Today is the 3rd-ever International @PronounsDay! I'm so excited & I want you to be excited, too. Here are a few things to know about pronouns:

1. Many #trans people including me HAVE to out ourselves if we want others to gender us correctly (cont)

#PronounsDay

YOU CAN HELP normalize introducing yourself with your pronouns by doing a couple of REALLY simple things:

- Edit your @Twitter & FB bio, email signature, name tag at work, and anything else you can think of to include your #pronouns, whether you're #trans or cis.

#PronounsDay

- ALWAYS introduce yourself with your name AND pronouns, eg: "I'm Danielle & my pronouns are she/her."

2. Understand that correct pronouns are NOT optional or a preference. In some jurisdictions, it's against sex-based discrimination laws to misgender someone.

#PronounsDay

- NEVER say "preferred pronouns." It's not a preference. My pronouns are she/her; anything else is inaccurate.

3. IF YOU MAKE A MISTAKE, do EXACTLY this and ONLY this:

- "I was telling him—sorry, her—that she might consider asking a librarian for help" etc.

#PronounsDay

DO NOT make a big deal out of apologizing. Do not even pause. Just correct it and move on. Seriously, it's truly that simple.

4. If you don't know someone's pronouns, ASK. Here is how you ask someone's pronouns:

"Hey, what pronouns do you use?"
"She/her."
"Thanks"

#PronounsDay

5. Don't argue with someone about their pronouns—even if those pronouns are unfamiliar to you. That's for YOU to work on, on your own time.

DO NOT ask follow-up ?s. Someone giving their pronouns is NOT an invite for a free on-demand private lesson ab trans issues.

#PronounsDay

6. If you don't know someone's pronouns, NEVER MAKE ASSUMPTIONS! If you don't know the correct ones, DEFAULT TO "THEY/THEM" or simply don't use any.

- "Someone left their sunglasses."
- "See that person over there? The person with the crop top & long red hair."

#PronounsDay

7. If you don't know someone's pronouns, DO NOT use honorifics like "sir" "ma'am." Yes—even in the South!

If you're accustomed to calling elders, customers etc "sir/ma'am" it may feel impolite at first. But misgendering is MUCH WORSE. Just leave it off instead.

#PronounsDay

8. Some people try out several pronouns to find the right ones for them. Others, for example genderfluid people, have more than 1 set of pronouns they use, or even change which pronouns are right for them from day to day or even throughout the day.

#PronounsDay

DON'T ARGUE. If someone tells you different pronouns 1 day to the next, just say "OK" & switch.

9. Understand that using "obvious" pronouns is a form of #privilege. Trans people are misgendered CONSTANTLY—it hurts to get called "sir," as a trans woman, when checking out...

…at the grocery store, yes. It hurts a lot more to get called "sir" at a job interview. There's a reason #trans women according to data on the subject experience a 1/3 drop in income after coming out—& of course, coming out & transitioning involves huge expenses, on top of that.

Life is already hard for trans people. Using the correct pronouns is free. YOU can make a difference.

Speaking of privilege—

If you liked this post, & you want to help support my work as a full-time activist, writer, and public speaker, one way you can help is by…

using some of your privilege to support me in doing this work! You can make a monthly pledge here. My avg pledge is just $5/month & I depend on your support to do my job! Thank you:

http://www.patreon.com/daniellemuscato 

#PronounsDay

However you celebrate today, I hope this has been educational for you. I will now host an #AskMeAnything #AMA about #trans/ #LGBTQ issues, #pronouns #PronounsDay, my history as a #trans woman or anything else

- Danielle Muscato, she/her
Civil-rights activist, public speaker