It’s too late for this year’s Booker shortlist but Pat Sharp has written a book in which he inserts himself into history, Forrest Gump-style

Pat Sharp and Diana

Pat Sharp and Oasis v Blur

Pat Sharp and Oasis v Blur: the finale

Pat Sharp and Gary Barlow and Mick Hucknall

(note to Gary and Mick’s lawyers: this did not actually happen)

I’ll leave you with the fact that Pat has devoted an entire chapter to an imaginary (I think) party at Noel Edmonds’ house