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Yes this is true, but there actually is a reliable method for having a great time at Disneyland. https://twitter.com/reservoird0gs/status/1318323472687276032
1. Get there early. At or before opening is best. Bake in time to navigate the parking garage and walk through Downtown Disney to get to the park entrance. If you or members of your party loathe waking up early, well, I feel for you my friend.
2. *Immediately* hit up whatever your favorite long-line ride is. Space Mountain, Splash Mountain, Indiana Jones...whatever it is, go there first.
3. Similarly, grab Fast Pass tickets for other long-line rides as soon as is feasible.
4. Prioritize your human needs. Sunblock, hats, a steady stream of snacks and water, and giving yourself the grace to go potty as often as needed will mitigate grouchiness.
5. Take a siesta. If you're staying on-site at the resort, or have a crash pad within 30 minutes of the park, take a little break from ~3pm to ~7pm. Sleep, shower, hydrate, wait out the worst crowds, come back renewed. Your parking fee covers exit & reentry.
6. There's more to enjoy about Disneyland than the rides. While you're waiting for your Haunted Mansion Fast Pass slot, sip a lemonade in New Orleans Square. Appreciate the window displays along Main Street. Here's my personal favorite recharge spot: https://www.google.com/maps/@33.8111703,-117.9211219,3a,75y,244.31h,89.73t/data=!3m8!1e1!3m6!1sAF1QipPqULOC-jtND2wmJT-5vTPaEthsTjmYnWufmvM8!2e10!3e11!6shttps:%2F%2Flh5.googleusercontent.com%2Fp%2FAF1QipPqULOC-jtND2wmJT-5vTPaEthsTjmYnWufmvM8%3Dw203-h100-k-no-pi0.28948-ya17.090832-ro-4.168078-fo100!7i5376!8i2688
7. Toontown is trash. No ride in Toontown is worth the wait. Toontown should be razed, expanded, and turned into MCUtown.
8. The line for Pirates is shorter than it looks.
9. Establish expectations with your party members before you arrive. Do you want to maximize roller coasters? How long are you willing to wait in line for your favorite ride? Are there any rides you absolutely refuse to miss? Don't wait until you're hot and tired to prioritize.
10. If you can, be willing to spend money on food and beverage. It sucks paying $7 for a Diet Coke, but it sucks less than feeling so miserable that you can't enjoy your $134 admission fee.
11. Finally, go back in time to the 1990s and live in Southern California so the Tier 1 annual passes are only $99 each.
