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It's 2005 and I'm working for a small, terrible company that doesn't deserve to exist.
Most companies don't. This one is no different.
A decent amount of the VC budget went up somebody's nose. Some of it went to me; you can bet I charged for what you're about to read.
Most companies don't. This one is no different.
A decent amount of the VC budget went up somebody's nose. Some of it went to me; you can bet I charged for what you're about to read.
The idea was simple: screens that display adverts in public places, and charge for the airtime.
[picture of people looking at screens, happy that it improves their lives]
The whole thing was outsourced, because when you have an idea this $$$, you don't gotta make it yourself.
[picture of people looking at screens, happy that it improves their lives]
The whole thing was outsourced, because when you have an idea this $$$, you don't gotta make it yourself.
There was no communication with the off-shore team for six months.
I'm hired to find out if the system is rescuable or not.
I'm good at rescuing feral software. It's like adopting a pet where you can delete half of it, and make it more legible, and then nobody notices anyway.
I'm good at rescuing feral software. It's like adopting a pet where you can delete half of it, and make it more legible, and then nobody notices anyway.
Some things I found:
- ISO 9000 timesheet! One guy spent his day downloading gcc. The system had no C.
-
comments:
fclose($fp1); // close the file handler
- DNA sequencing code. Somewhere, there's a DNA sequencing system with advertising code in it.
- Five database APIs
- ISO 9000 timesheet! One guy spent his day downloading gcc. The system had no C.
-
comments:fclose($fp1); // close the file handler
- DNA sequencing code. Somewhere, there's a DNA sequencing system with advertising code in it.
- Five database APIs
There were five database APIs because they didn't use any kind of version control.
Everybody who needed database stuff wrote their own, so they could modify it without getting in the way of somebody else.
I drew out an ERD. There were no foreign keys.
Everybody who needed database stuff wrote their own, so they could modify it without getting in the way of somebody else.
I drew out an ERD. There were no foreign keys.
I want you to picture the hardware for this system.
All the screens display the same stuff. You could have one video source, sending the same video to every screen.
Then you just have to update the video occasionally, so there'd be an internet connection for that.
All the screens display the same stuff. You could have one video source, sending the same video to every screen.
Then you just have to update the video occasionally, so there'd be an internet connection for that.
Maybe two, if you want fault tolerance.
We had 22 internet connections. One for each screen.
There was no central video source. Each screen had its own custom PC driving it, with its own independent SDSL line.
We ran our own DSLAM! If you don't know what a DSLAM is, good. I wish I didn't either.
There was no central video source. Each screen had its own custom PC driving it, with its own independent SDSL line.
We ran our own DSLAM! If you don't know what a DSLAM is, good. I wish I didn't either.
These were pretty big screens, viewed from a distance.
We were told we must use Flash, the latest version, because of the font rendering.
These were viewed from 30' away. You cannot see the subpixel antialiasing.
We were told we must use Flash, the latest version, because of the font rendering.
These were viewed from 30' away. You cannot see the subpixel antialiasing.
We were also told we must use Linux, because it's free as in cheap. Unlike my mental health.
So how to run the unsupported cutting-edge version of Flash?
So how to run the unsupported cutting-edge version of Flash?
We ran Flash in firefox, in wine, on Linux.
It was too slow to play video.
Flash doesn't have permission to execute stuff,
so we used AJAX to a local httpd.
That ran a CGI perl script, which slept to the millisecond — to launch mplayer in a floating window over the top.
It was too slow to play video.
Flash doesn't have permission to execute stuff,
so we used AJAX to a local httpd.
That ran a CGI perl script, which slept to the millisecond — to launch mplayer in a floating window over the top.
I demoed it, and then I deleted it.
Right there infront of them.
We replaced entire system with mplayer running pre-rendered video, full screen, uploaded nightly.
Right there infront of them.
We replaced entire system with mplayer running pre-rendered video, full screen, uploaded nightly.
One day the ceiling collapsed. It swung down and hit some poor guy in the face.
We hit the christmas deadline.
We got a bunch of screens installed, and they displayed christmas adverts.
The company folded because they were unable to sell the space. Imagine being unable to sell space to advertisers!
We got a bunch of screens installed, and they displayed christmas adverts.
The company folded because they were unable to sell the space. Imagine being unable to sell space to advertisers!
Two months later, in Feburary, the christmas adverts were still running.
