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Late last night my wife and I got talking about the exploitation of empathy in professions dominated by women and compared her experience in a very male dominated world (military) to mine in a very female dominated world (education).
The conversation was...interesting.
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The conversation was...interesting.
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I was able to recall her happy hours at 2 PM on Fridays with her squadron, the games of golf (she hates golf), her refusal to do petty tasks and her superiors accepting it, and her strict boundaries she set for herself that were (mostly) adhered to by her administration.
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She was able to recall the âdo anything for the kidsâ propaganda mantra that I refused to adhere to, the after school clubs thatâwhen all was said and doneâended up being the equivalent to $1/hr in compensation, and the many events we were expected to attend for âsupport.â 3/
The contrast on even the surface level was astounding.
She deals with her share of nonsense (see below) but she feels as though she has never been exploited by way empathy to do something she didnât want to do, like stay late or pick up the slack for somebody else. 4/ https://twitter.com/victoriathetech/status/1316463926570176512">https://twitter.com/victoriat...
She deals with her share of nonsense (see below) but she feels as though she has never been exploited by way empathy to do something she didnât want to do, like stay late or pick up the slack for somebody else. 4/ https://twitter.com/victoriathetech/status/1316463926570176512">https://twitter.com/victoriat...
However, I felt (past tense) that when I was in the classroom my empathy was CONSTANTLY trying to be exploited by my colleagues, many of them being well-meaning white women who would gladly pay $2000 a year out of pocket for extra school supplies for students âjust in case.â 5/
Many well-meaning white women who would question why I didnât attend the first JV football game of the season.
Many well-meaning white women who would glare at me as I locked my classroom door to leave for the day at 3:45, knowing most of them would stay until 6 PM or later. 6/
Many well-meaning white women who would glare at me as I locked my classroom door to leave for the day at 3:45, knowing most of them would stay until 6 PM or later. 6/
I got even more riled up when I thought about how this plays out at the admin level.
I *specifically* remember being told by my first principal that teaching is a âcalling,â not a career, which...ugh.
Does this excuse of a âcallingâ explain why I got paid 36K my first year? 7/
I *specifically* remember being told by my first principal that teaching is a âcalling,â not a career, which...ugh.
Does this excuse of a âcallingâ explain why I got paid 36K my first year? 7/
Itâs that exploitation of empathy: my first year of teaching I didnât realize the salary was abysmally low even for a single woman because this âcallingâ felt great.
A colleague recently left that school with 33 years in and a masters. She topped out at 58K. What?! 8/
A colleague recently left that school with 33 years in and a masters. She topped out at 58K. What?! 8/
I am asking you: in what other profession would you be working with 33 years and a masters degree and make just 58K per year and be okay with it?!?!
Exploitation of empathy makes people believe that this is an acceptable amount of pay for 33 years of service and time. 9/
Exploitation of empathy makes people believe that this is an acceptable amount of pay for 33 years of service and time. 9/
Exploitation of empathy is toxic and runs rampant in education.
Under no circumstance should a teacher shame another for wanting to get home to their family by a reasonable hour, or be tasked with taking on minimal or zero pay for after school activities âfor the kids.â 10/
Under no circumstance should a teacher shame another for wanting to get home to their family by a reasonable hour, or be tasked with taking on minimal or zero pay for after school activities âfor the kids.â 10/
No shade to those who are still in the classroom or in education at all. Yâall know Iâm still here, just in a different role.
But I want to ask...are we okay? Are we taking care of ourselves? Are we making sure that our empathy isnât being exploited, especially now? 11/
But I want to ask...are we okay? Are we taking care of ourselves? Are we making sure that our empathy isnât being exploited, especially now? 11/
I donât know where Iâm going with this but I left the conversation really disappointed. Kourt picked up on it and asked me if I needed anything.
What I need is for the profession of education to stop exploiting teacher empathy under the guise of caring about students. 12/
What I need is for the profession of education to stop exploiting teacher empathy under the guise of caring about students. 12/
...I also needed a glass of wine, which she gladly got for me. 13/13
