"hello, I'm a late 2000s/early 2010s comedic reviewer?"

"ah, here's your sample of 'Forklift' from MST3K and a fake gun"

"awesome! I've got an unfunny, overlong sketch section of this video to film!"

"we've also got this magic clip machine? it plays clips of recognizable pop culture touchstones"

"so like if I mentioned Camelot...?"

-it's only a model-

"perfect!"

"now will you be reviewing Birdemic or The Room?"

"couldn't I just play the most recognizable clips and overreact to them?"

"of course, what did you think 'review' meant sir?"

"ah, silly of me, both it is then! and I'll take Battlefield Earth too"

"might the gentlemen be interested in some forced catchphrases?"

"the kind that could be painful memes & go on T-shirts?"

"of course sir, the nerd shirt economy will never crash, Think Geek is forever"

"Fuckity Shit Balls!! (trademark)"

"alright, now let's talk costumes, I'm assuming you'll be playing multiple characters interacting with each other all edited on iMovie"

"you know me well"

"perfect, I have a hat & trench coat and an obvious wig"

"Dark Reviewer Saga is a go!"

"you know, I was thinking, once I get popular filming my overdone responses to mediocre movies & TV shows I could actually make my OWN movies & TV shows?"

"oh absolutely sir, would they also be mediocre?"

"Hell no- they'd be shitty and remarkably self-indulgent & tired"