As happy as I am about Hetalia coming back, I'm also... worried. If this draws in new fans, especially during THIS CURRENT CLIMATE, I can only assume that "certain characters" might because poster boys for right wing extremists in a way that will make things Even Worse.

Oh yeah. You think I don't remember the cosplayers who did full on N*zi cosplay photoshoot at a holocaust memorial? Because I do. You think I don't remember some jackass Russia chasing my Latvia cosplay ass through a con while threatening my life? Because I do.

The reason why people don't proclaim themselves Hetalia fans isn't because it's an old cringy anime; it's because the fandom did racist, fascist, imperialist bullshit. Those who weren't in the fandom probably don't even realize the amount of terrible shit that happened.

Before Hetalia got popular (or an anime), it was mainly just a chill place for history lovers. We saw the flaws in the material and actually DISCUSSED the real history being satirized in the manga. We weren't blind sheep here for yaoi fun; we genuinely liked history.

Yes, that's right, anime and manga fans were having in depth discussions in the LiveJournal community about HISTORY. It wasn't just BL nonsense. For the most part, the main Hetalia communities at the start didn't even allow posting fanart/fanfics. Only history.

But like every tiny fandom, it eventually stopped being tiny. People started showing up because they saw the fanart and the BL content and wanted to know wtf was with all these sexy sexy men. And it stopped being serious discussions of history and became... that.

A lot of Hetalia fans kinda dispute when the explosion in popularity was, but it was around the time when the anime was announced. A lot of the crazy fandom shenanigans happened after the first anime season was announced.

The anime got a lot of attention because South Korea, as in the actual country, claimed Hetalia was basically an act of war against Korea because the Hetalia character of South Korea is racist. (Which the character absolutely is. There's no way to spin that positively.)

On top of that, this interest in the anime that South Korea deemed an act of war meant that other nations began wondering wtf this was and... At least Wy really likes their Hetalia character, I guess.

The thing is, a lot of people outside of Hetalia fandom thinks that people in Hetalia fandom were okay with how problematic Hetalia (as a series and a fandom) was, but that was not the case at all. I was an adult in the fandom and I got to see So Much.

For every cringy or questionable or straight up BAD thing that happened, there were a ton of people trying to educate the fandom on why doing x or y was bad. Sometimes the education worked; sometimes it didn't. All in all, it was complicated.

It's disingenuous to assume that Hetalians (as the fans are called) were all racist, fascist, imperialist shitheads. For a lot of Hetalians, it was their first time learning the truth about the glossed over history they found in history books.

However, we never deny that there was troubling behavior happening. Every Hetalian has a horror story of when they finally broke away from the fandom because something terrible or tragic happened, either to them or a friend or just in general.

I've told my Hetalia horror story before, but as a refresher: I was cosplaying Latvia at a con one year and I met up with a Russia. We took a few pics and I went on my way. The Russia cosplayer began to stalk me throughout the venue for a very long time.

I was going to meet up with some friends and I needed to unload stuff into my car, but this Russia was stalking me so instead I went to the hotel where I was going to meet my friends. Upon arrival at my destination, the Russia finally made a move.

The cosplayer brandished a pipe, and I still am unsure if it was real or fake. It looked real but I'm sure it had to be fake. The Russia cosplayer then said "I'll make you mine" and I RAN AWAY SCREAMING. I was chased for a little bit before security stopped them.

The Russia said we were playing in character, but I totally wasn't. I thought for sure this person was going to hit me. They were taller than me and clearly stronger than me and I was TERRIFIED. And that's when I decided that I was done with Hetalia.

But here's the thing when it comes to Hetalians and former Hetalians: We may hate Hetalia or even what we experienced as fans of Hetalia, but part of us still appreciates or even thinks fondly of that time. Which sounds ludicrous after what I just said.

It's extremely difficult to explain why this is. It's like we all collectively survived the same trauma and lived to tell the tale. We made good friends in there. We had a great time and learned stuff. WE LEARNED ABOUT HISTORY AND HAD FUN TOGETHER.

We talked deeply and intimately about the nuance of history, about the complicated roles each country played in how history has played out, and we valued those lessons even after dumping Hetalia from our lives. It's bittersweet.

That's why we kinda get tired when someone says "Oh, you like Hetalia? Don't you know it's imperialist propaganda?" OF COURSE WE KNOW. WE, OF ALL PEOPLE, KNOW ALL TOO WELL. Every bad thing you can bring up is something we know. We discussed it as a fandom.

We know every terrible, shitty, awful thing that happened because it touched us in some way. Whether it's dumbass Germany and Prussia cosplayers, or idiot Japan and Italy cosplayers, or violent Russia cosplayers, or France cosplayers who WON'T STOP TOUCHING ME.

We know. We fucking know. We know Hetalia is bad. We know every bad thing about Hetalia. Most of us learned from our mistakes. That's why we look back on it with mixed feelings. It was both a wonderful and horrendous time in our lives. Whatever you think, we know.

And that's why I'm so goddamn scared about new fans. They haven't had a decade to contextualize their experience in a fandom as problematic as Hetalia. I'm terrified because we'll have new faces of fascism to deal with, and they'll be moe anthropomorphic anime countries.