Anyway, today’s been interesting/traumatic. I arrived at Bowes Museum at the allotted time and couldn’t believe my luck when I found a newly vacated parking space just near the door. I reversed into it. I thought I was sticking out a bit so I tried to drive forward. .......

....Nothing happened except the sound of spinning wheels. I tried to reverse. The same. I got out & discovered I’d crossed the little ditch thing at the side of the carriageway and cunningly parked on a muddy bank. Or rather, I’d parked three wheels & the fourth was in mid air.

I decided to go and have a look at the Pre-Raphaelite exhibition and then come back and see if things had magically improved. They hadn’t. I called the RAC. The man who eventually came said it would be almost impossible to park as badly as I had if I had been trying to do it.

...I thought this was probably true although slightly demoralising. Anyway, in the end the only way we could move the car was for him to spreadeagle himself across the bonnet in order to weigh the car down and put all the wheels in contact with the ground. I then had to ease....

...the car forward trying hard not to knock him off and run him over. It seemed a somewhat unorthodox approach to the problem but what do I know. Anyway it was touch and go as the car eventually lurched forward and a look of panic spread over the unmasked portion of his face.

I think he quite enjoyed it really.