i’m sorry but thunder is jewish, lightning is muslim, and the rain is christian

cats are muslim, they are also jewish, and they are also christian. this is because cats can be any religion they choose, even though they’re born muslim

rabbits are coptic christians and that’s because we love them so much

goats, on the other hand, are atheists whereas sheep are agnostic (sheep aren’t smart enough to conceptualize a belief or disbelief in god)

i feel like it’s not controversial to remind everyone either that ducks (if they were real) would be jewish, whereas swans are buddhist, HOWEVER chicken kind of defy this whole religious system and that’s pretty cool but it’s because i hate chickens

okay i’m going to bed please don’t let me wake up to “it’s reallllyyy problematic you said animals were religious because animals and religion aren’t your play thing ” they actually are because I Am God