Read on Twitter
"if i misgender u correct me"... just stop. if you truly want to be a trans ally how about you put in the effort of normalizing asking ppls pronouns and preferred gendered terms instead of placing that usually anxiety inducing burden on trans people themselves. (a thread)
every day theres a tweet going viral made by cis ppl thinking theyre amazing trans allies telling us that its our responsibility to make sure we dont get misgendered. when people misgender me i usually dont say anything because it goes 1 of 2 ways.
1) they apologize profusely to the point where theyre being manipulative and i end up comforting them even tho i was the one hurt, or 2) they make excuses as to why it was ok to msigender me. even supposed allies do this. now im going to teach yall how to ACTUALLY be good allies
before i start, it really shouldnt be my job to teach yall how to be good allies but i do know there are good people out there who genuinely want to learn how to help the community, and so this is for people who are genuine n sincere in their allyship, but just dont know better
asking trans people to tell you when youve misgendered them is not the way to go, it may seem like that but its not, like i said before its really anxiety inducing and usually always end up with us having to console the person who misgendered us. thats not ok.
if you want to correct yourself when u misgender someone just do it nonchalantly when you catch urself. for example:
"wow shes so pretty"
"they"
"im sorry , theyre so pretty"
"wow shes so pretty"
"they"
"im sorry , theyre so pretty"
do not, and i repeat do NOT go crazy begging this person to forgive u and telling them how terrible u feel and how this is all "new to u". its manipulative , period. dont do that.
if you want to make life alot easier for trans people ,start making an effort to ask everyone u meet for their pronouns and what gendered terms they're comfortable with. that way you'll know yourself if youve misgendered someone, and train yourself to be more aware of what u say
trust me doing what i said before is 100x better than asking trans people to do ur ally work for u, and can help u avoid putting us in uncomfortable situations. if you have any questions my dms are open so feel free to ask. (end of thread)
oh and also cis ppl stop calling nonbinary ppl she/theys them/thems or whatever ... its a joke between nonbinary ppl yall getting way too comfortable making trans jokes lol . if u mean nonbinary, say nonbinary.
