Mafia players as tennis players. A thread:
Louis - Serena Williams

The GOAT. Dominated multiple generations on all surfaces / factions. Did it in a white man / Arsenal fan world.
Jamie -Rod Laver

For many, still the GOAT. Dominated the pre and early Open Era / themed games. Has a calendar slam / season MVP. His detractors say his game wouldn’t work in the modern era. Does it even matter?
PM - Roger Federer

A dominant collector of MVP points / slams in his prime. An artist at his best. His spreadsheet / forehand is a contender for the best ever. Now he’s seeing his rivals catch up with his achievements. Not played much this season due to knee surgery.
Sam - Rafael Nadal

The single faction / surface GOAT. Overcame suspension / knee injuries to remain a force. Playing at a better level than some of his previous rivals these days. Could finish as the greatest. PM and Jamie fans will never accept it though.
Holz - Novak Djokovic

Wasn’t afraid to try and break up the pre-established hierarchy and had the ability to back it up. The complete player who has dominated all factions / surfaces. Some people resent his success but true mafia fans know he’s one of the greatest.
IBRZ - Stan Wawrinka

A late bloomer. MVP / slam count slightly inflates his career. Inconsistencies have let him down. Has unsettled peak Holz / Djokovic but Sam and PM have rarely been troubled by him. Best behaviour test / single handed backhand in the business.
Harry - Andy Murray

An all time great. His MVP / slam count underrates him. Super consistent in his prime. A perennial runner up to all time greats. Not made much of an impact as a player recently. Become more well known for modding / feminist sound bites.
Cian - Alexander Zverev

People thought he was ready to take over when he showed lots of promise early in season 2. Hasn’t yet had the signature game / tournament to make it happen. Now some consider the likes off Matt and Grill to be bigger prospects.
Dan - Daniil Medvedev

Had been around a while without making any impression but had a breakout with a legendary game / run. Is considered a serious player / contender now. Has had problematic Munich tweets / race comments that everyone ignores because they like him.
Taylor - Robin Söderling

The people’s champion. Has one legendary MVP / result. Controversial personality in his prime who wasn’t afraid to cause a stir. Disappeared off the face of the earth when he should’ve been entering his prime.
Moe - Marcus Willis

Basically an amateur player who was part of the most famous ever mafia win / Cinderella story in tennis. No one ever expects to see him on the timeline / court ever again.
Dec - David Ferrer

The GOAT trier. His attitude is unparalleled. Will still be on the timeline demanding night orders in his late 30s. Never managed to really threaten the elite players but he has the respect of his peers.
Frank - Dustin Brown

Is he good? Is he even ‘talented’? No one really knows they just assume he is. He’s too committed to his brand to show us what he’d be like if he tried. The GOAT entertainer, but the act would be tiring if everyone did it.
Mowlid - Alona Ostapenko

Had an incredible early performance that suggested they could be a legendary player but it hasn’t quite worked out. Still capable of elite performances on their day but often die / go out early too. Probably too aggressive in style for their own good.
Z - Naomi Osaka

The best ever Asian player. One of the most accomplished ‘newcomers’ when they arrived. Has potential to become a legendary player if they put their mind to it.
Osaid - Benoit Paire

Another just vibes player. His beard is better than his game. Organisation / forehand is rubbish. Has some skills but the overall package is mediocre.
Tom - Ivo Karlovic

The oldest player in the community / tour. He was playing when your parents were young. Seen it all. Record holder for days spent alive / aces hit.
Anton and SOW - The Bryan Brothers

3p / doubles specialists. Both look like and have names that could come from the same Swedish family. Not made massive impacts as town-mafia / singles players, but are legends of the game anyway.
Oliver - Milos Raonic

Not the flashiest but gets the job done. People are always talking about the new faces but he usually ends up outperforming them all. Has had some absences but always comes back strong. Might’ve won an MVP / slam in another era.
Ben - Fabio Fognini

Mercurial talent. Mafia / clay specialist. Mainly exists just to get under Harry / Andy Murray’s skin.
Poscar - Dominic Thiem

Beginning to build a world class CV. Been around longer than the season 2 newcomers but feels a lot newer than most of the big names. Recently won his first MVP / Slam.
Grill - Iga Swiatek

Just had a flawless game / tournament. Was previously only known through their association with Harry Cairns. Only time will tell if they’re a long term contender or a one week wonder.
Khalil - Marcos Baghdatis

One of the best the game had to offer when PM / Federer was dominating. Only recently retired but hadn’t been seen since 2007 anyway.
Bradley - Nick Kyrgios

Could be very good but he’s lazy and doesn’t take the game seriously. Loses his temper with players and the mod / umpire. Currently not playing. Pretends it’s for a reason but he’s just bored.
Freddie - Bernard Tomic

Only player to be mod killed for posting screenshots of his DMs / fined all his Wimbledon prize money for not trying. Hates the game. Played just because SOW / his dad made him. Could still comeback again.
Mafuzzy - Roberto Bautista-Agut

Used to be big on FT / a prospect in the Villarreal academy. Now focusing on mafia / tennis full time. Not exactly young but at his peak as a player. Had to cancel his bachelor party when he got to the last 4 of LOTR / 2019 Wimbledon.
Sean - Mardy Fish

Late bloomed into a quality player. Great guy. Took a break / retired for mental health reasons. Everyone wishes him well.
Matt - Jannik Sinner

Newest kid on the block. Could be a future great but it’s way too early to tell.
Abdul - Jack Sock

Came from nowhere to have a couple of relevant games / tournaments then promptly disappeared again.
Haz - Hsieh Su-wei

One of the most unorthodox players in the game. Lacks some traditional weapons but makes up for it with unpredictability. Has flummoxed many top players who aren’t able to get to grips with them.
Junior - David Goffin

Most iconic moment came as the muffin man / nicknamed the muffin. Talented player but perception is he can crumble under pressure.
Lee, Gulam, Kiwie and Will - Marko Djokovic and Mari Osaka

Not really good enough to play the top level games / tournaments, but often get given opportunities because of nepotism. Rarely has it led to anything worthwhile.
Mafoo - Gerard Pique

Not a player or even a man with formal power in the mafia / tennis community, but still influences it via one of his enterprises. Administrators and traditionalists both hate his involvement, but he’s bigger than the game / sport itself.

End of thread.
You can follow @OscarMafiaStuff.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: