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hey friends, I& #39;ve been on a bit of a social media break this weekend (so has toasty)
I& #39;ve been thinking a lot about my content, being a content creator, and how I want to continue my journey.
(continued)
I& #39;ve been thinking a lot about my content, being a content creator, and how I want to continue my journey.
(continued)
I& #39;ve been streaming since 2016. I love streaming, but I continually go through like, months on, then months off.
Ill have high productive spurts and then just completely lose momentum, motivation and energy and only want to be a burrito blanket for weeks and sometimes months.
Ill have high productive spurts and then just completely lose momentum, motivation and energy and only want to be a burrito blanket for weeks and sometimes months.
I do think this is directly related to my mental health struggles (specifically bipolar episodes)
I love streaming, and I absolutely adore my community. Its extremely frustrating to me when I get into my isolation episodes because I feel like I& #39;m letting everyone down.
Like its my job to be available.
Like its my job to be available.
But when I say yes too much I end up getting resentful and feel like everything is out of my control. Its no longer fun.
Its such a difficult balance.
Its such a difficult balance.
I also feel like the harder I try at making content, the more poorly it performs in the aLgOriTHm 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥲" title="Smiling face with tear" aria-label="Emoji: Smiling face with tear"> which just makes me wonder "why do I even bother"
This drives me to the feeling that I need to just live my life and make content if/when it pops up.
But this makes me frustrated because it feels like there& #39;s no end, or no goal really.
It also means I can& #39;t rely on content creation for my main income.
But this makes me frustrated because it feels like there& #39;s no end, or no goal really.
It also means I can& #39;t rely on content creation for my main income.
This means I have to prioritize income over content creation, which means I have less time or energy to put into content creation, which means I gain less and less momentum and the possibility of it BECOMING my main income feels less and less.
Its a downward spiral.
Its a downward spiral.
I& #39;ve lost friends throughout this journey to the "ego/fame" trap. Have learned to recognize toxicity much earlier on, and am much more comfortable saying no and enforcing my boundaries.
I& #39;ve shared my life with whoever cares enough to listen, including the tragedies.
Through that process I& #39;ve learned when and what to keep to myself, because I find that when I open up, I leave a vulnerable spot that can be taken advantage of.
Through that process I& #39;ve learned when and what to keep to myself, because I find that when I open up, I leave a vulnerable spot that can be taken advantage of.
I& #39;ve had to ban people i thought were friends, and through this ive learned that its ok to change your mind, and that you don& #39;t owe ANYTHING to anyone.
I choose to remain authentic and hopeful despite the hard knocks I& #39;ve gained along this path.
Anyway, that& #39;s been my thought process so far.
Over the last several months, I& #39;ve changed a lot of my process and a lot of my focus.
Somehow twitch has always been a distraction from my goals bc it provides so much instant gratification.
Over the last several months, I& #39;ve changed a lot of my process and a lot of my focus.
Somehow twitch has always been a distraction from my goals bc it provides so much instant gratification.
some of the changes:
♡ stepped back from twitch
♡ set up a website&blog
♡ turned off mobile notifs (decrease distractions)
♡ set up multiple niche youtube channels
♡ created long term insta queue
♡ prioritized creating products (graphic design)
♡ accepted first commission
♡ stepped back from twitch
♡ set up a website&blog
♡ turned off mobile notifs (decrease distractions)
♡ set up multiple niche youtube channels
♡ created long term insta queue
♡ prioritized creating products (graphic design)
♡ accepted first commission
Still planning on:
♡ twitch wipe & relaunch including new overlays, graphics, mod wipe and schedule
♡ personal discord wipe and restructuring
♡ streaming schedule will include other platforms such as Instagram, youtube and facebook (diversifying)
♡ twitch wipe & relaunch including new overlays, graphics, mod wipe and schedule
♡ personal discord wipe and restructuring
♡ streaming schedule will include other platforms such as Instagram, youtube and facebook (diversifying)
A lot of my decisions are based on my own experiences and frustrations of feeling stuck/stagnant. But twitch itself has played a big role in my want to become less dependant upon that platform.
My goals are now to be a self sustaining, independent content creator.
My goals are now to be a self sustaining, independent content creator.
I dont need verification from anyone but myself.
Id love to have you all join me on this journey. This continuing journey. Some of yall have been around since I started in 2016, hell some of yall have known me since 2006 lmfao.
I appreciate all the support along the way, and those if you that believe in me.
Thank youhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🥺" title="Pleading face" aria-label="Emoji: Pleading face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="💕" title="Zwei Herzen" aria-label="Emoji: Zwei Herzen">
I appreciate all the support along the way, and those if you that believe in me.
Thank you
also hi im back from my social media break, I missed yall :3
