One of my favourite friends for a chat is a psychotherapist dealing with children and families, & the conversations I have with her go all sorts of places. This week I’ve thought a lot about books I read last year centring on how bodies and brains adapt to stress & trauma. 1/

For me one of the most interesting things was discussion of how early stress can actually make children’s brains react w/ permanent change (if there’s no later intervention). Studies have used actual real-time brain scans to explore the way this happens. To me it seems SO sad. 2/

Because essentially when we are stressed our brains will focus blood flow on areas where it’s vital - which somewhat locks us out of our memory and our forward planning. Anyone who’s had an anxiety attack will recognise it’s hard in that moment to access hope or experience. 3/

And the evidence of scans / research further suggests that kids who grow up in uncertain environments, later in life when put under stress will progress much more quickly to this “fight or flight” state. Their brains have become accustomed to shift into that way of being. 4/

As Bessel says, “the body keeps the score”.

One of the things these brains seem to get worse at doing is making judgement calls about impulsive actions. Spending money they don’t have, engaging in risky activity of all kinds. We all do this, but it turns out that they are worse than “average” at assessing the risk. 6/

One of the things I’ve found most helpful about knowing this, is that now I consciously “ask” my brain to search my memory and my imagination for clues as to whether something impulsive is a good idea. Has this worked in the past? What was the result? 7/

Just having good knowledge about the things that have worked or not for us in the past is REALLY USEFUL. I think that’s why those threads of “tell me something you find calming” are both sweet and useful, although I will never find solace in fruity tea. 8/

Most consoling of all there is a lot of evidence that you can change the way your brain runs through these routines. The van der Kolk book has a lot of suggestions and helpful stuff in it and I would HIGHLY recommend it.