It's no secret I'm a survivor of male violence. Child molestation, multiple rapes including whilst married in my sleep, and once when I was pimped to a stranger in France.

I'm also the survivor of female abuse, both direct and indirect. The indirect abuse involved female nurses

I worked with harassing my husband at the time, also a nurse. They harassed him on the job, routinely bumped him out of his positions, invented stories of him drinking on the job. Ultimately the thing which ended it was a false accusation of patient abuse.

The hospital fired him without due process and the union did nothing and it took a year for the college of LPNs to clear his name. His career was destroyed and mine too.

We had just faced the loss of our youngest son in a devastating manner. Nursing was going to rebuild our lives. Instead velociraptors destroyed my fragile hope and happiness. And the domestic abuse began after he lost his livelihood and I mine.

The point of this story is that every so often I'm reminded of the most abusive people that have ever touched my life—female humans who took things from me b/c they hated that a man was in their turf.

The end of my story is that our marriage couldn't survive & he took his life.

He's dead. He hung himself in Jones Park from a soccer goal post 4 year ago Everything we worked we lost years before and we weren't together. I had begun my life over. And how about those female humans who abused him? I'll bet they're having a fabulous life.

Often I encounter female people who remind me of those women who abused my husband and me in these rooms. The sad thing is the abuse at the hands of females, not only the professional but also the personal in which females blamed me at the age of 10 for being molested, has

rendered me incapable of binding with, trusting, or feeling entirely safe around females humans.

The psychological component of the female abuse is very hard to overcome and I repeatedly encounter females toxicity and the velociraptors are always out.

Female humans underestimate their own capacity for abuse. Perhaps that's a strange sign of internalised inferiority, not realising the females capacity for mental cruelty.

Observe your own intentions. Everything is a response to something else.

The end of this seemingly pointless thread.

Not all female people.
Not all male people.

Thank you to everyone who is encouraging and compassionate.

The work is transformation. Trauma is an opportunity to transform because energy is only transformed and when that trauma is transformed it is my power.

Those who traumatise me give me their power. Like Harry Potter. That's the story of HP, transformation.

HP was powerful because Voldemort gave him some of his power in the attack.

How metaphorical is this?

@jk_rowling thank you.