October is #ADHDAwarenessMonth in the US but let me use this opportunity to do a tiny thread on living with ADHD. I was an obedient child and I was above average smart. All of primary school and most of high school, I did well at school.

But at home, things were a little different. Although I had an amenable temperament, I was very very very untidy and disorganized. I couldn’t do simple things without getting into trouble - making my bed, putting clothes in the laundry, keeping a neat closet. I just couldn’t.

My school report card always said - Zama is a diligent, well-behaved child but her school work is disorganized and her performance is inconsistent. Still I did well enough to get into a BSc in both UCT and Wits. I chose Wits.

It wasn’t until university when I realized I didn’t have a normal brain. Without the structure provided by school and home, I just couldn’t sit my bum down to work. I wanted to, was desperate to, but everything was done last minute.

It caught up with me in my second year. But because I hated geology, my symptoms were missed. I went on to do a BCom at UJ, struggling and moving between semesters with all distinctions and others where I barely passed.

Fast forward through my early career and the first time I get a roper diagnosis is 6 years into management consulting. I got meds but I believed in this idea of addiction and so barely took them. Bad mistake, but research on female ADHD became more accessible so I learnt:

1. There is no cure. It’s not temporary, it’s your brain and you must live with it. Medication works and will be part of your life. ADHD meds are not addictive, and they are very effective. And they are expensive. But they are now part of my life.

2. All the lifestyle changes help but they don’t replace medication for most of us. Exercise, add Omega 3s in your diet, but don’t dump your treatment because your friends and family think it’s not healthy to live on meds.

3. ADHD presents in ways that can be alienating to women who are expected to take care of homes, be organized and tidy etc. Not meeting society’s expectations can lead to depression whose symptoms are similar. That’s how it gets missed even in adults. See an ADHD specialist.

4. ADHD is a disorder. It’s a disability of your brains executive functions. It’s structural, impairs 4 functional regions in your brain. This causes inter-brain communication malfunction, issues with attention, organisation, long-term planning, time management etc.

5. Because of #4, talented people living with ADHD will often find themselves setting limits on their career progression because of the fear of not having a good enough brain to meet high expectations. This is one of the tragedies of not getting a correct diagnosis.

So if you can identify with this thread, try to see an ADHD specialist to at least eliminate it as a possible disorder and to support you if you have it. Your life will be a lot better and more manageable for it.