How To Survive Boochie Retrograde Without Really Trying [a thread]

So, we all know about retrograde but we seldom discuss the niceties of boochie retrograde. I’d like unpack this astrological mystery so we can navigate this tight and trying time with care.

In short, boochie retrograde (Rx) is an astronomical phenomenon in which the wandering stars put that thing down, flip it, and reverse it from our vantage point on earth.

They’re not actually moving backwards. It just looks like they are. When this happens, their peachy significations come under review. It’s advised that you tread cautiously when this happens because, in a sense, the water may not come out clear.

So, what’s retrograding at the moment? Well, Mercury in meddling Scorpio and Mars in catch-these-hands Aries. Let’s explore their significations to better understand how we must be cautious.

Mercury (the Twinkling Bottom) signifies writing, the body count, traveling for hookups, bottom support groups, unsolicited hole pics, late night booty calls, vers bottoms, OnlyFans, sex playlists, and the throat.

At the moment, Mercury is wildin’ through Scorpio which is Mars’ nocturnal, domicile rulership. Here, Mercury’s a focused, driven, unyielding bottom looking to uncover emotional truths in order to restore and recover on behalf of the Sun. It’s like sonar, but for bottoms.

They may not have the language to thoroughly articulate what they’ve sensed or picked up, but they’re aware of its width, length, weight, etc. and they ask us to call attention to whatever it is that’s below the water surface.

Mars (the Fiery Bottom) signifies moans, dildos, screams, pegging, groans, hopeless situations, tooting and booting, fissures, hernias, kinks, warming lube, power bottoms, fisting, Crisco oil, altercations between bottoms, ashy dick, and trash ass men.

At present, Mars is backpedaling through his diurnal, domicile and I’m somewhat uneasy about that. Here, the Fiery Bottom swings between war crimes and heroic deeds with unsettling ease. Fire is the element of imagination and Mars is an action-oriented bottom.

While in Aries, Mars is sitting in his musty, crusty bedsheets and there are whizzing dildos, nipple clamps, blindfolds, handcuffs, anal beads, butt plugs, and you. He’s screaming ‘I see it, I like it, I want it, I got it’ and we must be cautious.

Side note, Mars just needs our constant attention. When his thangs are thanging, they are thanging for the Sun. That’s another thread...

So, normally, I’d be rejoicing because they’re both in aversion but it’s Mercury using Mars’ boochie busting resources to bring about twinkling bitty bottom things. Proceed with caution, bbs.

Now, in addition to all the Wet Ass Bussy backing it up and fucking us heauxs, Mercury is opposing Uranus in Taurus while Mars is being blindsided by the choke-me-daddy square from everybody in Capricorn.

Where’s are saving grace admits the astrological orgy from hell? Honestly, I’m looking toward Venus.

Venus (the Light Bringing Bottom) is where & how we find value, worth, and meaning that connects our heart, body, mind, and soul to a myriad of wonderful things. She’s the crown of gold and glory seated upon our heads. She’s companionship, strength, & the water coming out clear

She’s laughter, the throat, and the both giving and receiving. If anyone can save us, it’s her even if she’s in fall.

Now, fall means that she’s not giving much to work with. Douche with a water bottle? Venus in Virgo. Shit on the bed so you masturbate on the floor? Also, Venus in Virgo. She’s not stranger to a boochie in crisis nor is she a stranger to salvaging the trip.

Yes, she’s making a sextile but that sextile is her greatest asset. You want the blessing? Till the earth and work. Jump through the necessary hoops in order to find that value you need to keep yourself steady. The solution, or Fleet in this case, may present itself in a detail.

Wherever the Evening Star is, lean into what you’re taking in and then start to build. I think you’ll find the meaning and love and value you need because it came out of the crisis and the panic. I’m not glorifying trauma or mistreatment.

I am, however, glorifying the reality of earth. It wants to sit and be a home and be structure, but when it’s prodded or poked or nudged, it manifests something so unbelievably powerful. In this case, a vibrating plug with Bluetooth capabilities.

So, lean into Venus as she moves into Libra. That’s the tweet.