SHORT THREAD:

SCOTLAND'S 5 TIER COVID RESTRICTIONS

For ease of use, each tier has been named after an esteemed member of the SNP.

TIER 1: This is the Joanne Cherry Tier.

Members of the public to remain indoors at all times whilst Ms Cherry & Jolyon litigate in the Courts of Session, petitioning SARS-CoV-2 on the grounds of unlawful discrimination because 'it doesn't care about Scotland'. Interdict sought.

TIER 2: This is the Mhairi Black Tier.

Mandatory participation in the Scottish Government's 'Crack Covid' initiative which entails enrollment in various experimental pharmaceutical trials.

TIER 3: This is the Ian Blackford Tier.

With the exception of essential travel for SNP members, travel in & out of Scotland is prohibited. Scotland's leading epidemiologist confirms the main drivers of infection are the English & Welsh. Reasons to follow...

TIER 4: This is the Nicola Sturgeon Tier.

'Mad wae it' is prohibited until further notice.

TIER 5: This is the Margaret Ferrier Tier.

The herd immunity approach.

'Awa' an bile yer heid' is a lawful defence to any person or persons reprimanded for breach of Coronavirus rules.