Time for a thread. I want to talk about a particular strategy people often use for recognition when their identity is doubted by society at a large. Catastrophizing.

So...for a long time I didn't think I had ADHD. Why? Because of the ADHD advotates on this here Bird App.

I would see over and over tweet threads that went something like this: "ADHD is real! It's very serious! It isn't just having a hard time concentrating. ADHD is about feeling like your skin's on fire any time you put on a shirt! It's about being unable function at all! It's bad!"

"If you claim to have ADHD but you are not in the worst state ever, then you are a faker who is contributing to people not taking ADHD seriously--making it worse for those of us with actual, serious ADHD!" I asked a friend..."Hey I think I might have ADHD...what do you think?"

The response: "You can't have ADHD because you are too functional." So looking at the catastrophic way ADHD was described made me think..."Oh...I suppose I must not have ADHD then." But here's the thing. I do. It took me much longer to go to a doctor about it, though.

All because people who were worried about the way society minimized ADHD, maximalized ADHD so much that I couldn't see myself in the way they described it. I could have been diagnosed years earlier had it not been for maximalizing. I'm sure I'm not the only one!

So, thinking about this, the way ADHD is framed as exclusively catastrophic in the hopes people would take it more seriously, see it as more real, and maybe generate empathy to lessen discrimination...reminds me of how some trans people frame transness.

Being trans (transgender, transexual, genderqueer, nonbinary, agender, etc) is also a situation that bunches of people don't think is real. That some people minimize, demonize, and oppress. And I have noticed that similarly some people catastrophize in reaction.

So I have gender dysphoria (though I don't experience my dysphoria as about gender but about sexed embodiment). Yet, I feel uncomfortable with trans narratives that go like this: "Being trans is totally real! It is very serious. It isn't just a fad or something minor. It's real!"

"Being trans is about crippling dysphoria where you hate your body completely and also you are 100% born that way and always knew you were trans from the time you were 3 years old and it is so bad that trans people will commit suicide if they don't get treatment. It's bad!"

"It is also totally genetic!" And you know what? That makes a lot of questioning trans people whose experience isn't as catastrophic think, "Oh....I suppose I can't be trans then?" But you can be trans without conforming to catastrophic narratives.

Some people's experience of transness is pretty catastrophic. And that experience *is* their experience. But it isn't the only valid trans experience. But people are afraid that if they allow for nuance and messiness in trans narratives then transphobes will use that against us.

They read TERF screeds invalidating trans existence by saying that trans people are just confused, they just choose to be trans and could choose not to be. In reaction some folks say, that trans people are never confused, they always know, and they never choose...it is innate.

This makes it really hard for trans people who don't want to medically transition, or who have a process that involves some confusion or coming to know themselves later in life, or people who choose trans identity as a form of radical opposition to society in a performative way.

It makes it hard for any trans person who doesn't fit into the maximalist, catastrophic narrative. And that trans person may put off their transition process for years because they don't feel like they count. And they may suffer feeling like they don't count.

And it reminds me of some of the way people talked about gayness a bit more back in the day. Maybe some of you remember it? It was all a bunch of catastrophic maximalism. Homophobes would say that being gay was a choice...and a bad choice...and people should not choose it.

And the response, "Being gay isn't a choice! I was born this way! I mean, why would anyone choose to be gay?! Being gay is so awful and terrible and it's all being murdered and so shameful and so bad...that *no one* would ever choose this. We're forced by our genetics to be gay!"

In the context of gayness, I feel like people see that this catastrophic maximalizing is probably counter-productive...and maybe not so great? I mean, I'm sure some people feel that way about their gayness...but framing all gayness as the most tragic thing ever? Meh.

I mean...maybe that will move *some* homophobes to become sympathetic in a "poor tragic gay people who are forced to live a life of misery...if only we could cure them of this terrible affliction! We should pity them and be nicer" sort of way. Maybe. But...long term? Meh.

Cuz here's the thing: Being religious is a choice and people respect that. A thing doesn't have to be genetic to be meaningful. A thing doesn't have to be catastrophic to be worthy of respect. A person can just choose to be gay if they want. More power to them.

I think it would be useful to be more thoughtful about the effect of the catastrophizing as a strategy for recognition. It tells a bunch of people who don't experience themselves through catastrophe they don't count. It tells people that don't like us our state is one of misery.

And if you tell people that our state is misery and we'd not be who we are if we had a choice...that...might get us pity...but I don't think it will get us respect. And what happens if they find the gay gene or whatever? That way lies conversion therapy and eugenics.

Anyway, hey person! If you suspect you may have ADHD but have looked at catastrophic tweets that are telling you that you don't suffer enough to have ADHD...don't listen to twitter, go talk to a doctor. You may not have it bad as the Tweeters, but you don't have to for ADHD.