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"The spark" at the beginning of the relationship is feminine, chaotic and exciting much like a woman's emotions.
The embers of a once exciting relationship, now secure, is masculine: stable and predictable.
Both are unsustainable, therefore you must combine them to become fire.
The embers of a once exciting relationship, now secure, is masculine: stable and predictable.
Both are unsustainable, therefore you must combine them to become fire.
Consider your relationship an actual fire.
Most of the time, you can sit around it and be warm and cozy, but when the flames grow dim you must throw wood into the fire to maintain its liveliness.
Throw too much, and it grows out of control. Too little, and it dies.
Most of the time, you can sit around it and be warm and cozy, but when the flames grow dim you must throw wood into the fire to maintain its liveliness.
Throw too much, and it grows out of control. Too little, and it dies.
A terrible truth about men and women: they are completely mismatched with each other when it involves their needs in a relationship.
In the beginning, men are romantics while women vet their potential partner ruthlessly.
This dynamic changes as their love grows older, however.
In the beginning, men are romantics while women vet their potential partner ruthlessly.
This dynamic changes as their love grows older, however.
Gentlemen, the standard you set at the beginning of your relationship is one that holds the entire way through. You may stop thinking of doing spontaneous things to make her happy, but she doesn't.
She will compare your current and past self the entire time.
She will compare your current and past self the entire time.
Men will slowly lean towards the side of comfort and security, and in their minds there's no reason they shouldn't.
It's far more comfortable to come home from work, sit on the couch, have your plate of dinner made, and have lazy sex before bedtime.
This mindset kills the fire.
It's far more comfortable to come home from work, sit on the couch, have your plate of dinner made, and have lazy sex before bedtime.
This mindset kills the fire.
If you're going to do this, you may as well just call it quits and choose to live a polygamous lifestyle.
Monogamous relationships require a lot of effort to maintain, and are quite possibly one of the hardest things to master.
Monogamous relationships require a lot of effort to maintain, and are quite possibly one of the hardest things to master.
Women will err on the side of security in the beginning, choosing a stable man, but this is due to all men fiercely competing for her attention.
Once the competition wears off, she is left desiring the intimacy that once was. If you don't supply it, she will look elsewhere.
Once the competition wears off, she is left desiring the intimacy that once was. If you don't supply it, she will look elsewhere.
Women initiate 69% of all divorces.
The three biggest reasons: Lovelessness, infidelity, and arguments.
Most of these happen when the fire dies down, and men don't see it coming because they are too busy seeing their situation through the rational eyes of a male.
The three biggest reasons: Lovelessness, infidelity, and arguments.
Most of these happen when the fire dies down, and men don't see it coming because they are too busy seeing their situation through the rational eyes of a male.
There is a solution to this, of course.
Step 1: Vet your partner carefully. Most women vet their men, but hardly any men do the same. You need someone who will support you.
Why would you throw wood into a fire that doesn't give you warmth?
Step 1: Vet your partner carefully. Most women vet their men, but hardly any men do the same. You need someone who will support you.
Why would you throw wood into a fire that doesn't give you warmth?
Step 2: Bring excitement
Stop doing the same thing every damn day. That includes your "dates". She doesn't want to go to Olive Garden every single weekend, no matter how great the breadsticks are.
Go ice skating, traveling, just bring some flowers home every once in a while.
Stop doing the same thing every damn day. That includes your "dates". She doesn't want to go to Olive Garden every single weekend, no matter how great the breadsticks are.
Go ice skating, traveling, just bring some flowers home every once in a while.
Step 3: Find the middle ground.
As you play with the fire, figure out where it burns the most reliably. You can't constantly throw wood in, so you must figure out what makes the both of you happiest.
This requires effort from both sides, but you're the man. Take charge.
As you play with the fire, figure out where it burns the most reliably. You can't constantly throw wood in, so you must figure out what makes the both of you happiest.
This requires effort from both sides, but you're the man. Take charge.
Life isn't fair for men, but we were made to conquer life regardless.
The same applies for relationships. The most important lesson I could give you is to take responsibility for everything, even if it isn't directly your fault.
You have the power to change anything. Godspeed.
The same applies for relationships. The most important lesson I could give you is to take responsibility for everything, even if it isn't directly your fault.
You have the power to change anything. Godspeed.
