games/manipulation!
• resolve conflict from “we” POV
• practice unconditional love of self + others
• heal from shame/trauma + raise ur self esteem
• be assertive + set boundaries
• identify + express ur emotional needs
• be direct. no mind games/manipulation!
• resolve conflict from “we” POV
• practice unconditional love of self + others
if ur anxious-preoccupied (like me), healing ur codependency is the key to healing your relationships. these resources are a good way to start:
• https://risingwoman.com/healing-codependency-and-love-addiction/
• https://www.womanemerging.org/new-blog/women/counselor/franklintn/codependency/counseling/franklintn
• https://victoriaalbina.com/healing-codependent-habits/
• https://risingwoman.com/healing-codependency-and-love-addiction/
• https://www.womanemerging.org/new-blog/women/counselor/franklintn/codependency/counseling/franklintn
• https://victoriaalbina.com/healing-codependent-habits/
i can’t speak much to the other styles since it’s not my experience, but here are some more resources!
all insecure styles:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201805/rewiring-your-avoidant-anxious-or-fearful-attachment-style%3famp
disorganized-fearful
• https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/disorganized-attachment
• https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ending-anxious-avoidant-dance-part-2-built-in-path-to-healing-0518175
• https://jessicalangtherapy.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/
all insecure styles:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-freedom-change/201805/rewiring-your-avoidant-anxious-or-fearful-attachment-style%3famp
disorganized-fearful
• https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.mindbodygreen.com/articles/disorganized-attachment
• https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/ending-anxious-avoidant-dance-part-2-built-in-path-to-healing-0518175
• https://jessicalangtherapy.com/blog/disorganized-attachment/
for healing dismissive-avoidant attachment style:
• https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/
• https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2017/03/avoidant-attachment-style-change/
•
• https://www.attachmentproject.com/blog/avoidant-attachment-style/
• https://blogs.psychcentral.com/imperfect/2017/03/avoidant-attachment-style-change/
•
takeaways + affirmations:
• changing ur rxship style breaks unhealthy patterns + raises self esteem
• forgive yourself for believing u deserve(d) to be treated the way u are/were
• u are not too difficult or too much. u are worthy of care, respect + security
never forget:
• changing ur rxship style breaks unhealthy patterns + raises self esteem
• forgive yourself for believing u deserve(d) to be treated the way u are/were
• u are not too difficult or too much. u are worthy of care, respect + security
never forget:
if this thread helped u, please RT to help someone else! if u want to continue unlearning + healing, meet me over at jupiter in pisces! we’re healing our inner children, loving ourselves + committing to being better people today than we were yesterday 
http://patreon.com/jupiterinpisces
http://patreon.com/jupiterinpisces
