Read on Twitter
Alright, since almost no one seems to understand what I mean when I say that I don't trust men that say "looks don't matter", so I'm gonna rant on here like I always do about asinine shit.
First, when I say that I can't stand that phrase, I'm not saying that I don't think personality matters, because it does. I believe there are multiple factors that play into the attraction process, and I believe they all have their place.
Next, I'm not saying "chase after what SOCIETY deems beautiful", or that subjective attraction doesn't matter. I believe everyone has their own tastes. Not everyone likes women like Kim K or Megan Fox.
What I DO mean when I say that I hate the phrase "looks don't matter" and that I don't trust men who say it, is that your partner should be physically attracted to you.
I mean, why would you PURPOSELY date someone you are not attracted to physically? That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, and a lot of heartbreak to come.
I've also noticed that almost no one ever says this to people they find attractive. It's always a phrase to make less attractive women feel better. It's code for "I don't find you physically attractive, but that's okay because one day someone will like you for your personality."
I'm sorry, but my personal opinion is that both personality and looks shouldn't be the end all be all of dating. I believe that they are both important. I couldn't date someone that didn't think I was physically attractive. That leads to trust issues, and insecurities.
It's no mistake that humans evolved to look at attractiveness in a mate. Attractiveness is subjective, yes, but it is ingrained in our DNA to seek out traits we find favorable in a mate, to pass on to our offspring.
At the same time, I couldn't date someone that doesn't like my personality. If you don't enjoy being around me, find someone else to be with.
I hate that people conflate my hatred of the phrase with "get you someone who is as close to societal standards as possible". That's not my intention. What I MEAN is, date someone YOU PERSONALLY find attractive. Don't date someone you don't find attractive for the sake of dating.
And don't date someone you're attracted to if they have a personality you don't like.
I get that some people genuinely mean well with this phrase, but growing up not being considered attractive by most guys, it's kind of a slap in the face to be told "Looks don't matter". That's the nice way of saying "I think you're unattractive".
Anyway, rant over. Had to get it off my chest.
