Okay, assuming I actually manage to pull off my IVANHOE adaptation marathon, I think I should have some ground rules for what I consider a successful version.

1. Costumes. Accuracy is NOT a factor, this is Regency medievalish romance. I want grandness and imagination and capes.

2. Brian de Bois-Guilbert. Misunderstood hunky man or sex pest?

3. Jousting. How much? Could there have been more?

4. Robin Hood. Yes or no?

5. Siege. Real castle or set? Amount of burning in said castle, quality of torture chamber.

6. Ivanhoe. Very boring indeed or just somewhat boring?

7. Rowena. Ditto.

8. Prince John. Sinister or camp?

9. The grand finale. Hacked to death or died of heart attack?

I think that covers all the bases. I really want this to happen because it's the 200th anniversary of the first edition.

I think I'll narrow it to English language versions. So that leaves us with:

1913
1952
1970
1982
1997

And I won't do 1997 because it raises my blood pressure to even think about it and it's also quite long. I think I can manage a quadruple feature with sufficient caffeine.

1913: 52 minutes
1952: 107 minutes
1970: 250 minutes
1982: 142 minutes

A little over nine solid hours of IVANHOE.

What have I signed myself up for?

Anyway, you'll find out whether I have the stomach or the caffeine supply on December 31st.

Almost forgot the most important scoring factor:

Whether or not they include some variation of this line:

“Have you confessed yourself, brother, and have you heard mass this morning, that you peril your life so frankly?”

I am a sucker for faux medieval trash talk.