March 13th 2020. I was watching everything unfold ahead of the lockdown. We had a flight booked a week later. We watched the world close. Everyday I wake up and say what the hell have we done.

Everything was ripped from the kids. Family, friends, activities they loved. Everything. 7 months later only school has resumed. They are masked now all day and have more restrictions than prisoners. What the hell have we done?

They have seen one of their grandmothers twice in 7 months but dare not hug her. My Mom caved in the summer as she couldn’t take it anymore and hugged them hard. What the hell have we done?

A new normal has emerged but it lacks life. It’s cold, it’s lonely, it’s cruel as fuck. There is no empathy, no compassion and no love. We are seen as vectors of a disease. What the hell have we done?

I refuse to give up. My planner is frozen on March. A bookmark marks a time where life was full of connection and love. A time when kids were kids. A time where we gathered with family unconditionally. I refuse to give up on that.