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i miss x1 and one its every night while i& #39;m having my mental and emotional breakdowns. / a journey of mine while being a pdx 101 stan, and a one it.
— a thread —
i miss x1 and one its every night while i& #39;m having my mental and emotional breakdowns. / a journey of mine while being a pdx 101 stan, and a one it.
— a thread —
2020 has been hard for me, for us. i lost so much things, in fangirling and irl. january should be a great start but everything fell apart, x1 got taken away from us, everything isn& #39;t working out.
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we got no answers on our questions "will x1 be back?" "the d worded is just a joke right?" "will they just even have the chance to say goodbye to us?"
its been hard, it was always hard since that day.
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its been hard, it was always hard since that day.
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stanning x1 since produce x 101 was the best thing i& #39;ve ever did, i had the chance to know them, stan them and love them.
all the controversies, I DONT FUCKING MIND THEM! i will never hate them bcs i know they did nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong on dreaming.
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all the controversies, I DONT FUCKING MIND THEM! i will never hate them bcs i know they did nothing wrong, there is nothing wrong on dreaming.
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i made this thread just to share my experiences with x1 and one its also when i lost them, i lost everyone even myself.
i hope no one and nothing will be trigger when you see this thread.
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i hope no one and nothing will be trigger when you see this thread.
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may 2019 i decided to make an account for produce x 101, i& #39;ve been a stan of pd101 and wanna one even though im very very late on stanning them, i actually stanned them on the last minute back to this acc, while making this im not hoping to be a big acc i just want
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to have someone who can fangirl with me, share our thoughts with each other, have the chance to rant without getting judged,,
it is very very different from my personal acc, everyone will judge you on stanning kpop.
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it is very very different from my personal acc, everyone will judge you on stanning kpop.
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then may 2019 was one of the best months ive experienced i got to know a lot of great people with great hearts. i feel so safe while being here, this became my safest place, my home.
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i gain lot of friends and everything is just working fine bcs i have many people by my side guiding me and telling me that im worth it, pdx stans are the best.
watching pdx was one of the best decision i& #39;ve ever made. yes im afraid at first bcs i know that
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watching pdx was one of the best decision i& #39;ve ever made. yes im afraid at first bcs i know that
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stanning and knowing them will be a very risky decision , but i didnt mind it i just followed my heart and im very grateful that i followed it. now i know 101 boys and i love them sm.
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i hate mnet for making these kind of shows, survival shows ngl but im thankful also that they made it, bcs i got the chance to feel safe with my idols and my cofans, my family.
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july 19 2019
last ep of pdx 101, mixed emotions even tho im drained from school i still got the chance to cry tons. as far as i remember i didnt have the chance to eat that night bcs its late and i became lazy to eat i just smile and cry bcs x1 is now made.
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last ep of pdx 101, mixed emotions even tho im drained from school i still got the chance to cry tons. as far as i remember i didnt have the chance to eat that night bcs its late and i became lazy to eat i just smile and cry bcs x1 is now made.
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even tho the other boys didnt had the chance to join the debut group i just hope all the best for them.
dongpyo was my ult while watching pdx and i said "when dongpyo gets to debut witj the debut group, i will def go all in in this group."
then boom, dongpyo ranked 6th!
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dongpyo was my ult while watching pdx and i said "when dongpyo gets to debut witj the debut group, i will def go all in in this group."
then boom, dongpyo ranked 6th!
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starting that day i started to save money from my allowance bcs i know anytime x1 will debut soon
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august 19, 2019
best day ever! x1 stans finally got our fandom name which was the most beautiful fandom name for me, it is & #39;ONE IT& #39;. bcs of happiness i cried that day, i rlly said "finally, i& #39;m home."
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best day ever! x1 stans finally got our fandom name which was the most beautiful fandom name for me, it is & #39;ONE IT& #39;. bcs of happiness i cried that day, i rlly said "finally, i& #39;m home."
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august 27, 2019
debut day! me and my irl friend pre ordered the both versions of the album, i actually dk how tf i gained enough money to buy the album bcs i rlly thought i will only have the chance to buy one version but thank god everything turned out fine.
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debut day! me and my irl friend pre ordered the both versions of the album, i actually dk how tf i gained enough money to buy the album bcs i rlly thought i will only have the chance to buy one version but thank god everything turned out fine.
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back then my family went to my grandmother& #39;s hometown and i decided to stay at our home alone bcs we had some arguments and x1 will debut but i cant fangirl full time bcs of tge internet connection if i will be going with them so i just decided to stay home alone.
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i thought those 4 days and 3 nights will be tough for me bcs im alone but i never felt it. why? bcs i got x1 and one its. i just stay on twt, eat and sleep then repeat, then d-day came! Yay! best day ever!
i cried, laugh, and cried again. i felt im home.
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i cried, laugh, and cried again. i felt im home.
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after that promotions promotions promotions! but school is a bitch thats why i cant keep up that much also i have no cellphone that time(july 2019) (i just recently got one this aug) and the laptop that im using also stopped working (aug 28, 2019), i am devastated that time
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but i try all the best that i can to get back here and be active again as soon as possible. i bought a new charger for the laptop and keyboard then im back at fangirling after school, but yes school will always be that bitch, next months was always stressful irl
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but here, i dont know stress. I just feel alive and complete beig here, making @shinedongpyo was the best thing ive ever did. knowing y& #39;all and x1 was the best gift ive got last 2019.
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the controversies are still airing up but i dont care,, i just want to focus on x1 and one its, my family. but everything went downhill at the end of the year and the early part of the year.
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i celebrated christmas with less x1 contents but im happy that it was the first christmas with them and one its. i just shrugged the negativity and remained positive, new year still less x1 contents. But im still waiting, i always will.
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january 6, 2020
— a nightmare for me —
i know this date was special for someone but im really sorry but that day everything,fell apart. i broke down, i just felt tired and everything now i lost them. i showed that im strong, but i cant anymore.
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— a nightmare for me —
i know this date was special for someone but im really sorry but that day everything,fell apart. i broke down, i just felt tired and everything now i lost them. i showed that im strong, but i cant anymore.
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i asked why do we need to suffer like this, why do they need to take x1 from us, why is the world so unfair to us?
just why.
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just why.
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for the past months my mental and emotional health are on their lowest points, but i should act normal, i should act that im okay bcs a lot of ppl are holding onto me, i cant afford to be sad and feel helpless, i need to be independent.
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i felt that x1 ghosted me oml im jk tho, i just miss them.
my account got suspended and locked for tons of times bcs i cant be active bcs i dont have my phone and laptop. i faced natural disasters and problems in real life. i lost and argued with my friends
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my account got suspended and locked for tons of times bcs i cant be active bcs i dont have my phone and laptop. i faced natural disasters and problems in real life. i lost and argued with my friends
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have lots of arguments with my family, breakdowns that i cant control anymore, i felt alone everything was dark. i had no light to guide me and show me the way. x1 was not by my side. i felt tired and everything. i want to stop the fight.
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but i did not.
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i saw my internet friends on my personal account closing their stan twts, i broke down again, im not that updated to them bcs my acc got locked and all of my contacts of them was left at home. but i still try to look on the brighter side, i still try to look for the light
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Then, i found it.
april, cravity debuted. minhee and hyeongjun redebuted. hangyul and dohyon debuted a unit, seungwoo got back on victon and cb. woodz comeback. seungwoo, wooseok, eunsang solos! yohan debuted this october, junho is debuting, dongpyo online fan meet.
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april, cravity debuted. minhee and hyeongjun redebuted. hangyul and dohyon debuted a unit, seungwoo got back on victon and cb. woodz comeback. seungwoo, wooseok, eunsang solos! yohan debuted this october, junho is debuting, dongpyo online fan meet.
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everything will be fine, i will support them even tho they are not together anymore, but i will never get tired of waiting. i promised to x1, i will wait for them. i& #39;ll try to be more active here since i got a phone now. I& #39;m trying to get better and better each day.
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if you& #39;ll see this thread, and make it up to this last tweet thank you for listening and reading my journey story lmao thank you. no need to worry about me, i will try to feel better, for x1, for me.
— END —
— END —
