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Please take some time out of your undoubtedly very busy day and let me tell you about the utter, utter, insanity and sheer mind-numbing stupidity that cancelling my @dutweets home services package has turned into. I promise you much entertainment. 1/
First port of call? The @dutweets shop at Al Barsha Mall. Chap at the door asks what I& #39;ve come for. I say, cancelling my home services package. He gives me a ticket. I wait. I get called to a counter. The lady tells me, it& #39;s not possible to cancel DU services in 2/
the Du shops, it can only be done online or by phone. Okay, but why not give me this info, before giving me a queue ticket? Anyhows, I go home and call the DU cancellation team. Much button pressing ensues. No @dutweets persons answers for a loooooooooing time. 3/
Finally, an agent answers and take down my request. He says I& #39;ll get an email when it& #39;s done. Great. I hang up, email arrives, all good. A few hours later, another email arrives telling me that the request is rejected, because I haven& #39;t paid the cancellation charges. 4/
Right. What kind of company still charges full cancellation charges in the current situation? @dutweets does, because they don& #39;t give a monkey whether you& #39;ve lost your job, haven& #39;t been paid, or (probably) have died. They want the money. No problem, I& #39;m not going to waste time 5/
arguing. I transfer the money. I get an SMS saying the money has been received and the service will be cancelled. Then I get another SMS saying they payment was not received due to "technical issues" and - get this! - to go to a @dutweets shop to sort it out. 6/
So, I go to the @dutweets shop in Ibn Battuta Mall, which is where things got really hilarious. No one in the shop can assist with this. Instead, I& #39;m told they have to request a video call with the @dutweets billing department and could I wait a few minutes. OK. I wait. 7/
Eventually, I& #39;m asked to step behind the desk of one of the @dutweets agents in their Ibn Battuta shop, while he is serving another customer. No social distancing here, hey! We& #39;re shoulder to shoulder while I look into his screen and talk to this chap from the DU billing 8/
department. That& #39;s right. I& #39;m standing in a @dutweets shop, rubbing shoulders with a DU customer service agent while talking to a @dutweets agent in a video call. The result? I overpaid and they owe me AED 833. How do I get it back? I have to email the billing department and 9/
request a refund. Correct, the same people Im just speaking to. The chap& #39;s nice enough to show me the email address on the video call screen. No, he can& #39;t email me. No, he can& #39;t send it by SMS. Those channels are only for @dutweets sales spam. Instead, he suggests I& #39;ll take 10/
a picture of the screen with my phone. I point out the utter stupidity of all this to him, but he says he cannot change @dutweets company policy. He looks tired. He sounds tired. He probably gets this 5,000 times every day. I don& #39;t blame him. It& #39;s not him. It& #39;s not me. 11/
It& #39;s you, @dutweets. You& #39;re all that& #39;s bad about telecom providers. You are the reason people cry tears laughing when the word "Digital" and "UAE" are mentioned together. I have no words left to describe what an absolutely, complete and utter shambles and pure 12/
hellish fuckwittery your procedures are. What totally unhinged piece of telecommunications wankstain dictates that this is how your customers should be treated? The earth, nay, the universe, would be a better place, if @dutweets wouldn& #39;t exist. Alright. Now give me my money 13/
