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بسم الله I hope this benefits someone.
Some red flags to look for in a “potential” for marriage
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Forgive me if I come across as harsh.
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🧵" title="Thread" aria-label="Emoji: Thread"> https://twitter.com/iisumayahxo/status/1318166621891026944">https://twitter.com/iisumayah...
Some red flags to look for in a “potential” for marriage
Forgive me if I come across as harsh.
Question:
Why do such people approach you who have no pure intentions?
The simple and most common answer is that they want a means to fuel their ego & fulfil their desires. Sometimes they often have a low esteem, which is increased by the opposite gender’s attention.
Why do such people approach you who have no pure intentions?
The simple and most common answer is that they want a means to fuel their ego & fulfil their desires. Sometimes they often have a low esteem, which is increased by the opposite gender’s attention.
Disclaimer: this thread is more for my sisters but it may apply for some brothers. It happens more commonly with sisters unfortunately .
1) They approach you ( either irl or via dm) in an immature, flirtatious manner. Seriously, this is so cringey. How can you even want to consider such a person who won’t even take you seriously and respect themselves . They don’t even care about presenting themselves...
properly to you. They seem childish & immature. A mature man will be direct, respectful and to the point, communicating his interests in marriage & wanting to speak to/ meet your father ASAP.
Look for this, look for whether he mentions speaking to your mahram.
Look for this, look for whether he mentions speaking to your mahram.
2) if he hasn’t first mentioned speaking to your father, you mention it to him and he becomes uncomfortable & quick to make excuses like “it’s too soon.” Or “I want to get to know you alone properly first.” https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚩" title="Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten" aria-label="Emoji: Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚩" title="Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten" aria-label="Emoji: Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚩" title="Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten" aria-label="Emoji: Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🚩" title="Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten" aria-label="Emoji: Dreieckige Fahne an einem Pfosten">He just wants to waste your time!! he has no respect for you
AT THIS POINT U CUT THEM OFF!!!!!!! If they’re not willing to talk to your father or a mahram (HOW ITS ISLAMICALLY SUPPOSED TO BE) YOU CUT THEM. They are not serious at all.
Your time is too valuable to just spend on anyone. Such a man is not worth your time.
3) All talk and no action i.e. a pathetic coward of a man.
They tell you sweet words, expressing their “love” but when you mention getting family involved all you receive is excuses. Such a man should be embarrassed of himself. Such a man has not honoured you.
They tell you sweet words, expressing their “love” but when you mention getting family involved all you receive is excuses. Such a man should be embarrassed of himself. Such a man has not honoured you.
4) They’re too controlling.
It’s okay to express to your potential what you look for in a husband/ wife, but it’s different when he is controlling over you while he has no right. He’s not yet your husband, he has no right over you. Who is he to tell you what to do/ not do...
It’s okay to express to your potential what you look for in a husband/ wife, but it’s different when he is controlling over you while he has no right. He’s not yet your husband, he has no right over you. Who is he to tell you what to do/ not do...
And you see this as his “love” but it’s not.
He becomes angry when you’ve done smth he disagrees with.....again... he has no right over you... who does he think he is?
He acts like your husband but won’t take the means to become ur husband... this is a cowardhttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👍🏼" title="Thumbs up (mittelheller Hautton)" aria-label="Emoji: Thumbs up (mittelheller Hautton)">
He becomes angry when you’ve done smth he disagrees with.....again... he has no right over you... who does he think he is?
He acts like your husband but won’t take the means to become ur husband... this is a coward
5) They get too personal & comfortable.
Before you know it there’s not an hour you haven’t spoken... phone calls often ... all in the name of “getting to know eachother”.
And w/ out realising it you enter a haraam relationship.
Before you know it there’s not an hour you haven’t spoken... phone calls often ... all in the name of “getting to know eachother”.
And w/ out realising it you enter a haraam relationship.
Honour yourselves my brothers and sisters. The command of Allāh and His messenger ﷺ are not without wisdom. They are there to protect us. This issue of haraam relationships has become so normalised. Before you know it you’ve given so much of your time and heart to someone..
Who has no respect for you. Who had not honoured your heart. Who has not wanted to make you theirs ASAP for His sake. All you’re left with is regret and guilt. No one is worth disobeying Allāh for.
They claim to love you, this can only be proved when that contract is signed.
They claim to love you, this can only be proved when that contract is signed.
Please honour and respect yourselves. May Allah protect every single one of you. Remember, prevention is better than cure. It is down to YOU whether your time is wasted. These are just some red flags, but there are many more. Feel free to share if you like.
