I truly cannot tell y'all how good it feels to:

1. finally have a "real" job (I start Mon)
2. recognize that montly income from painting has been = to what I'll bring home from my salary
3. know that my new health insurance will kick in when my current plan expires

cont.

4. make a big ol' payment to my student loan provider, even when a bill isn't due for five more months.
5. throw an extra $1200 into an investing app just because
6. soon have my 401K accepting contributions again after a 3-year hiatus

cont.

7. have my car and cats up-to-date on any lingering appointments/check-ups/etc.
8. accomplish all of this WITHOUT any help from PA unemplyment, from whom I have not recevied a single dollar from even though I've filed for at least $7000 when my intership ended in June.

This is all to say:

I have spent the last SEVEN MONTHS extremely anxious (as opposed to the previous THIRTY MONTHS of extra anxious) over finances.

No one can prepare you for how truly draining a masters program is on every level of your being.

It's expensive. You take what feels like a big time out from earning. Your bills don't stop. The uncertainty grows. It exponentially increases in a global pandemic.

The financial anxiety hit in a BIG way last fall, which was the final push I needed to talk to my dr about lexapro

There's really no neatly tied bow to wrap around this thread, aside to say that I'm in disbelief of how things have unfolded and am so beyond filled with gratitude for how grounded and supported I feel right now.