I have inadvertently become a provider of GRIZZLY FACTS on the group chat. (Press 4 for GRIZZLY FACTS.)

GRIZZLY FACT: the scientific name for north american grizzly bears is Ursus ursus arctos horribilis, which in English translates to "Bear bear bear [in latin] awful"

GRIZZLY FACT: During peak feeding season, grizzlies can consume as much as 90 pounds of food a day. If you need a reference for some reason, that's about 360 quarter pounders.

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies have been known to open bear-proof canisters by standing on their hind legs, placing their front paws on the canister, and bouncing up and down until the top pops off. This has been compared to "watching a bear perform CPR."

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies, for whatever reason, really like to eat moths. Park rangers at Glacier National Park have seen them climb up to alpine altitudes and spend 14 hours a day just eating moths.

GRIZZLY FACT: At one point, a pair of grizzlies lived on the white house lawn. They were a gift from Zebulon Pike to his friend, Thomas Jefferson. Jefferson promptly regifted the bears to a zoo.

GRIZZLY FACT: Sprinting grizzlies have clocked in at up to 35 mph, making them faster than Usain Bolt

GRIZZLY FACT: They have mated with polar bears. The resulting offspring are called "grolar bears" or the less awful "pizzlies."

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies have been observed covering their own tracks to avoid hunters.

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies remember places where they found food, up to 10 years later. This is why it's a terrible idea to feed them.

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies have been known to eat their own kind. More commonly, though, they eat black bears, who are much smaller in stature.

RELATED GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies are opportunistic omnivores, so they'll eat just about anything.

DIGRESSION into BLACK BEAR FACT: Black bears are utter wusses and will almost universally flee at the sound or smell of approaching humans.

GRIZZLY FACT: during hyperphagia/preparing for hibernation, bears eat enough to gain up to 3 pounds of weight per day.

GRIZZLY FACT: That hump on a grizzly's shoulder blades? That's all muscle, baby.

GRIZZLY FACT pt 2: That muscle gives a grizzly its fabled striking ability. While it's a myth that a grizzly can take a man's head off with one swipe, it is true (& documented) that a grizzly can decapitate a moose with one hit, due to structural weakness in a moose's upper neck.

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies have been caught on video single-pawedly overturning rocks weighing as much as 675 pounds in search of food

GRIZZLY FACT: The bear on the California state flag is the California Grizzly bear (ursus arctos californicus), a distinct subspecies that has not been seen since 1924 and is presumed extinct.

RELATED GRIZZLY FACT: There have been attempts to re-introduce grizzlies into California, as well as de-extinction them by back-breeding and genetic engineering, as well as by cloning from preserved specimens

GRIZZLY FACT: There are two surviving subspecies of grizzly: the mainland grizzly, and the Kodiak. Kodiaks are much larger (regularly reaching 1300 pounds) and are, in fact, total bastards.

GRIZZLY FACT: Kodiaks are the second largest known subspecies of bear, after the polar bear, who are the world’s biggest bastards.

DIGRESSION to POLAR BEAR FACT: Polar bears are the only known mammal who, in the absence of injury, illness, or outside pressure on their food sources, will hunt and eat humans.

GRIZZLY FACT: If you're attacked by a black bear, you yell at it and make yourself appear bigger. If you're attacked by a grizzly, lay face-down on the ground, play dead, and grab the ground as hard as you can to prevent being flipped over.

RELATED GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies are fundamentally lazy and if they can't flip you over to get at your soft tasty parts, they'll probably walk away. Unless it's hyperphagia time, in which case your best bet is to make your peace with God.

GENERAL BEAR FACT: grizzlies (and black bears) come in all shades, and can often be confused for one another! The easiest way to distinguish a grizzly from a “blonde” black bear is to look for the presence or absence of the grizzly’s signature shoulder hump. https://twitter.com/neilturkewitz/status/1319399951600844802

FOLLOW UP GRIZZLY FACT: The idea that grizzlies can’t climb trees is a myth. Grizzlies can go straight vertical. Your best bet is to not retreat upward.

GRIZZLY FACT: Many national parks require hikers on certain trails to carry "bear spray," also known as grizzly deterrent. This is, in fact, industrial-strength mace. It will not stop the bear, but it will make the bear pause just long enough for you to run for your goddamn life.

RELATED GRIZZLY FACT: bear spray can and does blind humans. Don't be a dick (like one of my friends) and point it at your friends, or an idiot (like that same friend) and point it at your own eyes to peer at the nozzle mechanism.

GUEST CONTRIBUTOR @kwiens on BEAR FACTS https://twitter.com/kwiens/status/1319402611456442370

GRIZZLY FACT: No matter how much weight they gain, grizzlies do not develop diabetes. Researchers are studying their metabolism in hopes of finding treatments for human diabeetus.

GRIZZLY FACT: grizzlies do not poop for the entire duration of their hibernation.

GRIZZLY FACT: Grizzlies live about 30 years in the wild and around 40 in captivity, which means I've got about five years left before I must make my end-of-bear-life plans

GRIZZLY FACT: Cubs are born and nursed while the mother is hibernating. Move over, epidural.

GRIZZLY FACT: bears mate in the spring, but fertilized eggs do not implant until shortly before hibernation in the fall. The cubs are born in the den, wiggle their way to the nearest teat, and begin feeding.

GRIZZLY FACT: lactating brown bears produce milk with fat content as high as 25%. This puts it between the consistency of light cream (20%) and whipping cream (30%).

GRIZZLY FACT: once the cubs have passed their first growth stage (when they are, essentially, still premature) they will move up from the bottom two nipples and begin drinking out of the next set up. The mother can then “shut off” milk production in the bottom two.