Some interesting stuff about clinicians as ‘wounded healers’ on Twitter; varied views and strong feelings. Nobody asked me, so I’m going to share my take on being a doctor with lived experience of mental illness (and treatment). This is a long thread >

First of all, all of us, whichever angle we’re approaching from, would do well to remember the human beings in all of this. Whatever you think about clinicians who share their experience and whatever they call themselves, they are humans with vulnerabilities. Be kind >

Also: neither Jung nor Jesus are my area of expertise so no comment from me about the phrase itself >

This is what I think, speaking from my lived experience, which is ONLY mine. My history of illness and treatment does not:
1. Give me any first hand knowledge of many of the social factors experienced by many of my patients. I experience illness from a baseline of privilege >

2. Mean that I understand what it’s like to experience any other mental illness. They are not all the same
3. Make me good at my job or give me a greater level of insight into the very varied experiences of my patients
4. Make me unusual amongst doctors >

5. Give me the right to speak for anyone but myself
6. Permit me to make a consultation with a patient about ME more than them >

My experience DOES:
1. Give me a greater level of understanding of people who share my diagnosis than I had as a clinician alone
2. Emphasise to me the power imbalance between clinicians & patients, & the level of privilege I have as a doctor-patient >

3. Mean that I am more mindful of ‘little’ things & how they impact patients, such as admin fuck-ups, cancelled appointments, communication failures
4. Make me count my blessings
5. Make life harder
6. Cause some things at work to upset me which wouldn’t have done before >

7. Make me more concerned for carers of those with mental illness
8. Force me to examine my own prejudices.
9. Make me feel far more vulnerable and sad than I did before, not stronger
10. Negatively impact every aspect of my life >

Now let’s turn it around. How does my experience as a psychiatrist affect how I am as a patient?
Being a clinician:
1. Empowers me with insider knowledge and access to expertise in a way that is not the same for all patients >

2. Enables me to negotiate the power imbalance as a patient far more easily
3. Means that I don’t fear stigma or job loss secondary to illness because I have very good friends and colleagues around me (not common to all doctor-patients, granted) >

4. Gives me the financial stability to take long sick leave and the financial means to access therapy beyond what’s available on the NHS

but...
5. Made me very fearful of being unable to access care because of what I knew of how services fail people >

6. Stopped me from seeking help early because I didn’t think anyone would help me
7. Made some clinicians speak me as a colleague when I needed to be a patient only
8. Affected how I behaved in treatment because I was scared of being labelled ‘difficult’ >

9. Left me terrified of being labelled any of the things I have heard clinicians say about patients: demanding, manipulative, “a PD”, putting it on, not really ill >

These are my truths. Here’s a picture of a cat who does not trouble himself with such matters.