My promised hornee fic.

Canon-divergence: major plot points are the same, but Wangxian start having stress sex during the Sunshot Campaign.

Switch!Wangxian
Some angst
Yearning
Eventual happy ending

This is my celebration of 700 followers! Thank you all.

//This feels like it's going to be a long one, so I'll update over the course of a few days. Stay tuned, and bookmark where you are so you don't get lost in the thread!

They camp in the woods for the night. After the defeat of Wen Chao, the allied sects are tired and find a clearing between towns to regain their spiritual energy.

None of which, of course, Wei Wuxian has.

JC has gone to sleep already. LWJ has been lying on his cot since 9pm.

WWX leaves the tent.

After his core was taken out, he's been relearning his body. He is weaker, though he has diabolism. He feels tired most of the time, like he could lie on the grass and fall into an oblivion.

He also feels a dull aching, needful thing between his legs.

At first he thinks it must be the missing jindan, a kind of phantom pain.

But as he walks away from the tents & into the woods, leaning against a tree, he feels that heat again, rising. He hears the crickets roaring, like screaming ghosts. Everything is duller *and* more acute.

His hand sweeps his hair back, and roams down to where his erection is. He folds back his robes, tucks his hand into his trousers, and emits a shuddering breath as his cold fingers touch his cock.

His other hand clutching the tree bark, his ass clenches.

He is thinking of nothing at first, but then bursts of white appear in his mind. Long, tapering fingers, The hem of a robe. Bow-shaped lips. Serious amber eyes peering at him.

His strokes quicken on his cock, his thigh trembling.

He moans, "Lan Zhan."

And hears: "Wei Ying?"

WWX watches LWJ near him, gliding towards him with an impenetrable expression. He is beautiful in this moonlight, painfully so.

He realizes what he looks like: disheveled, his robes in disarray, not even untied, his hand around his cock.

He is about to take his hand out of his trousers and make some excuse, but he is rendered speechless. LWJ comes closer, and closer, and then, one foot away, he unfastens Bichen from his belt, puts the sword on the forest floor--his amber eyes not letting WWX's eyes go.

When LWJ raises himself to WWX's eye level again, he says, his lips barely moving, "Let me help you."

They've had this conversation many times the past few weeks. It always goes the same way. WWX has been avoiding him for this very reason.

But--this is different.

"What can you help me with?" WWX says, his voice like a crackling fire. It sounds defeated, as it has for weeks--but with some embers.

LWJ looks at WWX--with startling tenderness, his eyelids at half-mast as his gaze drops to his lips.

And then his long, guqin player's fingers graze the flyaway tendrils at WWX's temple, the ones liberated from his half-ponytail.

WWX is frozen. Watching. Feeling.

LWJ's fingers brush his cheek, cradle his face. "This."

His lips draw near.

WWX has seen people kiss before. He has read several pornographic books. He knows what this must look like.

But it overtakes him, as if the knowledge has been inside him all along.

He wants more, more knowledge, more of LWJ. He closes his eyes, feeling LWJ's full lips on his.

Their lips move hungrily against each other's--WWX loses track of whose skin is whose. He nearly snarls as he takes LWJ's bottom lip in his mouth and sucks on it.

LWJ lets out a small gasp, and presses his body closer to WWX, who feels his cock against another hardness.

WWX chuckles against LWJ's lips, not knowing LWJ could make that sound. He likes it.

LWJ's fingers graze his arms, and find WWX's. Their tongues dance together as LWJ intertwines his hands through WWX's.

This is all too tender, aching, WWX is arching his back.

He wants more. LWJ is moaning against him, low, baritone sounds that send vibrations down his whole body.

He pulls away momentarily, and says, grinning hazily, "Who knew you were so good at this, Lan Zhan? Where did you learn this?"

LWJ responds with a bite on the lip.

"Nothing from you," LWJ murmurs sternly. "You tell me nothing all month and now you talk?"

He sucks at WWX's bottom lip hungrily, eagerly, lathering a sleek tongue along the lip, until WWX's mouth slackens in thoughtless pleasure. He lets out a tenor moan, like a song.

LWJ raises a brow, proudly, and trails kisses along WWX's jawline.

WWX lets out small, breathy laugh. "You think you can teach me a lesson this way, Hanguang-jun? You think this is the righteous path?"

LWJ sucks hard on the side of WWX's neck.

"I won't surrender to you, Lan Zhan," WWX says when he regains some strength.

"You will," LWJ says simple, dropping to his knees and setting WWX's robes on his own shoulders in one neat movement. He pulls WWX's trousers down, and--

"Lan Zhan, you don't--Ungh!"

LWJ has taken WWX fully in his wet, hot mouth, swirling his tongue around in hypnotic patterns, moaning all along.

He moves his hands back around to WWX's asscheek's, clutching firmly, feeling WWX thrust into his mouth.

WWX is quaking with pleasure,

his hands roaming from his own disheveled hair, yanking on it for any sort of earthly support, clutching the tree bark, and finally mustering the courage--lacking the restraint not--to touch LWJ's hair.

He moans again, & LWJ releases him, saying, "Wei Ying, you must be quiet."

It is true. The camp is not so far away.

WWX nods in dazed assent, trying to keep quiet, but when LWJ begins to suck harder, he can't resist, bucking his hips and clenching his abdomen.

He pulls on LWJ's forehead ribbon, like a rein.

LWJ pulls away, kissing WWX's girthy, pleading cock, and says, "Wei Ying, if you can't be quiet, steer me, clutch the ribbon."

"I'll steer you into the righteous path, Lan Zhan."

"You're mistaken. I'll steer *you* there," LWJ says, trailing small licks against his length.

WWX takes either side of LWJ's ribbon, winding around his own wrists to get a handle on LWJ. LWJ's licks slow, tantalizing.

WWX shudders, and pulls on the reins. "More, Lan Zhan."

LWJ shakes his head, his tongue rubbing horizontally against his cock.

"Please."

"Only if you promise to be good," LWJ says.

WWX's head is thrown back, his thighs quaking. "You know I can't do that."

"Then I'll make you."

LWJ draws patterns on WWX's cock with his tongue and lips, as if it's a talisman he's blessing.

WWX never thought he could feel this way. He never thought sex would feel like this. He feels like he can see all the stars. He feels like he is one, perfectly aligned with LWJ in some fateful constellation.

His hips buck, his every muscle trembles, he watches as LWJ's eyelashes flutter, and moans as his eyes raise to meet his own. LWJ's perfect lips are around his erection.

His nipples are perked against the silk of his robes, and not from the night chill.

His fingers tremble against the ribbon, which are loose in his hand. He musters strength enough to wind them once again, tighter. He thrusts even deeper into LWJ's beautiful mouth, feeling LWJ's breaths and moans against his skin.

Their eyes are locked, and then WWX can barely see LWJ anymore, for his eyelashes are fluttering in pleasure, his head thrown back against the tree trunk, his full attention on the feel of LWJ. The existence of this man.

"L-Lan Zhan, I'm going to--"

"Mn," LWJ moans against him

urging him on with his tongue, his tight lips, his low voice, his sucking, his sound of assent.

He clutches WWX's ass closer, sucks his cock deeper into him, and WWX finishes into LWJ's mouth.

He trembles, feeling so warmly towards this man, feeling a glow like he hasn't felt before. The feeling of a well-lit home.

It is not in the place where his jindan was. It's somewhere, deeper, even.

LWJ releases WWX gently, his lips smeared w that starry coating. He raises himself up to WWX's eye level again, and kisses WWX, who licks his own cum from LWJ's lips.

When they part, their eyes harbor galaxies.

WWX says, breathlessly, "Lan Zhan. You're master of seven arts."

//That's it for tonight! I'll update more throughout the week!

A week later, they're closer than ever to where they believe the last bastion of the Wen army lies waiting. The allied sects make camp on the outskirts of town. JC and LXC volunteer to scout out the west end. WWX and LWJ scout out the east end, guarding their stronghold.

They haven't spoken of what happened seven nights ago. They have been busy attending meetings.

And WWX keeps telling himself that this is what some do during wartime. This is what people do when they're stressed.

And without a core, he has been more stressed, more heated.

As if his body is yearning for the thing it's lost, a fierce ghost, a phantom of itself.

And it wants LWJ.

He's realized that this yearning has been targeted at LWJ. Why his childhood friend of all people? Perhaps it's bc they spent so much alone time in that cave.

Perhaps it's a simple fluke, another symptom of the surgery. And LWJ just happened to be his first kiss.

"Wei Ying."

WWX shakes his head, snaps out of his thoughts. "Mm."

"We should stay here for the night." LWJ points to the nearby village. "We don't want to be too close."

He nods. They place their makeshift blankets down on the ground, and WWX fashions an impromptu tent out of a blanket that JYL gave to him for the journey. They sit under it, sheltered from the elements.

Quite close to one another.

WWX cleans Chenqing as LWJ sharpens Bichen.

He misses sharpening Suibian. He misses honing a craft. He misses being able to fly on his sword. He misses his strength. He feels that emptiness inside his abdomen again, pulling inward as if it'll swallow him whole.

He loves his brother with everything he has. He is so happy to see that prideful grin on JC's face when he wins a battle.

But he misses doing it himself.

His grip tightens around Chenqing.

Sometimes, he wants to scream. Sometimes, he wants to tear the world apart.

He lets out a sound, something like a sob.

He feels LWJ's steady eyes on him. He reluctantly brings his own eyes up to his companion's. He feels unworthy of those amber stones, those bow-shaped lips.

Both unworthy of, hungry for.

"Wei Ying. What's the matter?"

He doesn't answer. LWJ's eyes drop down to his tight grip on Chenqing, his whitened knuckles.

LWJ's long fingers touch his own.

Immediately he feels anchored. He lowers his flute, puts it back in his belt.

He lets out a dark chuckle. "Sorry, Lan Zhan."

"Is it hard to control?" LWJ asks. WWX meets his gaze, and sees that there is no judgment in it--this time, it's softer. His eyes wide, lip trembling. It is concern.

"I just feel...so tired." It's true. "And so angry, like I want to..."

LWJ waits, shifts his body towards WWX.

"Like I want to...finish everyone off," WWX says, letting out another guffaw at himself. "Like I want to rip them apart so the people I love can rest peacefully. I never want to see their ghosts in Yunmeng. If we ever go back there."

"Finish everyone off..."LWJ echoes.

"Yes, isn't that terrible?" he shakes his head, buries it in his hands. "I feel like I've lost what's made me...human."

They sit in silence, until WWX hears: "Take it out on me."

He raises his head, in disbelief.

LWJ inches closer.

"You said you want to finish everyone off." LWJ says, his fingers at his belt. "Take it out on me."

WWX is about to ask a question--he doesn't know what--but then LWJ is taking off his outer robe, folding it neatly to the side of the tent.

/What if I hurt you?/ he wants to ask, but he is no longer a cultivator. Chenqing aside, his robes aside, he knows he will be safe.

And LWJ, oh LWJ, is now in his inner robes, and the planes of his chest and abdomen are so clear to WWX. And WWX knows how strong he is.

WWX nearly lunges at LWJ, his hands throwing back LWJ's inner robes, his mouth finding LWJ's, the one he's hungered for--he doesn't know how long--but the one he's thought of constantly for days.

"Take my clothes off," he growls against LWJ, moving his lips to his throat.

LWJ lets out a sound of obedience, and WWX feels his clothes slip off. His hands roam through LWJ's long, elegant, smooth hair, tugging like he'll slip off the earth if he doesn't.

He sits in LWJ lap, their naked thighs warm against each other.

"You're good at listening, aren't you, Lan Zhan?" he asks, curious.

"I can," LWJ manages, his lips against WWX's shoulders.

"Then listen to me tonight, since I'm so wicked and you're so good."

He grips LWJ by the hair and gently tugs him back so their eyes meet. "Can you do that?"

"Mn," LWJ says.

"Good." He brings his lips to LWJ's again, deepening the kiss. Their tongues swirl together, undulating like their own tidal rhythm.

He is acutely aware of LWJ's erection between them. His own as well. But he will save that for later.

He begins slowly, tracing his fingertips against LWJ's smooth back, taut and muscular. His mouth leaves LWJ's ajar as he trails kisses against his jawline.

He kisses LWJ's forehead ribbon chastely, with a small smirk, before getting back to business.

He runs his fingertips across LWJ's back, around his hips and across the sides of his thighs.

LWJ shudders, his cock throbbing.

WWX gives a wicked smirk.

LWJ watches him, mouth slackening, eyes mesmerized and unwavering. He leans back on his hands to let WWX do what he will.

WWX keeps tantalizing, teasing with his hands, touching everything but LWJ's cock

his lips and tongue alternating in hypnotic touches across LWJ's collarbones, then down the slopes of his tight pecs, and down towards his abdomen.

He kisses every inch of skin around LWJ's cock--but not the cock itself.

LWJ is shuddering, his ass clenching, insistent.

"No, Hanguang-jun," he says. "You do as I say, at my pace."

LWJ nods, thoughtlessly.

"By the end of this, I want to make you forget everything. Everything but my name. Forget this war. Forget the name of your sword. Forget all the thousands of rules. Just you. And me. Here."

LWJ doesn't say anything, so WWX trails a quick lick up his length. "Do you hear me, Lan Wangji?"

"Yes," he says, barely a whisper.

"You said I could take it out on you."

"You should."

WWX chuckles victoriously at /should/. Then he dips down to get to business.

He sits further down LWJ's legs, leans forward, and blows hot breath against LWJ's length. Feels LWJ shudder beneath him.

He does it from the sides, the front, breathing small quick breaths and heavy hot ones.

LWJ's nipples are perked, his straightened arms quaking.

Seeing this, WWX feels proud, powerful, and bends down to suck on LWJ's strong inner thigh. He works his tongue against the flesh, his lips tight. LWJ moans, lowly, resonantly.

WWX leaves that thigh, seeing victoriously how he has marked LWJ, and goes to the other thigh.

"Wei Ying," he hears LWJ whisper, "please."

"Please what?"

"Please touch me."

"Where?" he teases.

LWJ bucks his hips, his untouched cock raised in the air.

"In due time," WWX answers, licking up LWJ's thigh.

Indeed, he does eventually get to LWJ's balls, licking them and lightly fondling them.

"Please," he hears LWJ say again.

"Not a word from you today, Lan Zhan, or I'll not touch you at all."

"Please," LWJ says, more insistently.

WWX raises himself, unties his ribbon from his hair, and holds it to LWJ's mouth. "You'll get tied up for that."

LWJ's mouth slackens at the idea, inviting the ribbon. WWX ties his ribbon over LWJ's mouth and behind his head.

He marvels at the image: a naked LWJ, mouth covered in his bright red ribbon, his own white forehead ribbon intact but a little askew.

WWX never thought he'd see this, but he feels feral at the sight.

"Now, as I was," he says, and swiftly takes LWJ's hardness into his mouth.

He sucks as if he hasn't had nourishment in days. And in some ways, he hasn't--it has been a full week.

His tongue swirls in circles up and down LWJ as his lips move in echoing patterns around LWJ's girth.

LWJ makes a sound, a muffled, "Fuck."

This spurs WWX on.

He is drooling all over LWJ, the wetness making his job easier, moving up and down, his hands on LWJ's abdomen, which clenches and unclenches with each thrust of his hips.

He moans, sending another shiver up LWJ, who makes another muffled sound: "Wei Ying."

WWX slows his sucking and releases LWJ. He sits up back onto LWJ's thighs and says, "Sit up, Lan Er-Gege."

LWJ does, trembling in breath and muscle, and WWX moves closer, sitting even further up LWJ's thighs, until their cocks are touching. They both begin to thrust.

WWX brings a hand to their cocks, holding them together. The wetness from his drool has sleeked both of them up, and they buck their hips. He brings LWJ's other hand, and they both have their cocks between them now, rubbing together.

LWJ is /so big/. WWX's thrusts quicken.

He watches blearily the beauty of LWJ's abdomen, his amber eyes misty, his mouth now around the red ribbon, slackened in pleasure. He hears as LWJ moans, "Wei Ying. Wei Ying."

"Lan Zhan, you are not allowed to finish without me."

"Ungh," LWJ says in assent.

WWX's free hand grips LWJ's thigh for support as he leans back, the other hand still around their cocks, some of his fingers overlapping with LWJ's smooth hand.

He thrusts, feeling himself ascending, finding this perfect rhythm with LWJ.

He feels a tingly warmth below, a fullness he hasn't felt in a long time. He feels like he could touch the stars.

He throws his head back, moaning. "Lan Zhan, I'm close. We finish together."

He musters strength to sit back up, his free hand now gripping LWJ's hair.

Their foreheads pressed together in desperation, they feel each other's breaths on their faces, their mouth clinging to each other, messily, thoughtlessly.

"10..." WWX begins to count down.

LWJ takes a laborious, steadying breath.

"9...8...." WWX says, barely getting the numbers out. A wave of pleasure moves through him, and he tries to focus again. "8..."

He nearly laughs at his miscounting. "7..."

"Fuck," LWJ moans again.

That nearly sends WWX off the edge. He grips LWJ's hair harder.

"6..." Their cocks have somehow grown harder, larger in their hands.

"5...4..." WWX can barely keep it together, his hips are thrusting so fast.

"3..."

"Wei Ying."

Their lips meet in a desperate kiss.

"2..."

"Ungh--"

"1..."

They writhe in tandem, their hips bucking, their cocks throbbing against their hands, against each other.

WWX collapses on top of LWJ, who lets himself fall back, WWX safely against his chest.

They only see stars, their bodies coated in sweat and cum. WWX slides to the side of LWJ, one knee hooked over LWJ's hip. His hand finds LWJ's cheek, caressing it softly.

He takes his ribbon out of LWJ's mouth.

Their lips find each other, somehow, in that darkness that has fallen.

They don't know what to call it. They have forgotten words.

Just like WWX said.

They kiss, their lips soft, gentle, as if cherishing this touch, trying to memorize it like a treasure.

As if acknowledging the ephemerality of this moment.

As they regain their breaths, LWJ murmurs, "Did it work, Wei Ying?"

"Hm?"

"Do you feel...unburdened?"

He thinks of his jindan. He thinks of his sword, of Chenqing.

They are there, but they are not haunting. Just there.

"I feel...lighter."

LWJ's hand strokes WWX's hair. Once. Gently. So briefly that he could've imagined it.

As the moment melts away, as clarity returns, WWX sits up, wipes off evidence of their shared passion from their abdomens. He pulls their clothes over them.

It's grown chilly, and they can hear the marketplace in the distance.

WWX rolls onto his back and stares at their tent ceiling. He remembers his old bed. He feels full, and sad, and happy. And warm here.

"Lan Zhan."

He feels LWJ staring at him.

He meets his gaze.

That constant gaze. The one that is trustworthy, stable, steady.

"Wei Ying."

He smiles. "You don't have to help me. Like this. Or at all."

LWJ blinks once, slowly, and says, "Yes. I do."

WWX is about to reply, but LWJ closes his eyes. It must be 9p.m.

He takes this as his cue to try to fall asleep too. They have work to do in the morning.

Silently, he curls up towards LWJ, pressing only his forehead against LWJ's shoulder. He waits for protest. It doesn't come.

How strange that this man so different from him would be so generous. Perhaps the Lans were all like this, loyal, principled.

Perhaps their time in the cave bonded them for life. Perhaps this is LWJ's way of staying true to his morals.

WWX doesn't know.

He only knows that for the first time in a long time, he is able to take a deep, complete breath. That sleep comes easily for him this night.

And that he cherishes this spot of earth where he can lean on someone, and he would still be there in the morning.

//That's my update for tonight!! More tomorrow--Phoenix Mountain ;) Much love to you all and for making my bday special! Likes and comments are appreciated and keep me encouraged! Thank you all.

It is months until WWX sees LWJ again. As they defeat the Wen imperialists, WWX spends his time helping JC rebuild Yunmeng, establishing him as the sect leader. And then they get a notice of the Phoenix Mountain hunt.

As the cultivators go into the forest to hunt, WWX, blindfolded, whispers to LWJ--he knows it is him, for his very scent--"You can find me when we've won, eh, Lan Zhan?"

And he goes off to play his flute away from the others.

After he's captured a majority of the ghosts, after he feels like he's done his part, WWX lies languidly on a low and wide tree branch, his blindfold still on.

He is grinning with pride, but there's a hollow sadness beneath . He is thinking, for some reason, of his childhood.

Of wishes and promises made. To JC. To his sister. To LWJ.
They could still come true. But they'd be different now.

He feels exhausted most of the time. Grief-ridden. Still capable of joy, but...heavy.

He is plucked from his sad reverie by a pair of lips.

At first, he is startled. Who--?

And then the lips press more firmly against his, and he knows this plush feeling, knows the breath upon his face, smells the sandalwood and clean linen.

"Lan Zhan," he breathes. He lifts his fingers to his blindfold, but LWJ's are already there

to take it off. "I need to see your face," he says lowly.

They peel off the ribbon together and gaze into each other's eyes.

The past two times they've had sex, it has been, WWX thinks, bc he himself has needed it.

But there is something burning in LWJ now.

And WWX can see it, in the determined jawline, in the serious eyes.

WWX feels a vulnerability he hasn't let himself feel in a long time. "Lan Zhan," he says, his fingers playing with one of LWJ's loose tendrils. Their faces are so close. LWJ leans over him, filling his sky.

"Visit Yunmeng," he says, feeling small.

LWJ blinks, surprised. "You want me there?"

WWX nods. "I've always wanted you to visit. Come to Yunmeng with me."

"I will," LWJ says, his hips pressed against WWX's. "After you come with me."

"To...?" He feels his erection. "Oh."

Immediately, he feels a stirring inside his abdomen. He reaches desperately down, peeling aside LWJ's robes, careful not to undress him lest other cultivators pass by and see.

LWJ does the same. They stroke each other's cocks, their mouths parted against the other's.

"This is what you've been hunting, Lan Zhan?" WWX teases, but his voice is catching fire. "What kind of cultivator are you, looking for human flesh?"

LWJ bites his bottom lip in retribution.

"You're not in a kind mood today, eh, Lan Er-Gege?" WWX asks. "What happened to--ungh"

He stops, speechless, as LWJ's deft musician's hands have slowed to a single-fingered stroke. He clutches LWJ's hair, pressing his hungry lips to his.

LWJ pulls away after a deep kiss and says, "What were you saying?"

WWX chuckles, mirroring the cadence of LWJ's slow strokes.

"Aren't you supposed to be hunting ghosts?" he whispers against LWJ's blushing ear. "What are you doing here?"

"You know what I'm doing," LWJ nearly growls, burying his face in WWX's neck, licking and sucking.

WWX throws his head back in pleasure,

his free hand roaming down the back of LWJ's silk trousers, clutching his ass, feeling it gyrate and move as LWJ's cock pumps into his hand.

"Ah, Lan Zhan," he moans, "mark me."

LWJ groans with pleasure, and obliges, his lips locking on the side of WWX's neck, sucking harder.

"Ungh, yes, mark me like I marked you," he says.

LWJ's mouth moves to WWX's collarbone, moving the cloth of his robes out of the way with sharp teeth, and sucks at the slope of his shoulder.

In WWX hand, LWJ grows even bigger.

"Lan Zhan, I want more of you on me," WWX begs, keening, his hips bucking, wanting more than just two fingers against his cock.

LWJ shakes his head, rubbing his tongue side to side on his earlobe. "No. You will listen to me today."

"Why should I?"

LWJ demonstrates to him why: he takes him fully in his grip once, with one long, deliberate stroke, making WWX nearly lose his connection to earth.

Then he switches back to only two fingers.

"Because you won't last if I do," LWJ says, nibbling on his earlobe.

"I can," WWX pants, thrusting, begging for LWJ's touch. "I can, I'll show you."

"In due time," LWJ says simply, returning his mouth to WWX's. They lap at each other with wet tongues, desperate, urgent.

LWJ's free hand steadies WWX, makes sure that WWX is secure on the branch.

And once it does this, it moves down WWX's side to steer WWX's hips and clutch his asscheek.

They both are locked once more in a celestial pattern: stroking each other's cocks, their asses gripped firmly in each other's hands.

Their lips lock together, until LWJ shudders,

his eyes meeting WWX's. "Wei Ying..."

WWX's eyelashes flutter. A rivulet of drool runs down the side of his mouth. LWJ licks it up, and returns to gazing at him. There is earnestness. And something else, something soft. And scared.

"Wei Ying..."

"Yes?" WWX asks.

The softness in LWJ's eyes spurs WWX on, makes him yearn more. He switches rhythms of his hands, stroking as if he's playing the guqin.

LWJ shudders again, meeting WWX's lips with his tongue. WWX immediately opens his mouth to allow entry & their tongues move with their hips.

LWJ's breathing crescendoes into moans, hot and heavy against WWX, and finally both their mouths are ajar with pleasure. LWJ says again, "Wei Ying..."

WWX says, "Do what you need to do, Lan Zhan."

"Are you--"

"I'll join you."

LWJ finally, finally, wraps his whole hand around WWX's throbbing cock. WWX does the same, and they stroke rigorously, pleasuring in their hips bucking, their asses clenching and unclenching in the other's strong hand.

They shudder and moan, feeling very much alive, full.

And for WWX, light. Without a care. Without a burden.

Without anything except this man, who makes him feel safe, protected.

He realizes he often feels hunted, like a ghost.

He realizes his gaze has been on LWJ for a long time.

"Wei Ying, are you okay?"

WWX nods, smiles, tucks LWJ's tendril behind his burning ear. "Very. I was just thinking..." he chuckles. "You're like my talisman, Lan Zhan."

LWJ raises himself up so his full weight is no longer on WWX. "What do you mean?"

WWX blinks, regaining clarity, and sits up next to his companion. "You know when you're a child afraid of the dark, you hide under the blankets--which are like a magical shield? Or, when I lived on the streets, I would sleep in this one alleyway that I felt was safe.

I felt like nothing bad could touch me there."

"Mn."

"Yunmeng is like that for me. Or at least, it's becoming that way again now that we're working to make it better. My childhood bed is like that. And..." he chuckles. "You're like that."

LWJ is silent for what feels like forever. The birds are chirping in the distance.

WWX grows shy. "Silly, right?"

"Not silly," LWJ says lowly.

They hear another cultivator shout far away. WWX stands up, and removes his stained inner robe. LWJ does the same.

They begin to make their way back towards the din. They let a comfortable silence fall over them. And then WWX says, "Lan Zhan, promise you'll come to Yunmeng to see me. Now that the war is over...maybe we'll have more time for fun."

LWJ stops to peer at him. And says, "Mn."

"But since we don't know when that'll happen..." WWX nears LWJ, who closes his eyes instinctively.

And who feels WWX's soft lips against his cheek.

"Thank you, Lan Zhan," he says, pulling back and smiling brightly. "You can return that to me in Yunmeng."

Later that night, LXC asks, "Wangji, did you forget to wear your inner robe?"

LWJ looks down. "I was...probably too tired to notice."

In a separate camp, JC shouts at WWX, "Where the hell are your inner robes? Did you lose them in some fight?"

WWX smiles. "Kind of!"

//That's all for tonight!! Please stay tuned for another update tomorrow around the same time.

for #mdzsff tonight, we'll be getting some top!Yiling Laozu, and a slightly flustered but very enthused Hanguang-jun~

LWJ never makes it to Yunmeng. Because WWX doesn't live there anymore.

He's been rumored to live in the Burial Mounds with the Wen Refugees.

So, naturally, as if drawn there by gravity, LWJ makes his way there.

And decides to stay for dinner.

He is emotional, though he won't show it. WWX's bed is...a big slab of rock. The food must be sparse here. And he knows they are all hunted.

But at dinner, seeing the Wens take care of WWX, he feels comforted, and sad.

Sad that he can't be a part of this. And that their lives have diverged so much.

As the Wens depart from the hall to go to sleep, WWX rises, offering his hand to LWJ. LWJ takes it and stands too.

"Wei Ying."

"Yes, Lan Zhan?"

"That promise we made years ago.

The promise to live life with no regrets. Do you feel like that is how you are living now?"

They walk into the chambers where WWX sleeps. There is a makeshift table with various gadgets on it. There is a ragged blanket on his makeshift bed.

WWX leans agains the bed, sighing.

"I wouldn't have made any other choice, Lan Zhan."

LWJ sets his jaw. He knows this is true. The Wens...love WWX, and he loves them.

LWJ, too, loves WWX.

But he won't say that to him. Or himself.

So he changes the subject. "How will you control your energy?"

WWX frowns, looks annoyed. His hair has grown so long, disheveled. His eyes are tired.

And beautiful.

"Lan Zhan, I can't have this conversation again."

"I need to have it," LWJ insists, stepping closer, his chest puffed out. "I don't know the next time I'll see you is."

WWX sighs, puts Chenqing down, and sits properly on the bed, invites LWJ to do the same. He does.

"Okay, Lan Zhan, let's have the conversation, then. What are you so afraid of?"

"I don't want you to live with burdens," LWJ says. He's prepared this speech in his head.

"I have none."

"If you lose control over the resentful energy, it could swallow you whole. You could do something you regret. I do not want you to regret." LWJ is scowling now, his voice resonant and low.

WWX's eyes melt, hearing this concern.

But he is set. "I have it under control," he says simply.

"That is hubris."

"It is the truth." WWX's brows knit together. "You don't see my daily life. You don't know how much work I put into this. I can control it."

"You can't control everything." LWJ is determined, angry.

"Lan Zhan," WWX laughs once, and reaches out to touch LWJ's face.

LWJ grabs his wrist. "You can't control everything," he says through gritted teeth.

"I promise I will try," WWX says appeasingly, trying to reach out again.

LWJ grabs his wrist tighter,

and this only lights WWX's tired eyes. He lunges forward, pinning LWJ to the bed.

"I said I will try," WWX says, scowling.

LWJ scowls back. "You can't control everything you say you can. There are things you can't know."

WWX gives him a wicked smile.

"Lan Zhan, haven't you heard?" he bends down to whisper in LWJ's ear. "I'm the Yiling Laozu. And there is one thing I can control."

"What?"

"You. Tonight."

LWJ is angry, and tries to get up, but WWX only pins him down more firmly. LWJ relents, peering into his eyes.

"What makes you think I will listen?"

"Aren't you a good boy?"

LWJ shakes his head. "I came here today against the wishes of the world."

"Well," WWX says, "you'll listen to /me/."

He dips his head down to LWJ and begins there, his tongue out and licking.

LWJ shudders. It's been /so long/. He has pleasured himself thinking of WWX. But he didn't think this would happen today.

And now that it is, he is a mess of feeling and desire.

WWX takes his burning ear between his sharp teeth and flicks his tongue across the sensitive skin.

LWJ's back arches. "Take off my clothes."

WWX kisses his earlobe.

"Now."

WWX chuckles and kisses his nose teasingly. "I will. At my own pace."

LWJ closes his eyes, nodding, and WWX returns to LWJ's neck, nibbling and sucking in turns.

"Do you know what they say about me, Hanguang-jun?" he murmurs against the hollow of LWJ's throat.

"What?" LWJ nearly gasps.

He licks the hollow. "That I have sharp teeth that can tear through flesh. You don't think I can control it?"

LWJ is keening, arching his back.

"I'll show you." He grazes his teeth across LWJ's collarbone, and when he gets to the edge of his robes, he bites and pries them apart.

He nearly growls and bends down to the belt at LWJ's waist, undoing it with just his mouth. LWJ watches, his erection growing.

WWX is well aware of the bulge beneath LWJ's robes. He nudges it teasingly with his nose, and then finishes disrobing LWJ with his teeth. LWJ climbs eagerly out of his clothes, ripping off his trousers.

He is now naked on the stone slab that is WWX's bed.

WWX strips too,

rather unceremoniously tossing his robes on the cold floor.

The branding scar on his chest is the only dark thing on his body. He's grown pale over the past few months. When he climbs back on top of LWJ, LWJ's fingers caress the scar, gently.

WWX takes LWJ's hand.

And kisses it, gently. When LWJ's golden eyes meet his, he licks LWJ's fingers one by one, sending jolts of pleasure through the light-bearing lord.

And then he returns to his task. "Flip over," he commands.

LWJ questions with his eyes.

"On your hands and knees."

LWJ obeys, baring himself to WWX in a way he hasn't before. He gets on his hands on knees atop the bed, and WWX crouches over him.

He begins to kiss LWJ's back, slowly at first, tenderly, the lips plush and warm against LWJ's skin.

His arms wrap around LWJ, caressing his pecs

running over the pert nipples, one of his hands sliding upwards, a finger entering LWJ's warm, open, drooling mouth, and the other hand roaming downwards to LWJ's throbbing cock.

"Suck on me," WWX whispers into LWJ's ear, his teeth grazing the lobe.

LWJ's back arches and

he moans. And then he obeys, sucking on WWX's finger as WWX's other hand begins to rub his cock in confusing, bewildering circles.

He can feel WWX's erection pressing against his ass, too, but as soon as he starts thinking of this, WWX's strokes change rhythm.

WWX's mouth is busy as well, planting kisses against the length of LWJ's shoulders and back.

"You want me in you, Hanguang-jun?"

"Ungh."

"What was that?"

LWJ musters enough breath to say, "Yes."

WWX chuckles victoriously, "In due time. First, I will mark your back with me. And then the rest of your body."

LWJ is almost lost in that, his hips bucking, his cock thrusting into WWX's hand. "Ungh," he moans, his mouth slackening. "Wei Ying."

"Yiling Laozu," he corrects.

He places a second finger in LWJ's mouth. LWJ slathers him with his tongue, sucking.

WWX moans, which makes LWJ echo the moan. "Wei Ying."

WWX lets go of LWJ's cock and slaps his ass. "Yiling Laozu."

The slap sends a wave of pleasure through LWJ. He gasps. "Yiling Laozu."

"Good," WWX says, rubbing LWJ's asscheek firmly but gently in praise. "Good boy, Lan Zhan."

The nickname spurs LWJ on. He raises his ass, rubbing it against WWX's girth.

WWX chuckles, adding a third finger to LWJ's mouth. "Oh, eager, huh?"

He strokes LWJ's cock rigorously.

LWJ drops from his hands to his elbows, collapsing in pleasure. WWX bends over him, sucking and biting his back, leaving several marks, feeling the keen mouth of LWJ around his fingers, the sensation sending thrills to his own cock.

"Wei Ying," LWJ begs, "Please."

His ass is rubbing still against WWX's length, and WWX bites his shoulder one last time before saying, "Okay, since you've been good."

He goes over to his table of gadgets and picks up a vial of oil. "Clove oil," he says.

LWJ is incoherent but asks, "For...?"

"For this."

WWX lathers the oil onto his hands, and then says, "Turn back around, Hanguang-jun."

LWJ lies on his back, his cock hard and twitching at the sight of WWX's sleeked hands, flushed chest, red lips.

"The clove oil is for nights when I think of you," WWX says simply,

his hands brought again to LWJ's cock, and his free fingers circling around his hole.

LWJ grips the sides of the stone slab, shuddering. His eyes attempt to stay open, he wants to marvel at this man, this man he doesn't see often. He wants to memorize this. For later.

As if reading his mind, WWX says, his mouth so ripe, "Lan Wangji, I will burn these sensations into your memory. You won't be able to forget the evil Yiling Laozu. You will remember my name, and how I made you feel."

He slips a finger easily into LWJ. "Oh, have you been practicing?"

"Ungh," LWJ moans, his abdomen clenching and unclenching. "Wei Ying, I--"

"Yiling Laozu," WWX corrects, his strokes lighter in punishment.

"Yiling Laozu," LWJ echoes, his thighs trembling.

WWX's own thighs spread out LWJ's legs further so that he can get closer to his task. He strokes LWJ's cock slowly, his one finger in his entrance now two.

"I don't think...I'll last long," LWJ says.

"You'll finish when I tell you to," WWX says. "I control you."

"Mn."

LWJ takes a deep, steadying breath.

"I will play you like a guqin, Lan Wangji," he says. "You'll come only once I have three fingers inside you."

The tenor voice pleasures LWJ's ear. He inches closer to WWX, pressing his ass against his inner thighs, gripping at what he can.

His fingernails dig into the sides of WWX's knees.

"Your ass is trembling," WWX says, marveling, arrogant. Through half-mast lids, LWJ sees he's smirking. "Lan Wangji, once so upright, is now prostrate before me, mine to play with, mine to use."

"Fuck me," LWJ pleads. "More."

WWX's cock twitches at this. He himself is quite close, just watching LWJ writhe with pleasure. But he maintains control. Because he has a point to prove. "I will fuck you how I fuck you. Do you understand?"

"Mn," LWJ moans, loudly. His voice reverberates through the cave.

WWX's fingers inside LWJ are working fast. He has flautist's hands, which LWJ would never, ever doubt afterward. They work deftly, in come-hither motions, hitting his prostate again and again.

LWJ bites his lip to keep from coming.

"I will come first," WWX commands.

"Only after I come can you."

"Yes," LWJ says.

"Yes, who?"

"Yes, Yiling Laozu."

WWX moans, that moniker in LWJ's deep voice hitting something deep inside him too. He is now bucking his hips, his cock thrusting into the air.

He works an easy third finger into LWJ, impressed. "You have been practicing on your own, LWJ. What are the Cloud Recesses like, now that their Hanguang-jun is so corrupted by the devilish Yiling Laozu?"

"Ungh!" LWJ grunts, biting hard on his bottom lip.

"Is it loud?"

LWJ's lips part in pleasure, his moans roaming free, drool escaping.

WWX revels in the sight. He thrusts three fingers in and out of LWJ's entrance, his strokes on LWJ's cock matching pace. LWJ is a mess of sounds and movements, his forearms tensing, his chest flushed.

"Whose rules do you follow, Lan Wangji?" WWX asks.

"Yours," LWJ says, thoughtlessly, his eyelashes fluttering.

"You'll swear allegiance to me?"

"If you fuck me," LWJ says, after mustering the breath.

"Oh, is this not enough?" he says, raising a brow. He curls his fingers.

He hits LWJ's prostate. Again. And. Again.

LWJ's moans crescendo, deep, echoing in WWX's ribcage, and sending vibrations down to his cock. He begins to moan too.

"Fuck," LWJ moans again.

"That's right, Lan Zhan," WWX says, feeling close. "I'm almost there. You'll come when I tell you to."

"Yes," LWJ says, gripping WWX's knees tighter for discipline. "Yes, Laozu."

The words send WWX off the edge, his cock throbbing, emitting that starry fluid across LWJ's chest.

"Now, Lan Zhan!" he moans, shuddering.

LWJ comes on command, writhing, his moans harmonizing with WWX's, his cum mixing with WWX's on the planes of his abdomen.

WWX cleans them up, and then collapses onto LWJ, kissing his face idly, severally.

His cheeks, his forehead ribbon, and finally, his lips. LWJ's fingers are oh-so gentle on WWX's back, caressing and seemingly writing words against his skin.

"What are you writing?" WWX says, returning to Wei Ying, his voice soft and kind.

LWJ's eyes are closed. "A secret."

WWX lets LWJ finish the last stroke against his back, and then he lies against LWJ's shoulder, one knee hitched around his hip.

"Lan Zhan. Do you have any regrets?"

A silence. Then, "Mn."

"I hope this is not one."

"It is not."

LWJ feels something wet against his shoulder. He looks down. WWX is crying. Softly.

"Wei Ying." He wipes WWX's tears. WWX smiles shyly, embarrassed. "What's the matter?"

"I just...I'm sorry I marked you, Lan Zhan."

"It's nothing," he says seriously. "It was...good."

"Good?"

"Very good," LWJ says, with certainty.

"Okay." WWX squeezes LWJ's shoulders in a brief hug. "I suppose I'm afraid that the people I care about will forget me while I'm here. Jiang Cheng, Shijie...You."

"I won't."

WWX settles into a silence.

"Wei Ying..."

WWX looks up, peers into those amber eyes that he finds himself dreaming about on cold nights. "Mm?"

LWJ can't get himself to speak the words. So he says instead, trying out humor, "I'll have something of yours to keep, so I can't forget."

"What?"

LWJ points to his belly button, where some of their cum rests still. WWX laughs.

"I carry you with me," LWJ says.

"Lan Zhan! You've changed!"

LWJ looks at him, confused.

"You're actually funny!" WWX laughs until his sides hurt.

They remember that the Wens are asleep, so they laugh in whispers.

And that's how they drift to sleep--until WWX murmurs, half-conscious, "Lan Zhan, tell me your secret the next time we meet, okay? That way, we'll have to meet."

"....Mn."

They sleep. Soundly. For both of them, the first time in months it's a restful slumber. Even on that cold slab of stone, they sleep.

In the middle of the night, WWX gets up to cover them in the ragged blanket. To LWJ's sleeping face, he whispers, "Thank you, Lan Zhan."

He settles onto LWJ's shoulder and says, closing his eyes, "Can't wait to hear your secret. Can't believe you /have/ secrets." He chuckles. "But I suppose both of us have grown now."

He sleeps, both of them nestled together.

//That's it for tonight! Updates will come Sunday night! I hope you enjoyed.

LWJ eventually tells WWX his secret.

But it is not in Yunmeng. It is not done on the sunny docks at Lotus Pier, bathed in laughter. It is not done in a boat as they pick lotus seeds.

Instead, he tells it to WWX in a cave, hurriedly. After the battle at Nightless City.

He tells it to him desperately, in hushed tones, knowing that they are being hunted.

WWX responds incoherently, shaking his head, half-conscious.

LWJ pours his spiritual energy into him, holding his hand. His face is wet with sweat and--tears.

WWX is fading before his eyes. So he says, shaking WWX by the wrists, "Wei Ying."

At one point in those two days, WWX has a moment of clarity. "Lan Zhan?"

"Wei Ying!" LWJ gets closer, cradles his face.

WWX fades again, so LWJ says, "I'll tell you my secret if you stay awake!"

WWX's head bobs a little and his eyes flutter open. "Lan Zhan." His voice is ash.

LWJ gets close to him, so close, their foreheads touching. He is crying all over WWX's face. And then he whispers his secret.

When he pulls away, WWX smiles a bit, says, "It's cold, Lan Zhan."

LWJ returns to the task of giving WWX his spiritual energy, pleas on his lips.

He has always had an intuitive sense of time, an internal clock, but he has no clue if it's day or night when the 33 cultivators come.

When he fights them off.

When they pry him away from WWX.

He *does* know exactly what time it is when he learns that WWX is dead.

He remembers that time for the rest of his life.

And he remembers the secret he told, thinking WWX has heard it, died knowing it.

Over the span of those thirteen years, LWJ continues to collect secrets. Like WWX once said, he grows. He hides treasures away. He makes secret visits to Yiling, wondering what is there--if anything remains.

And on some nights, after his back begins to heal, he feels phantom pains--of where the whip marks used to be, but also, different phantom aches.

Aches for Wei Wuxian.

Down below.

On those nights, he stays a little past 9 p.m., his hand roaming downwards.

Early on, when his back wounds hurt too much for him to lie prostrate, he lies on his stomach, propped up on his knees, and lets one hand roam down his abdomen and to his erection.

He remembers WWX's mouth, the wetness of his tongue, the curl of his smile.

He remembers how softly WWX would kiss at first, and how that kiss would deepen, WWX sucking on his bottom lip.

He remembers how WWX once had him in this exact position, his cock rubbing against LWJ's entrance.

WWX, moaning loudly in his ear. WWX's beautiful mouth slackened in pleasure, drool running down his chin. WWX, with his taut abdomen and even tauter ass.

LWJ thinks of all of this, thrusting into his hands, his long guqin player's fingers stroking his throbbing self.

And when he comes, he bites onto anything--sometimes a pillow, sometimes his own forearm--to muffle the sounds of his moans. And almost always, that name escapes his mouth.

LWJ has a great memory, but there are days when he has a hard time calling up the image of WWX. The silhouette, the hair, the laughter, the mouth will come to him in bits and pieces, but there are days when he wants to collapse and cry.

1 year becomes 5. 5 become 10.

In most aspects of his life, he feels full. He has hobbies, tasks that give him a sense of purpose. He has Sizhui's education to look after. He loves teaching.

But in this one aspect, this one that seems to rise at night, he allows himself the time to think of WWX.

So when 10 years become 13, he has his routine down.

And then--who should come back but WWX. Looking different now, but animated in the same way, talking like he has always talked, laughing as he's often laughed.

It is his soul that LWJ has missed.

And after Guanyin Temple, after apprehending the culprit, after parting ways with A-Yuan and Wen Ning on that small road, after touching each other, they lie in the grass.

WWX strokes LWJ's hair, a smile of contentment on his face. "Lan Zhan, I missed this."

"Mn," LWJ says, agreeing, his heart warm and aching at the same time. "If only you knew."

WWX squeezes him, knowing his implication. "I am glad we did it long ago. I thought you wanted to help me only, because...we were going through so much back then. *I* was not stable."

LWJ raises his head and shakes it. He peers straight into WWX's eyes. "No. I wanted to."

WWX strokes his cheek. "Good. Me too."

LWJ lies back down, nuzzling into WWX's neck. WWX's fingers roam down to trace LWJ's scars. "I'm sorry for these."

He sits up, serious now, and LWJ follows suit, questions in his amber eyes.

"Lan Zhan, I know we don't apologize to each other, but. One last one. I'm sorry for those scars."

LWJ shakes his head again. "Don't be."

WWX knows there's no fighting him on this.

So instead, he moves around behind LWJ and moves his long, elegant hair out of the way. He kisses LWJ's shoulders, and says, "Then I'll give each scar a new memory."

He kisses each one. 33 kisses.

And then moves to LWJ's mouth for a 34th.

Months later, they find themselves in Yunmeng. They are simply passing through for a conference, and then it's back to Gusu for a lecture series.

They sit on the docks and watch the boats float by.

Bathed in sunlight, WWX asks, "Lan Zhan, what was your secret?"

"Hm?"

"The secret you traced on my back in the Burial Mounds. Years ago."

"Oh." LWJ is slightly embarrassed. "I told it to you before."

"When?"

It's not a happy memory. His frown says it all, and WWX frowns, and squeezes his husband's hand. "I don't remember any of that night."

"I know." LWJ gives him a small smile, one that only a few ever receive. It's one of quiet affection. "It's not a secret anymore. I hope not, at least."

"Eh?" WWX cocks an eyebrow. He lays one leg atop LWJ's, which dangle off the side of the dock.

LWJ comes close.

"You are my talisman, too," he says. "And I love you."

WWX's smile spreads from ear to ear, his nose scrunches, "Lan Zhan!" He hides his face, flinging arms around his husband. "After a year of marriage, you're still so powerful!"

LWJ laughs quietly against his neck.

When he pulls away, he looks at WWX's face, bathed in Yunmeng sunlight, his spiritual energy much stronger than before. Birds sing in the distance, and WWX hums happily.

LWJ leans in to give him a gentle kiss on the cheek. "In return for the kiss you gave me at Phoenix Mountain," he explains.

"You kept your promise," WWX says, resting his cheek on LWJ's shoulder, their bodies fulfilling promises made long ago, and making new memories.

//The end! Thank you for following and being here for tenderhornee! If there's interest, I'll adapt this into a fuller ao3 fic.

Start from the top! https://twitter.com/flowerofgusu/status/1318434871476326400?s=20

And if you want and can, support this tired grad student with a LOT of Wangxian WIPs coming your way! https://ko-fi.com/flowerofgusu