Do you feel betrayed by someone?

Look where you've betrayed yourself.

Do you feel rejected by someone?

Look where you reject yourself.

Do you feel hated by someone?

Look where you don't love yourself.

∞ THREAD ∞

The shift I am pointing to in these 3 examples

can be called "healing from within".

In this thread I aim to lay bare the value and mechanism of this,

because the ability to do so will empower you in a way that no compliment, praise or achievement ever can.

Our automatic response when someone hurts us, rejects us, betrays us

is to see the other as the person doing this

and ourselves as the person who is the subject or victim of this doing.

Seeing the situation in this way gives us a sense of relief

because now we can clearly point to the cause of the feeling

and we have a conductor for the tension inside of ourselves.

In the short term we have solved our uncomfortable feelings

and we might even feel a sense of confidence or certainty

because we feel like being the one who is right or in control.

However, this is a very short term solution...

...because in a week, a month or a year someone else does or says something

and that same feeling arises.

This shows us that the feelings of

- rejection
- betrayal
- being hated
- abandonment
- etc.

are still dwelling inside of us ready to be triggered again.

Let's instead take back the projection that points to the other person

and ask ourselves within:

"What is this experience showing me about myself?"

The answer to this question is sometimes immediately clear

but often it takes time for the insight to come.

As a result of asking this question

we don't have an immediate conductor for the tension inside of us.

Instead we become the container of our feelings.

In the beginning this might feel like you are weak

but that is only so because you don't get the fake confidence...

...of linking your internal experience to external causes in the form of accusing, blaming or pointing fingers.

Once you get used to containing your own feelings

you will grow stronger and stronger.

You're becoming independent of external causes

and own your experience.

In this process you will also discover that the feelings you now *experience* instead of *deny*,

will burn away something inside of you.

In that process space is made for insight to enter

because the feeling is allowed to be and unfold.

These insights are about the root of your feelings of rejection, betrayal, hurt etc.

Past moments, unconscious motives, unhealed wounds.

Eventually they are always about yourself

and owning this is the start of healing of those wounded roots.

Examples:

You discover that you abandoned yourself,

by staying in a relationship because you can't be alone with yourself.

You discover that you rejected yourself,

by repressing what you actually want to say in order to please.

Now you know the root of those feelings inside of you

rather than focusing on the triggers in the outside world.

Now you also know what to change or accept about yourself

rather than changing the external world.

Summary in 2 steps:

allow your own feelings: your attention is already the beginning healing.

insight comes up from within and your inner source guides you how to enforce the healing.

I must admit that "healing from within" isn't for the faint hearted.

You will experience intense feelings that are uncomfortable.

You will doubt yourself, feel weak and vulnerable,

but that is only because you don't take fake strength and confidence as a solution.

I guarantee you that if you take this process seriously:

your true confidence grows exponentially

your relationships will improve

you are more present

your addictions will fade away

you become your own soul mate

your life will feel wholeful (good and bad)