Here are some things you should know about my daughter.

--Today is her fifth birthday

--She is getting two cakes because she can't have a party and because she's the best

--She is my favorite person

--She has been the life of the party since she arrived, and none of us can remember how we managed a single minute of life before she got here

--She still laughs exactly like this

--She will make you an offer you cannot refuse

--Once at school a boy pulled her hair and she responded by knocking him down, jumping on top of him, and hitting him with a plastic shovel until the teachers got there

--She got a fist bump from her father for this

--I would run you over if she told me to, without asking why

--For a few weeks, her best friend was a potato named Best Friend Potato. They liked to play around like this

--She makes the funniest faces and has since she was very tiny. Occasionally you might find her making funny faces by herself without even knowing anyone is watching

--She is a fashion icon

--Ok back to funny faces briefly, she will do this on your phone within 2.5 seconds

--Her dad loves watching her get bigger and stronger and smarter every day, but is secretly very scared of the day when he can't carry her around anymore

--I hope she always feels this safe and comfortable around me, and I'm so happy and proud to be her dad. I forgot the parallel structure of the thing I was doing. Oh well lol happy birthday Maya

CAKE 2