A Thread On Borderline Personality disorder.

- Borderline personality disorder, also known as “ bpd” is a type of mental disorder caused by extreme and unstable moods or emotions.

BPD usually stems from having an abusive childhood, sexual abuse, genetic factors ( your parents having it), or behavioral patterns you’ve adapted from a young age.

those who struggle with BPD usually lacked parental figures or were neglected and abandoned at a young age.

people with BPD have more activation of the limbic system, an area of the brain that controls fear, anger, and aggression, than people without BPD.

having BPD feels as if you’re constantly walking on eggs shells with yourself. You never know what emotions you’re going to face. It’s like fighting with a person you don’t know because you weren’t the same 2 hours ago. You don’t know who you are, most of the time.

BPD is going through the 7 Stages of grief every hour. We grieve constantly, over the loss of our childhood.

People with BPD are often very anxious, particularly about how we are perceived, whether we are liked, if someone hates us, and in expectation of being abandoned. Calling us “abusive” on top of that just serves to increase stigma and make us feel worse about ourselves.

Symptoms of borderline personality disorder:
1) fear of abandonment: abandonment runs through a persons mind constantly. We are in fear that any little thing we do will send someone away. Most of us have anxious attachment styles. We cling and we overshare so that you can’t

leave us. If you take too long to respond, we believe that you hate us and you’re leaving us. We go to extreme measures to not be abandoned; such as we will give you everything you want neglecting ourselves to make you happy.

Most people with BPD have a “ favorite person”. Losing your favorite person is traumatic and often feels as if you’re dying. You feel like you can’t breathe without them. people with BPD grow up in an environment where they are constantly invalidated and in dire need of

validation, we don’t know who we are so we seek validation from our favorite person. When our favorite person doesn’t give it to us, we feel lost and alone. We feel worthless and we believe that they want us to die and want nothing to do with us .

we don’t choose our favorite person, our brain does and we cling to them. We base our entire existence off of that one person and the way that they treat us. If we don’t get attention from them, we spiral. When we do get our validation from our favorite person, our god complex

kicks in and we feel powerful and so loved. we know it’s not fair to the other person and it’s no ones responsibility to take care of us but ourselves. we will neglect ourselves if our favorite person, “ neglects” us.

we lie and we don’t like to preview ourselves as weak, so we lie to make everyone happy because we fear that if you knew who we really were or our stories, you would leave. We people please constantly.

2) Dissociation, usually stems from PTSD we experienced. Depersonalization is a huge factor in BPD. It’s like being separate from your body. It almost feels like a lucid dream. You’re watching your body do the things it needs to, but you’re not controlling it. You’re out of it.

you often don’t feel real. You sit and your question who you are. You look at the mirror confused if that’s you: it’s like you pinch your skin to remind yourself you’re alive. Nothing feels real. It’s like everything is slow pace. Your name doesn’t feel like your name, you have

no idea on who you are. You just carry on feet dragging.

derealization is a feeling of being detached from the external world, which can include other people or objects. Familiar things can look strange, unreal, or unfamiliar. As if you don’t know who they are, and where you are.

3) mood swings, our moods fluctuate very rapidly. It’s very easy to make us angry and just as easier to make us sad. Our mood swings cause unstable relationships because we are never “ one thing” we’re either happy, angry, sad, annoyed. Or nothing at all. Our moods can switch in

the same of an “hour” meaning nothing we feel is every permeant, but in the moment in feels like forever. It’s overwhelms us and it’s like we can’t breathe, it’s suffocating being at war with yourself.

4) chronic feels of emptiness. We feel as if we will never be enough; ever. For anyone. No matter what we do, we will always upset someone and they will leave us. We want everyone to be so happy so we can try to feel happy for them. We believe everything is our fault constantly

5) impulsive behaviors, people with BPD are very impulsive. It’s very hard for us to not speak our money, or to not do something spontaneous. Most people with BPD have tried to commit suicide, and most have been in psych hospitals. Most of us harm ourselves, wether that’s sex,

drugs, self harm, alcohol. Most people with BPD struggle with addictions and eating disorders.

6) suicidal idealization; people with BPD are constantly suicidal. There is not a day that goes by where they don’t picture their own funeral or them dying. We have a “voice” in our head that’s constantly telling us to kill ourselves. It’s not an alter person, it’s our own voice

when people don’t reply or ignore us, “ they want us dead: they don’t love us: they hate us” we thrive off of attention.

7) splitting: splitting is when we change completely. One minute we love someone with our entire hearts and we think we are going to stay or love them forever, then the paranoia and the abandonment comes in and we hate them. It’s very hard for us to think one thing.

we think in black and white and no gray. They either love us or they hate us. We’re either happy or were angry. There is no in between for anyone with BPD.

8) paranoia: this one is the one that affects me the most. Paranoia is that things are not in your “ control”. We crave control because we are so unstable by nature that it makes it easier for something for us to control. We believe that people are always talking about us,

we believe that everyone hates us. We believe that no one needs us. We believe that we are such so “ unloveable” and we deserve nothing ):. Paranoia is a term generally used to refer to intense beliefs of mistrust or the malicious intentions of others. We don’t trust anyone, ever

an adult with BPD might misread their partner’s cues that they want some alone time as a sign that the relationship is being terminated, and dwell on this belief even when a great deal of evidence to the contrary is presented.

Phrases of a BPD mind :
“ i hate you but please don’t leave me”
“ i feel suicidal right now, but just a minute ago i was so happy to be alive”
“ i wish i was different. I’m crazy”
“ no one loves me”
“ everyone hates me”
“ if i died, no one would care”

our experience is that we have to keep our emotions inside, because we get told I we are overreacting. So We end up feeling like were trapped inside our bodies screaming while no one can hear us.

symptoms:
•quitting just before achieving something, or avoiding activities where you think you might fail or be disappointed
•often changing jobs, hobbies, goals or plans
•keeping very busy so you're never alone.

•getting very angry or frustrated with people
•struggling to trust people
•wanting to be close to people but worrying they will leave or reject you, and so avoiding them
•having unrealistic expectations of people or contacting them very frequently

•ending relationships with friends or partners because you think they might leave you
•anxiously looking out for signs that people might reject you.

we have a reputation of being “ abusive and manipulative” because we seek attention. Our emotions can sometimes be “ abusive” to others because it’s always changing. Our ability to switch up can be seen as abusing you so you don’t leave.

here are some cool things about those with BPD:
1) we strongly value our relationships even if they’re hard for us. We don’t give up on someone.
2) we are very intuitive and can read others very well.
3) were selfless and very generous.
4) loyalty is easy to us.

5) the strongest people you will ever know.
6) we are super creative. Most of us are writers are really into the arts.
7) we are smart as hell.
8) passionate
9) high pain tolerance so most of us will have piercings.
10) natural psychics.

11) always know how to make others feel loved.
when we say we “ hate you” we mean, i hate myself and you’re the only thing stable and good to me and i am jealous and i don’t deserve you and you’re going to leave me so i push you away so you don’t see me like this and leave me

how to be there for someone with BPD:
1) remind them that things are temporary. Nothing you feel will last forever. Have them count to 10 to regain control of their anger.
2) reassurance, please be patient with us. Always remind us if you need time away so we don’t think

you’re ignoring us and you hate us or you’re leaving us. Please don’t be angry when we ask you constantly; “ are you mad at me, “ do you hate me” we need the reassurance. We hate asking just as much as you hate answering.

3) be loyal and consistent. We thrive off of consistency. Do not change up on us. We will take it as our fault.
4) be kind always.
5) tell us that things aren’t our fault, we really do believe everything is our fault.

DO NOT DIAGNOSE YOURSELF, BPD IS VERY RARE.
- end the stigma. We aren’t abusive. Not broken; just a little bent.
This is an awareness thread.