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It looks like the #debate will happen, so this will be the livetweet thread. Mute or unfollow if you need to.
Please remember: I'm not a pundit. I'm an asshole. There are better people to follow for actual critical commentary and fact-checking.
Please remember: I'm not a pundit. I'm an asshole. There are better people to follow for actual critical commentary and fact-checking.
...can't believe this is happening ffs...
Five minutes. There are people on the stage. Rumor has it that Biden and Trump are in the building.
LET THE SHOUTY PLAGUETIMES BEGIN
Five minutes. There are people on the stage. Rumor has it that Biden and Trump are in the building.
LET THE SHOUTY PLAGUETIMES BEGIN
....let the shouty plaguetimes be suspiciously delayed
Here we go. Kristen Welker is moderating. She's a White House correspondent and has clashed with Trump in the past.
Biden comes out in a mask LIKE A FUCKING HERO.
No mask on Trump.
Biden comes out in a mask LIKE A FUCKING HERO.
No mask on Trump.
This debate will have muted mics for the first 2 minutes of the answer, and after that it's Last Tonsils Standing.
Moderator: Trump, people are dead. Like, fuckin' dead from Covid. What are you going to do about it in the future?
Trump: Covid is a puss. I kicked it in the puss. Lemme describe my past actions about the kicking of the puss. I, personally, had Covid and I beat it IN THE PUSS.
Trump: Covid is a puss. I kicked it in the puss. Lemme describe my past actions about the kicking of the puss. I, personally, had Covid and I beat it IN THE PUSS.
Moderator: Biden, same question.
Biden: I'll describe my plan but let's take 30 seconds to make note of the giant corpsepiles across the entire United States.
Biden: I'll describe my plan but let's take 30 seconds to make note of the giant corpsepiles across the entire United States.
Moderator: I'm gonna give the pharmaceutical companies a chance to pad their stocks.
Trump: Thank you.
Moderator: But none of those companies say their vaccines are ready.
Trump: Fuck.
Trump: Thank you.
Moderator: But none of those companies say their vaccines are ready.
Trump: Fuck.
I really like Welker. Calm, confident, prepared.
Biden is doing this lovely thing where he looks at the camera and shakes his head. Especially as Trump is now bringing up Biden's response to the pandemic (???)
Biden is doing this lovely thing where he looks at the camera and shakes his head. Especially as Trump is now bringing up Biden's response to the pandemic (???)
Someone grabbed Trump by his ears and shouted that this would be his very last chance to make a good impression. And he's been fairly calm and measured (comparatively) for the first 15 minutes.
That's starting to slip. Voice is rising, hands are waving. And the SNIFFING.
That's starting to slip. Voice is rising, hands are waving. And the SNIFFING.
Biden's cornering Trump on his "learn to live with it" comment, and noting that families can't ignore the missing people in their lives.
Uh-oh, Trump's doing that addled bird head-tilt thing again.
TRUMP IS USING HIS OWN SON AS A PROP IN HIS ARGUMENT TO OPEN THE SCHOOLS
My eye is twitching.
My eye is twitching.
Biden is doing "control Covid and the economy comes back" argument. Trump is doing the "fuck it, we all die sometime" argument.
Heheheheh Biden had been waiting on Trump to bring up "Red States/Blue States," and Biden jumped right on that as "This is the United States, and we need to recognize we are all in this together."
In terms of tactics, Trump looks like a weak jerk right now. Covid is his most vulnerable talking point but he can't let it go. He refuses to lose an argument and won't allow Biden to have the last word.
Moderator: We should move on to the next point.
Biden: Yes, okay.
Trump: AND ANOTHER THING, HILLARY CLINTON RAISED MONEY FROM WALL STREET
Moderator: Okay we're done let's talk about white supremacy.
Biden: Yes, okay.
Trump: AND ANOTHER THING, HILLARY CLINTON RAISED MONEY FROM WALL STREET
Moderator: Okay we're done let's talk about white supremacy.
Biden: Let's talk about Putin, Russia, and interference in the election.
Trump: "Joe got $3,500,000 from Russia"
Biden:
Trump: "Joe got $3,500,000 from Russia"
Biden:
Trump is carrying some talking points in his head, and he WILL SAY THEM.
Biden: I would like to see your tax returns. "What are you hiding?" [QUOTE]
Biden: I would like to see your tax returns. "What are you hiding?" [QUOTE]
hey guess what folks we will get to see Trump's tax returns soon! Very soon! As soon as his accountant says so!
Biden's hitting the tax angle harder than I've seen anyone do in debates before.
And Trump's weaponizing the Mueller Report. He's also saying that Biden has many different houses and properties.
...Trump is saying this. Trump.
And Trump's weaponizing the Mueller Report. He's also saying that Biden has many different houses and properties.
...Trump is saying this. Trump.
Trump's advisors: Biden clearly loves his son.
Trump: Do what now?
TA: Loves his son. You can use that.
T: ...loves his...
TA: Son. He'll get defensive if you attack him.
T: Wait. Go back to the part where you can love a son.
Trump: Do what now?
TA: Loves his son. You can use that.
T: ...loves his...
TA: Son. He'll get defensive if you attack him.
T: Wait. Go back to the part where you can love a son.
Look at this smug jerk drawing some dicks
I honestly don't understand how we're not at war with North Korea right now, so...yay?
Moderator: Let's talk about the ACA and health care.
Trump: I'm gonna run a shell game and talk about my own health care plan instead.
Biden: Do you have any details about that plan?
Trump: FUCK no.
Trump: I'm gonna run a shell game and talk about my own health care plan instead.
Biden: Do you have any details about that plan?
Trump: FUCK no.
INFRASTRUCTURE PLAN BUUUURN
BIDEN JUST SAID HEALTH CARE IS A RIGHT, NOT A PRIVILEGE!!!
Trump's gonna ride that socialism pony straight into the sunset.
Trump's gonna ride that socialism pony straight into the sunset.
Trump's getting shouty again.
BUT! He's hauling himself back. Not talking over the mic. Just doing that bird-head thing until he's allowed to shout again.
BUT! He's hauling himself back. Not talking over the mic. Just doing that bird-head thing until he's allowed to shout again.
WE'RE ENTERING THE POUTY SHOUTY-SHOUT TIMES AGAIN!
Seriously, the instant he can talk, Trump goes straight into SHOUT MODE, usually about the economy.
Seriously, the instant he can talk, Trump goes straight into SHOUT MODE, usually about the economy.
Trump: I can't get anything passed in the House.
Moderator: You're the president.
Trump: Shit.
Moderator: You're the president.
Trump: Shit.
Trump: The Heroes bill was for Democratic cities and allowing illegal immigrants to get lots of money.
Biden: ONCE AGAIN you represent AN ENTIRE COUNTRY you CLOWN
Biden: ONCE AGAIN you represent AN ENTIRE COUNTRY you CLOWN
Thirty minutes left.
Biden's got a vein sticking out on his right temple. Trump's hands are playing a game of charades apart from the rest of his body.
Biden's got a vein sticking out on his right temple. Trump's hands are playing a game of charades apart from the rest of his body.
$15 minimum wage conversation, y'all. This wouldn't have happened in past debates. Rub it on your skin.
Moderator: There are children separated from their parents. How will you reunite them?
Trump: We're trying very hard to reunite them! But also people keep asking me about human rights and I don't know what that means and @MerriamWebster doesn't like me.
Trump: We're trying very hard to reunite them! But also people keep asking me about human rights and I don't know what that means and @MerriamWebster doesn't like me.
Who had "murderers and rapists coming up from Mexico" at 10:08 in the pool?
Moderator: Let's talk about Black and brown people and how they navigate the problems of living in a society in which they may be intentionally or accidentally destroyed.
Biden: On it.
Trump:
Biden: On it.
Trump:
Moderator: Let me restate the question for Trump. Speak directly to the Black and brown communities. Please tell them you recognize the threats they face.
Trump: Attack Biden's character? ON IT
Moderator: No.
Trump: Attack Biden's character? ON IT
Moderator: No.
The Overton window is on full display here. Minimum wage, health care as a right, and now they're in a fight over which one of them was more progressive about law and order in Black and brown communities over the past few decades.
Wild.
Wild.
Biden: Our characters are on display here. We know who lies. We know who strives to be honest.
Trump: CORRUPTION YOU ARE SO CORRUPT let's talk about the laptop!
Moderator: ...we're not leaving this stage until you answer my questions about race.
Trump: CORRUPTION YOU ARE SO CORRUPT let's talk about the laptop!
Moderator: ...we're not leaving this stage until you answer my questions about race.
...they're fighting about whether Trump is or is not Abraham Lincoln.
Biden: "Oh, God." [QUOTE]
Biden: "Oh, God." [QUOTE]
Trump keeps saying Biden had eight years to get his policies done.
Biden really needs to say, "Yes, and? You're POTUS now."
Biden really needs to say, "Yes, and? You're POTUS now."
CLIMATE CHANGE QUESTION!!!
aaaand we've got Trump bullshitting so hard that Biden is cracking the fuck up.
aaaand we've got Trump bullshitting so hard that Biden is cracking the fuck up.
"...a moral obligation to deal with [climate change]" and I don't want to feel hope, don't make me feel hope, hope is the mind-killer...
Trump's now talking about how Biden wants to get rid of windows and I just want this to be over.
Not the debate. Just...all of...this.
Not the debate. Just...all of...this.
Trump just said "If you're a believer in carbon emissions" and my brain squirted out of my ears.
Biden is talking about cutting subsidies to oil and moving it over to solar and wind, with a "net-zero emissions" and will rejoin the Paris Accord.
Trump is grinning like he just won the debate, and told Texas, Pennsylvania, and Oklahoma to remember this.
Trump is grinning like he just won the debate, and told Texas, Pennsylvania, and Oklahoma to remember this.
Moderator: What will you say in your inauguration speech?
Biden: Let's talk about the future.
Moderator: Trump, same question.
Trump: IT'S FESTIVUS AGAIN, BITCHES!!!
Biden: Let's talk about the future.
Moderator: Trump, same question.
Trump: IT'S FESTIVUS AGAIN, BITCHES!!!
Dr. Biden's mask is the same sweet floral pattern as her dress, and I'm in love.
We're done, by the way. Go get some liquids in you that don't have an alcohol content.
