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Alright y'all, since it's spooky season, let me tell you the story of the time I had to walk through JBLM's pet cemetery at night.
Yes, JBLM has a fucking pet cemetery.
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Yes, JBLM has a fucking pet cemetery.
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Anyone who has been stationed at the home of America's Corps knows about Engineer bluff. Its a large, wooded ridge that runs along a side of the base. It has some good running trails, but its mostly fenced off to keep vehicles out. Its also a great place to find bears.
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Pretty far back along the bluff are some water towers. These towers, like all the other critical infrastructure, are surrounded by a fence with motion detectors. You mess with the fence, an alarm goes off, and the MP's get sent.
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So one quiet night I'm on patrol and we get an alarm call for the water towers. Normally the patrols check it out, but I was the only one with the keys to open the gates, so guess who gets to help out on this one.
I unlock the gates and we drive up into the woods.
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I unlock the gates and we drive up into the woods.
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Now, this area is already pretty creepy at night. Its the fucking woods, and there is no light up there. Just your headlights.
Now imagine as you are driving through the woods, your headlights pan across a small sign as you make the turn for the towers.
"Pet Cemetary"
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Now imagine as you are driving through the woods, your headlights pan across a small sign as you make the turn for the towers.
"Pet Cemetary"
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I have no idea who decided to start this thing but I know for a fact they befell some horrible death that looked like a freak accident because thats what happens when you start a fucking pet cemetery deep in the woods.
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The road ends, and me and the PFC get out of our cars. The towers are on the other side of the cemetery, up a hill. You have to go on foot.
Y'all, you don't know fear until you've stood in a pet cemetery at 0200, illuminated only by a flashlight.
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Y'all, you don't know fear until you've stood in a pet cemetery at 0200, illuminated only by a flashlight.
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It is dead fucking quiet up there. I mean DEAD quiet. The only sounds are our footsteps and the gear on our belts
Were about to cross the cemetery and my PFC looks over at me with that "we really gonna do this?" face.
Yes, because we're the morons who die first.
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Were about to cross the cemetery and my PFC looks over at me with that "we really gonna do this?" face.
Yes, because we're the morons who die first.
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We start walking through all the creepy, homemade, wooden headstones and I'm trying to play it cool because I'm the officer and you never show fear but I swear if a squirrel had so much as rustled some leaves I would've emptied my pistol at it.
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Because its the PNW there is moss growing on everything, our flashlights are casting weird shadows in the outlines of crosses onto the trees and my brain is just going "This is how I die."
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The creepiest part is that low hanging fog was everywhere and at this point I'm pretty sure I've left JBLM and walked into a Stephen King novel. Its taking all my self-discipline to not break into a dead sprint.
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We finally make it across and go up the hill to the towers. We circle the whole place and look for signs of what set off the alarm.
Nothing.
No idea what tripped the sensors. (Probably the monster luring us to our deaths.)
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Nothing.
No idea what tripped the sensors. (Probably the monster luring us to our deaths.)
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We head back down the hill and the whole time I'm telling myself that everything's fine and its nothing to be scared of but my heart is doing 2000 bpm and in that moment if you offered to let me skip the walk back but pepper spray me again, I would've considered the spray.
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We make it back down to the cemetery and start heading back to our cars when we hear the snap of a branch off to our left side.
Me and the PFC stop dead.
Fuck me, this is how it ends, isn't it.
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Me and the PFC stop dead.
Fuck me, this is how it ends, isn't it.
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We both pan our flashlights over the area the sound came from but nothing is moving. My other hand is on my gun, and my heart is about to beat out of my chest. I've been less scared when someone pointed a pistol my direction.
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After about 30 seconds of nothing, I just say "Let's go" and the PFC and I start walking again.
And thats when we hear it.
A low, angry growl comes out of the darkness to our left.
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And thats when we hear it.
A low, angry growl comes out of the darkness to our left.
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At this point I'm about 99% sure someone's dead dog clawed its way out of the dirt and has come to claim our souls.
My PFC just goes "oh fuck" and we both decide were not gonna die on this hill and haul ass back to our vehicles.
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My PFC just goes "oh fuck" and we both decide were not gonna die on this hill and haul ass back to our vehicles.
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I get in my car, slam it into reverse, and pull the only successful J-turn of my MP career to get down the road and off the stupid bluff.
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By the time I make it back to the station I've calmed down a bit. I head inside and bump into the desk sergeant.
"Find anything up there, Sir?"
"..............nope."
/end
"Find anything up there, Sir?"
"..............nope."
/end
