You know, i always knew I didn't want to hit my kids as discipline because i had way too many horrible memories of abuse. However, initially, i had it in my mind that I would corrective train my children like soldiers. You know, make them do squats, burpees, and 6 inches

To bend them to my will and train them to be "good children" or listened and minded.
The idea that children have their own ideas, thoughts and wants is so foreign to us. We talk about them and discipline like they are pets

In one of my conscious parenting groups a mom said, "my son isn't listening to me. he's so combative".

The more experienced mom said, "Do you give him options, do you give him a voice. Do you even explain why you need him to do what you are asking?

...he's a person with consciousness, aware of self. Asking questions of the world and finding his place in it, and you continually give him no autonomy, no choice. Hust commands and demands. Then you yell and whip him for being frustrated for being combative.

A lot of positive discipline/positive parenting isnt the video in my pinned tweets. In all honestly that video was a fail on my part. Because the main part of positive discipline is being prepared and treating empathizing/ treated children like humans with thoughts and feelings

For example: Give your child choices: in what they wear, do eat. You can limit the choices. You can pick out two specific outfits and let them choose between them, you can give them two specific activities and let them choose.
Wouldnt you want a choice?

Explain to children what and why you are doing things. You are their life instructor. Yes it's annoying. Yes you gonna be explaining the most ridiculous shit. I explain to Paris why she needs to switch the thing in her left hand to her right to put her arm in her sleeve

Tell them your routine and schedule, ask their opinion, ask them what you all can pack and bring to make it better/fun for them.

Wouldn't you want that consideration?

One day we went to my appointment and we forgot to pack any toys, puzzles, or tablet and Paris was sooooo difficult. C was so annoyed and saying how she was tripping. However, i thought about it and he had his phone in his hand watching game highlights in that office.

I told him, it's unfair to expect her to just sit in silence in his lap and watch what he wanted. while he was entertained, she was not, and she let that be know because she is human and she had that right (in this house).

And for those ready to argue with me, I'm not saying children don't need discipline. I'm telling you, perhaps you should look at other ideals of discipline cause one sounds like control and trauma to me.

Sorry for all the grammatical errors. I was getting Riley to sleep and honestly, I'm just more of an orator. However, if you need anything clarified, please teach out

Last thing, I said children having their own wants, opinions, and ideals was foreign to us but I'm mot sure if it's foreign or just stigmatized as being "bad".
Ex: You tell a jumping, climbing antsy child to sit down. They dont because they want (need) to jump and climb

We then say ___ is bad as hell. No you should redirect that child to a safe place where they can jump and climb. They are a toddler, they need to get that energy out. However we label them as bad, wild, loud... etc

Here are resources for those looking know more on Positive Parenting and unsure where to start https://twitter.com/supernova_tash/status/1313851508522393602

And because I'm all about supporting Black Women. This is a Black Woman Positive Parenting coach I love https://instagram.com/krissyscouch?igshid=1b1y71xkvixb0

Joy is an education consultant for Positive Parenting specifically Black children and Montessori Method for Black children https://instagram.com/joymarilie?igshid=heee59w5uhw5

And there's me. However, I'm not polished. Im honest and real. Hi, I’m Tash. I blog about Black motherhood (Breastfeeding, babywearing, baby-led weaning, PPD, Montessori, weight-loss, self care, Positive Parenting, Autism acceptance, Black milennial family http://instagram.com/Supernova_momma