Against my better judgement, I’m totally liquored up and watching this shit. #Debate2020

Fun note, Hulu Live means I’m delayed a couple minutes. I feel like I’m living in the past.

That didn’t take him long to say China. I think I lost that bet

The coronavirus is gone like I’m sober.

This is the longest fucking 2 minutes of my life

Someone get the man an accordion

I need an accordion. Drunk accordion playing would be fun

“He has this thing about living in a basement” wut?

“I take full responsibility, but it’s not my fault” this is my new life excuse.

Where are the jokes? I was told Trump was bringing jokes tonight. #Debates2020

I don’t know why I’m using a hashtag. I’m usually not that nerdy

Why do they where red and blue ties all the time? Is that just in case we don’t know who is who?

He just said depression and alcohol and I feel seen

I need to know what shade of base he wears. It’s beautiful. My grandma would love it.

They really should both be dressed in head to toe American flag.

Frankly I’m disappointed that Biden doesn’t have big giant blown up pics of Giuliani “tucking in his shirt”. I need a visual aide

Where can I buy Biden’s pillows and sheets?

HOLY SHIT is he talking about Joe’s family making money while he was vp???

How many drugs did they have to give him for him to be able to stand there quiet?

He’s such a whiny bitch

WITCH HUNT!!!

“I was a businessman doing business”
- the president of the United States

What does a businessman do who doesn’t do business?

I’m a business person who naps all day

“A very strong email” someone send me a very strong email

Malarkey!!

I’m basically drinking at every word. I hope I’m not the only one

Also, after that email, send me your missile. *wink, wink*

@ProtestCheese you’re on