Read on Twitter
I’m Back from Facebook Jail, and ready to start fighting the racists again. https://journeyamerica.wordpress.com/2020/10/22/im-back-from-facebook-jail-2-minute-read/
…now I’m looking for the idiot who reported me.
I’m out of Facebook jail and ready to start fighting the racists again.
I’ve been cooling my heels in the tank for four-weeks, all because some Trump supporter didn’t like my idea of putting them in my new book, “Trump Supporters’ Wall of Shame”. I was merely trying to be nice and helpful by assisting them as they spread their ignorance.
This female Marine reported me after i got in fights with her because she thinks abortion and homosexuality are abominations and Muslims shouldn’t be allowed to be in politics. Every time I saw her on Facebook, I needed to take a breather.
Anyway, she got her panties in a bunch, turned me into the Facebook police and away I went.
After a brief trial in a Kangaroo court which would make any Banana Republic Regime proud, I was handcuffed and shipped off to Zuckerberg prison where political malcontents go to idle away their time.
I wasn’t alone.
I wasn’t alone.
I met a guy in Facebook jail for telling a friend on FB he’d love to shoot his family. He's a photographer and got reported. See? I told you Trump supporters are not Mensa candidates.
After 48-hours in the virtual Big House, I grew bored with raking my virtual tin cup across the virtual bars and singing in my best baritone, “Nobody’s seen the trouble I seen…”.
“I haven't used my Facebook jail alter-ego since August of 2019. When I logged on this morning, I discovered a bunch of year-old friend requests. Oops.” –
But I wasn’t idle for too long.
But I wasn’t idle for too long.
After just a few days of eating bologna sandwiches and washing the desert dry pieces down with blue-colored bug-juice, I hooked up with some Russian friends and together we surfed the deep underbelly of the Internet.
Did you know that the Internet you see when you turn on your laptop is only about 4% of the entire Internet? Yeah. It’s true. Ninety-six percent of the web is accessible through Tor where you can dive into the Onion network and poke around where the shy don’t travel.
Dark web statistics ( https://techjury.net/blog/how-much-of-the-internet-is-the-dark-web/) in 2020 tell us that this area of the web accounts for around 48% of the internet. It's believed the deep web occupies a similar amount as well. This means that the deep web and dark web take up around 96 % of the internet in total.
After speaking with drug dealers in Kazakhstan, passport forgers in Pakistan and degree-mill operators in Denmark, my friends introduced me to the inner workings of Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter and other social media.
After a few days in the tunnels, we ran into a guy who goes by the name, Rogue White House Staffer on Twitter. He gave me an advance copy of part of Obama’s Philadelphia speech. After the election, I’m sending my copy to ‘Beijing Barry’ to autograph.
Linked In & Twitter
There isn’t a big difference between Trump-supporters dwelling on LinkedIn compared to those who hang out on Facebook. Both possess the same political ignorance, but those on LinkedIn are paid better, and live in a better class of trailer park.
Remember, an idiot who makes several hundred thousand a year is just as bad as Mickey, at Mickey’s Tree Service in Georgia, where he makes a few thousand a year and spends Friday nights drinking beer, talking dirty and burping.
Twitter can be a good, modern example of Captain Kangaroo after a hard day doing nose candy as he hooks up with Bunny Rabbit, talks to Grandfather Clock and gets his lights punched out by Mr. Green Jeans, the father of musician Frank Zappa ( https://www.amazon.com/Pocket-Idiots-Guide-Useless-Facts/dp/1592575676).
“It’s a bloody free for all,” as the British would say.
I was threatened with LinkedIn jail for calling the folks aiming guns at Black Lives matter from their front lawns, "white trash", ironically on the same day the Proud Boys were organizing their Portland rally on FB, at which two people were killed.
What Else I Did With My Time
What Else I Did With My Time
Despite being on lockdown, I got a lot done. Two of my short stories were picked up by a publisher for inclusion in upcoming anthologies, Ale and I celebrated 8-years of marriage and we got the plane tickets to America.
So when April comes around we’re heading to New York to meet with a couple agents and show Ale parts of the “Big Apple”. No, not that one, you pervert. The city.
Ready for a good ghost story?
Ready for a good ghost story?
Maybe the best collection of Christmas stories you've ever read.
The only difference between Trump supporters on LinkedIn and those on Facebook? The ones on LinkedIn have already taken the wheels from their house.
The Takeaway
The Takeaway
Once Trump hopefully loses in a couple of weeks - Cult45 will all whimper and crawl back to their wife beater homesteads and leave average smart people alone again. But damn, this month of Facebook jail flew! I’m back in that bitch.
I think I’ll add Facebook Jail to my resume.
I think I’ll add Facebook Jail to my resume.
Header Image by Michael Jasmund on Unsplash
Jerry Nelson ( https://www.nyccriminallawyer.com/jerry-nelson/ ) is an American writer living the expat life in Argentina.
You can find him at any of hundreds of sidewalk cafes and hire him through Fiverr ( https://fiverr.com/jandrewnelson ), join the quarter-million who follow him on Twitter ( https://twitter.com/journey_america )or contact him at [email protected]
This thread can be read here: https://journeyamerica.wordpress.com/2020/10/22/im-back-from-facebook-jail-2-minute-read/
