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Transformer Generation 2 is just G1 Transformers but Optimus Prime's Trailer is FULL OF COCAINE NOW and he's SHARING WITH EVERYONE!
It's 5 AM in Autobot City.
Optimus: FUCK.
Megatron: What?
Optimus: When'd you get so swole?
Megatron: BRO. WE GOTTA WORK OUT TOGETHER.
Optimus: FUCCCCK.
Megs: WHAT?!
Optimus: WE'RE OUT OF COKE.
Sideswipe, who everyone thought was passed out on the couch: I KNOW A GUY!
Optimus: FUCK.
Megatron: What?
Optimus: When'd you get so swole?
Megatron: BRO. WE GOTTA WORK OUT TOGETHER.
Optimus: FUCCCCK.
Megs: WHAT?!
Optimus: WE'RE OUT OF COKE.
Sideswipe, who everyone thought was passed out on the couch: I KNOW A GUY!
Motormaster: WHOA. I LOVE THE NEW COLORS.
Breakdown: I KNOW RIGHT.
Wildrider: WE MATCH!
Deadend: You don't.
Motormaster: Drag Strip. Why you wearing black, bro?! You going to a funeral?!
Drag Strip: I'm going through some BIG LIFE SHIT okay. Also don't call me bro.
MM:
Breakdown: I KNOW RIGHT.
Wildrider: WE MATCH!
Deadend: You don't.
Motormaster: Drag Strip. Why you wearing black, bro?! You going to a funeral?!
Drag Strip: I'm going through some BIG LIFE SHIT okay. Also don't call me bro.
MM:
Deadend: Should we really all be yelling at each other while we're trying to rob this Circuit City?
Breakdown: OMG. MOTORMASTER! DO YOU HAVE MORE COKE?!
Motormaster: Nope all gone.
Wildrider: WTF. Is your alt-mode a vacuum cleaner?!
Breakdown: OMG. MOTORMASTER! DO YOU HAVE MORE COKE?!
Motormaster: Nope all gone.
Wildrider: WTF. Is your alt-mode a vacuum cleaner?!
Circuit City Cashier: Do your friends know that the store is still open?
Drag Strip, also working in her day job as a Circuit City Casher: No. They are honestly the 4 dumbest people I know. They're going to get me fired.
Drag Strip, also working in her day job as a Circuit City Casher: No. They are honestly the 4 dumbest people I know. They're going to get me fired.
Skydive: Nice! Going to get new paint jobs at 6 AM after a 4 day bender was a great idea!
Air Raid: Yay!
Fireflight: I LOVE COCAINE.
Silverbolt: DO YOU THINK MOTORMASTER WILL NOTICE ME NOW?! ILoveHimSoMuch *SOBS*
Slingshot:
Air Raid: Yay!
Fireflight: I LOVE COCAINE.
Silverbolt: DO YOU THINK MOTORMASTER WILL NOTICE ME NOW?! ILoveHimSoMuch *SOBS*
Slingshot:
Scrapper: You know what would be hilarious?
Hook: What?
Bonecrusher: omg guys i can't feel my face.
Scrapper: We should paint ourselves yellow and pretend to be normal construction vehicles.
Mixmaster: HOLY SHIT.
Scavenger: THAT'S THE FUNNIEST SHIT I EVER HEAR WE GOTTA DO IT
Hook: What?
Bonecrusher: omg guys i can't feel my face.
Scrapper: We should paint ourselves yellow and pretend to be normal construction vehicles.
Mixmaster: HOLY SHIT.
Scavenger: THAT'S THE FUNNIEST SHIT I EVER HEAR WE GOTTA DO IT
Hook: Okay. But we first we wait for Long Haul to get back with more cocaine.
Long Haul: I'm back.
Scrapper: WELL.
Long Haul: I brought soup. A whole lot of noodle soup.
Hook: THE FUCK?
Mixmaster: HOLY SHIT I LOVE SOUP.
Long Haul: I'm back.
Scrapper: WELL.
Long Haul: I brought soup. A whole lot of noodle soup.
Hook: THE FUCK?
Mixmaster: HOLY SHIT I LOVE SOUP.
***3 YEARS LATER***
Megatron: PHEW. Let's never do that again.
Optimus: Agreed.
Megatron: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A MONKEY NOW
Optimus: I know. I got into some weird shit I don't want to talk about. Also you're a giant purple lizard.
Megatron: Okay. No more drugs for anyone.
Megatron: PHEW. Let's never do that again.
Optimus: Agreed.
Megatron: HOLY SHIT YOU'RE A MONKEY NOW
Optimus: I know. I got into some weird shit I don't want to talk about. Also you're a giant purple lizard.
Megatron: Okay. No more drugs for anyone.
Ravage, through a thick Russian accent: YOU MOTHERFUCKERS GOT IN SO MUCH DEBT YOU SOLD ME TO THE RUSSIAN MOB. WE ARE NOT JUST PRETENDING THIS DIDN'T HAPPEN.
(tbf this is maybe the best justification for beast wars)
Jazz: Lightweights.
Inferno: I know.
Starscream: Like. It's possible to use recreational drugs and not become a total idiot.
Mirage: HEY GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN COCAINE?!?! METH!
Jazz: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MIRAGE? GO THE FUCK HOME. NO ONE WANTS THAT.
Inferno: I know.
Starscream: Like. It's possible to use recreational drugs and not become a total idiot.
Mirage: HEY GUYS! YOU KNOW WHAT'S BETTER THAN COCAINE?!?! METH!
Jazz: WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU, MIRAGE? GO THE FUCK HOME. NO ONE WANTS THAT.
Sideswipe: *goes flying through the living room window like a sack of flour*
Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK WANT METH.
Slag: ME SLAG DO TOO.
Snarl: ME SNARL WANT—wait where Swoop and Sludge? did Dinobots leave them at Taco Bell?
Jazz: OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW.
Grimlock: ME GRIMLOCK WANT METH.
Slag: ME SLAG DO TOO.
Snarl: ME SNARL WANT—wait where Swoop and Sludge? did Dinobots leave them at Taco Bell?
Jazz: OPTIMUS AND MEGATRON GET IN HERE RIGHT NOW.
Inferno: We had 1 RULE tonight.
Optimus: We know.
Jazz: WHAT WAS THE RULE?
Megatron: Don't give the Dinobots cocaine.
Starscream: AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
Megatron: We gave the dinobots cocaine.
Optimus: In our defense, it was fun—
Starscream: No. Adults are speaking.
Optimus: We know.
Jazz: WHAT WAS THE RULE?
Megatron: Don't give the Dinobots cocaine.
Starscream: AND WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?
Megatron: We gave the dinobots cocaine.
Optimus: In our defense, it was fun—
Starscream: No. Adults are speaking.
Megatron: STARSCREAM WHY DON'T YOU SUPPORT ME?!
Starscream: Oh. my. Primus. You have GOT to be kidding me right now...
Megs: You don't respect me.
Starscream: You. Are. Wearing. Fluorescent. Green. And. Purple. Camouflage.
Megs: wuw
Optimus: I support you Meg—
Jazz: Enough.
Starscream: Oh. my. Primus. You have GOT to be kidding me right now...
Megs: You don't respect me.
Starscream: You. Are. Wearing. Fluorescent. Green. And. Purple. Camouflage.
Megs: wuw
Optimus: I support you Meg—
Jazz: Enough.
Inferno: So let's review.
Megatron: OK DADS.
Jazz: No.
Starscream: The Dinobots are coked out of their mind, lost Sludge and Swoop, & Mirage (SOMEHOW) has gotten WAY TOO INTO METH. We are past joking.
Optimus: Oh shit, my man Mirage came through and he didn't share?
Jazz:
Megatron: OK DADS.
Jazz: No.
Starscream: The Dinobots are coked out of their mind, lost Sludge and Swoop, & Mirage (SOMEHOW) has gotten WAY TOO INTO METH. We are past joking.
Optimus: Oh shit, my man Mirage came through and he didn't share?
Jazz:
Inferno: PARTIES OVER.
Starscream: Everyone's going home.
Drag Strip, walking in: HEY. WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES PICK UP YOUR PHONE? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO PICK ME UP FROM WORK FOR HOURS!
Grimlock: GRIMLOCK WANT MORE COKE.
Drag Strip: ...I need new friends.
Starscream: Everyone's going home.
Drag Strip, walking in: HEY. WHY DON'T ANY OF YOU ASSHOLES PICK UP YOUR PHONE? I'VE BEEN TRYING TO GET SOMEONE TO PICK ME UP FROM WORK FOR HOURS!
Grimlock: GRIMLOCK WANT MORE COKE.
Drag Strip: ...I need new friends.
Slingshot, suddenly snapping up after passing out on the table: I STILL LOVE GOLD.
Bee, snapping up from the couch: ME TOO.
Breakdown, blowing hot air on his arm to see if his new color scheme is Hypercolor*: You know what? I'm with the Dinobot. We need more drugs.
*google it.
Bee, snapping up from the couch: ME TOO.
Breakdown, blowing hot air on his arm to see if his new color scheme is Hypercolor*: You know what? I'm with the Dinobot. We need more drugs.
*google it.
Jazz, Inferno, Drag Strip, & Starscream: *finally getting everyone to bed*
Jazz: Heh that was fun.
Starscream: Yea. We should do this tomorrow.
Inferno: no?
Ramjet, *kicking the door down, screaming as loud as he can*: EVERYONE WAKE UP. I GOT MORE COCAINE!
Drag Strip: oh no.
Jazz: Heh that was fun.
Starscream: Yea. We should do this tomorrow.
Inferno: no?
Ramjet, *kicking the door down, screaming as loud as he can*: EVERYONE WAKE UP. I GOT MORE COCAINE!
Drag Strip: oh no.
Jazz & Starscream: OUR MAN RAMJET.
Inferno: No.
Optimus & Megs: RAMJET!
Drag Strip: I hate you people so much.
Grimlock: *eats Ramjet whole, including the drugs*
Starscream: Huh. Am I supposed to be angry, worried, relieved, or afraid?
Drag Strip: *SIGH* I'll call First Aid
Inferno: No.
Optimus & Megs: RAMJET!
Drag Strip: I hate you people so much.
Grimlock: *eats Ramjet whole, including the drugs*
Starscream: Huh. Am I supposed to be angry, worried, relieved, or afraid?
Drag Strip: *SIGH* I'll call First Aid
