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Alright, since almost no one seems to understand what I mean when I say that I don& #39;t trust men that say "looks don& #39;t matter", so I& #39;m gonna rant on here like I always do about asinine shit.
First, when I say that I can& #39;t stand that phrase, I& #39;m not saying that I don& #39;t think personality matters, because it does. I believe there are multiple factors that play into the attraction process, and I believe they all have their place.
Next, I& #39;m not saying "chase after what SOCIETY deems beautiful", or that subjective attraction doesn& #39;t matter. I believe everyone has their own tastes. Not everyone likes women like Kim K or Megan Fox.
What I DO mean when I say that I hate the phrase "looks don& #39;t matter" and that I don& #39;t trust men who say it, is that your partner should be physically attracted to you.
I mean, why would you PURPOSELY date someone you are not attracted to physically? That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen, and a lot of heartbreak to come.
I& #39;ve also noticed that almost no one ever says this to people they find attractive. It& #39;s always a phrase to make less attractive women feel better. It& #39;s code for "I don& #39;t find you physically attractive, but that& #39;s okay because one day someone will like you for your personality."
I& #39;m sorry, but my personal opinion is that both personality and looks shouldn& #39;t be the end all be all of dating. I believe that they are both important. I couldn& #39;t date someone that didn& #39;t think I was physically attractive. That leads to trust issues, and insecurities.
It& #39;s no mistake that humans evolved to look at attractiveness in a mate. Attractiveness is subjective, yes, but it is ingrained in our DNA to seek out traits we find favorable in a mate, to pass on to our offspring.
At the same time, I couldn& #39;t date someone that doesn& #39;t like my personality. If you don& #39;t enjoy being around me, find someone else to be with.
I hate that people conflate my hatred of the phrase with "get you someone who is as close to societal standards as possible". That& #39;s not my intention. What I MEAN is, date someone YOU PERSONALLY find attractive. Don& #39;t date someone you don& #39;t find attractive for the sake of dating.
And don& #39;t date someone you& #39;re attracted to if they have a personality you don& #39;t like.
I get that some people genuinely mean well with this phrase, but growing up not being considered attractive by most guys, it& #39;s kind of a slap in the face to be told "Looks don& #39;t matter". That& #39;s the nice way of saying "I think you& #39;re unattractive".
Anyway, rant over. Had to get it off my chest.
