Earnest self reflection for a moment - I must admit I get a spiteful pleasure from the thought that I'm in many ways what this sort of person dislikes (e.g. black who did good-but-never-even-near-great on standardised testing as a kid yet conventionally succeeding in academia)... https://twitter.com/lastpositivist/status/1319196097429069826

... I think it doesn't really speak well for me. For one thing it is pure impishness, I don't think it will in any way turn to the good, it's just a pleasure in piquing people. For another I think that in particular what I am enjoying is actually a sense of being disliked...

... so it causes others suffering and feeds into my self-loathing tendencies which are ultimately narcissistic and vain. Should work on this. Succeeding without intellect is nothing to be proud of, whether or not it annoys those who in my worst moments I think of as enemies.