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1/ For those who have been subjected to abuse, the journey from VICTIM to SURVIVOR is a incredibly difficult one.
Whether it is childhood abuse or interpersonal abuse in later life, after the denial stage has been successfully broken down, the shock of what they have
Whether it is childhood abuse or interpersonal abuse in later life, after the denial stage has been successfully broken down, the shock of what they have
2/ endured feel utterly catastrophic. What makes abuse so excruciating is not only does it destroy of your relationship(s) in question but it can shatter your whole worldview.
Things that you believed in whether its family, religion, society, law can be shattered forever.
Things that you believed in whether its family, religion, society, law can be shattered forever.
3/ Depending on the severity of the abuse, the survivor may literally have to rebuild their whole world again.
Also if the person is still in the vicinity of the abuser, the abuser may ‘poison the well’ making the victim seem ‘crazy’ & turning the victim’s support system
Also if the person is still in the vicinity of the abuser, the abuser may ‘poison the well’ making the victim seem ‘crazy’ & turning the victim’s support system
4/ against them, leaving the person feeling isolated & vulnerable & ironically more susceptible to further abuse from people who will rescue them.
In many cases, the victim can fluctuate between extreme sorrow & fits of rage because of what they have experienced.
This is normal
In many cases, the victim can fluctuate between extreme sorrow & fits of rage because of what they have experienced.
This is normal
5/ As the brain is trying to process the interpersonal trauma that has been inflicted on the person.
With the right external help & reflection, the victim will journey to becoming empowered, learning to set boundaries & build a strong sense of self.
With the right external help & reflection, the victim will journey to becoming empowered, learning to set boundaries & build a strong sense of self.
6/ In same cases in adults, the person will have to ‘re-parent’ themselves to soothe their wounded inner child.
The process starts to take shape when the victim realises that a) it wasn’t all their fault & b) they have to take responsibility for their lives going forward.
The process starts to take shape when the victim realises that a) it wasn’t all their fault & b) they have to take responsibility for their lives going forward.
7/ For those who genuinely care for the survivor, this can prove difficult as they have to be patient & present while their loved one struggles with the emotional dysregulation caused by the devastating trauma.
Attachment issues are common as the survivor may distrust
Attachment issues are common as the survivor may distrust
8/ intimacy because it may remind them of the perpetrator.
The support person may also need to set boundaries but remind the survivor that they won’t abandon them unjustly & they will help provide a safe space.
If it’s severe, a trained counsellor can help facilitate this
The support person may also need to set boundaries but remind the survivor that they won’t abandon them unjustly & they will help provide a safe space.
If it’s severe, a trained counsellor can help facilitate this
9/ to help the healing process. Recovering from severe interpersonal trauma could take a lifetime but as educators, you play your part by creating a safe, welcoming space for your students & try to hold your students in a positive regard. It can make a world of difference.
Fin.
Fin.
