I’m doing a tour of local radio stations based in Ireland and the UK.

In a report today, a man went ‘wild’ brandishing what locals thought was a GUN but it wasn’t a gun it was a foot-rest from a wheelchair.

#HipHipHooray
#BedboundLocalRadioTour

The case went to court and when the judge asked what the defendant had to say, he replied “I WAS OFF MY NUTS”.

Back to the DJ who followed the story with ‘If You Tolerate This, Then Your Children Will Be Next’ by the Manic Street Preachers

Meanwhile in Cornwall, local DJ asked listeners “Have you got a teasmade? It’s like an alarm clock that makes tea. Email or CALL US NOW if you have a teasmade.....oh we have an email from Mary, ‘I don’t have a teasmade’ - thanks for that Mary”

Radio Lincoln is looking for Scousers. “Are you a Scouser? Do you know a Scouser? CALL US NOW if you live in Lincoln and you are a Scouser”

DJ plays The Beatles ‘Day-Tripper’ adding “Don’t forget, if you are a Scouser, you can email OR text if you’d prefer. Come on Scousers!”

Wayne phones in: “I have a teasmade!” DJ “YEEEEES! I knew we’d find one” caller “it’s my wife”. DJ swiftly ends call.

South coast DJ “Pet thefts have SKY ROCKETED since March. I mean, have you tried buying a dog lately? It’s IMPOSSIBLE! Call us if you’ve tried to buy a dog” - then plays by Robert Plant ‘Mercy Mercy Me’

South coast radio show interviewed local undertaker who is also a passionate country music singer with a new album out, “well everyone likes more than one sink in their bathroom don’t they?” she joked.

This joke from BBC Radio Sussex, 12.30am:

Q: How do you kill a circus?
A: Aim for the juggler

Listening to another local radio station today

The phone-in game was
‘GUESS WHAT’S IN THE CUPBOARD UNDER MY SINK. CLUE: IT STARTS WITH THE LETTER F’

The answer surprised me

FLY KILLER