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an analyzing ramble about this scene [ specifically killua ]: a thread
MAJOR chimera ant arc spoilers below !
looking back on the scene , killua is definitely self doubting . again . he wonders what gon meant , and if he only wanted killua to help as “ a battle teammate” or if he wanted killua to help because killua is his friend . he cant decide which it was .
also , killua finally acknowledges gons recklessness and slight selfishness . but he doesnt mind cleaning up after him , and he never has . hes selfless , and will do anything to help gon . thats been showcased many times .
the beginning cut off but it was “ i know kite was your friend, and it wasnt my fight”... it has nothing to do with him and yet he still wants to help gon. he wants to ease his issues and do whatever he can to bring kite back. he KNOWS it has nothing to do with him deep down,
but he still wants to help gon . he feels like he has to “repay” gon for the gift of friendship ; that hes only useful to gon as a tool for battle . and i know its the non canon movie , but when killua thought he “betrayed” gon , he decided the only solution was to end his life.
he doesnt believe hes worthy of gon unless he can be of use . his selflessness is a humongous part of his character , and its a partial flaw of his as well . he puts gon above himself in all aspects . during the fight with the ortho siblings , killua
didnt even care that he was dying . he wasnt scared or upset , he just apologized to gon for not being enough help . he puts gon above himself , puts him in a “savior” like light .
i have a feeling this is why gon saying “it means nothing to you” hurt him so badly . gon obviously wasnt in the right mindset, and he likely assumed “killua isnt as mad as me ? he doesnt care”
and because gon said that , and because killua doesnt believe hes worthy if he cant be of use , he broke down in front of palm , yelling “i cant help him anymore” . gons words affected him so deeply that he broke down sobbing in front of someone who was supposed to kill him .
but nonetheless , he always stays by gons side . he’ll always come back , waiting in the background , to calm him down and keep him safe . he probably hates himself for not being able to in episode 131 .
also this thread went so off the rails but also the music ? used in the probably most iconic killugon scene , the “gon, you are light “. this ost is just used for killua gay monologuing lmao
also. people who say killua doesnt care about gon anymore after the election arc blows my mind . hes always going to have a special devotion to gon . anyways yeah goodnight idk what this thread is tbh
