suicide tw

im. very depressed right now. i barely slept last night cause i just kept tossing and turning, thinking about things. i dont want to be alive anymore. the world is a shambles, and so is my life. im not even remotely happy, i cant remember anything with any clarity,

its all just a sort of foggy recollection, if anything. people say it gets better, but i really dont see that happening. i cant do anything out of pure terror brought on by anxiety, and i really just hate my life. i dont know what genuine feelings are anymore. maybe i never did.

the funny thing is that im too afraid of pain to k word myself, so this thread will inevitably lead nowhere, i& #39;ll get over it, be not as depressed for a while, before i repeat the cycle like clockwork, with no way to escape it given that therapy cant help me because it cant fix

the current state of the world, which is partially responsible for my mental state. if you read this far, i appreciate it. im gonna go watch one piece, and pretend that i dont exist for another 24 hours