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I had started to say something with this tweet but it was difficult to complete for reasons that I’ve been struggling to face, but for now I would like to clearly state that I stand behind the calls to #BoycottNickMutuma and to #BoycottJaazOdongo.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👇🏾" title="Rückhand Zeigefinger nach unten (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Rückhand Zeigefinger nach unten (durchschnittlich dunkler Hautton)"> https://twitter.com/misskihoro/status/1317091375448457216?s=21">https://twitter.com/misskihor...
My silence in this matter has been wrong, ESPECIALLY given my proximity and platforms. I do not have the luxury of sitting this out because it’s tough to address. My silence has shown complicity and has served to protect them. I could and should have done more when I knew better.
I spoke to Nick on Friday last week at length. I should have done so much earlier but because I know both Koome and Nick, to varying degrees personally, I chose to slowly distance myself from the situation. This was cowardly and wrong on my part.
Cowardly and wrong especially because I gave no consideration to the people actually harmed. I was wrong and I am so sorry to the survivors. I believe you and I’m sorry. And to everyone else in this community, I failed to do my part.
I felt strongly that I should take a stand and my conversations with Nick solidified this, but after I started with that tweet, I choked. Cause looking at those hashtags was a glaring reckoning with the fact that I have my own abusers names to add to them. That’s for another day.
Taking any liberties with someone’s body, without their consent is wrong. There is a powerlessness that comes with having someone with more power than you showing you that they can demand and have access to your body whether you want it or not. It’s abuse.
Ignorance is not a defense here, and you don’t get to play it down with saying you were just lit or being a douchebag. There’s no excuse or defense. Once is horrible enough. You take responsibility, make it right by the person you have harmed and learn from it.
But another instance after that and it becomes a pattern. This is what rape culture stems from. Power and control over someone’s body and ultimately over their peace. You cause trauma which you don’t get to brush off or sweep under the rug because it wasn’t a big deal to you.
Ignorance can’t be a defense for me either. I should have made it a priority to dig deeper into this, discomfort and all, and to take a stand with those brave enough to speak. My conscience, platform and proximity demands it. Hiding behind ‘it’s not my business” was wrong.
It was cowardly of me not to do so because of the fact that Nick is someone I have known and worked with for over a decade. I should have held him accountable especially because of it, and I am sorry I didn’t until now. There is no excuse and I am sorry.
What steps am I taking going forward?
I will not work with him, or any other abuser, and will not amplify projects that he or any other abuser is involved in, whether or not I am a part of it. We shot Disconnect before the accusations became public, but what we do now matters.
I will not work with him, or any other abuser, and will not amplify projects that he or any other abuser is involved in, whether or not I am a part of it. We shot Disconnect before the accusations became public, but what we do now matters.
Disconnect on Netflix is a win, and so many other people worked hard for this, but there will be other wins. I’m sure of that. So for now, @nickmutuma, and we spoke about this, do the right thing. One person forgiving you does not speak for the others. https://twitter.com/njokingumi/status/1318137555192217602?s=21">https://twitter.com/njokingum...
I have spoken to @muthoniDQ about actionable steps to take to ensure that these spaces that I am a part of, both in the film and music industry are safe. So many harmful things have been normalized over the years and we can’t just keep saying ‘it is what it is’.
One of my last experiences in a recording studio had me walk away and not look back. So many times I have told myself that maybe my dreams to sing were just not strong enough for me to do whatever it took to achieve them. But truth is some of those spaces are hella toxic.
DQ and I spoke about the crowdsourced repository of information on women-verified producers and studios. We expanded on this, with the possibility of including all players in both industries, and how we can start this ASAP with what we have available.
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Creating a space where information is available on what good practices are in these spaces, and granting access to knowledge on what these structures are so that any newbies, or folks already in the industry know what is okay and what isn’t.
Holding those with power and resources to these structures to ensure safety and behavioral guidelines are met. That includes me.
Have helplines shared widely along with this info, for anyone to report anything they witness or experience, and to receive tangible assistance in tandem with this.
https://twitter.com/muthonidq/status/1317734660970024960?s=21
There’s">https://twitter.com/muthonidq... so much @muthoniDQ shared that’s being done and I commit to being a part of that.
https://twitter.com/muthonidq/status/1317734660970024960?s=21
There’s">https://twitter.com/muthonidq... so much @muthoniDQ shared that’s being done and I commit to being a part of that.
Silence has been comfortable but it has also been wrong and I know that participating in collective silence, especially by us in these industries and with these platforms, does nothing but enable, empower and protect abusers. I’m sorry for my part in that.
The last 4 days have been full of a lot of learning, reckoning, confronting and release.
But also, of taking responsibility for my silence and inaction, and I am grateful to @bintiM , @zandiiiiiiii and @muthonidq for granting me an audience and advice.
I have to do better.
But also, of taking responsibility for my silence and inaction, and I am grateful to @bintiM , @zandiiiiiiii and @muthonidq for granting me an audience and advice.
I have to do better.
For now I’ll leave this thread by Njoki, who does so much to teach and grant us the language to articulate what we don’t know or understand.
Because yes, multiple truths about abusers can exist. That they can create beautiful work, and also be abusers.
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Because yes, multiple truths about abusers can exist. That they can create beautiful work, and also be abusers.
