Doing petplay in the supermarket is rude and embarrassing and juvenile but I think I'm done talking about the "consent" aspect of it in a way that implies being grossed out by witnessing something that doesn't involve you is in any way analogous to sexual assault

"The general public has the right to withhold consent to witnessing unconventional sexuality" is a principle that has not served us well historically.

Again, I don't APPROVE, I just think that's a very dangerous principle to base your disapproval on.

Using the presence of supermarket shoppers to enhance your scene is selfish and inconsiderate and very questionable with regards to health codes. It is not, however, a violation of their autonomy, because no one's autonomy runs as far as controlling everything they see in public.

A further question this is raising, which I'm less sure about, is that it is violating to have someone communicate "I'm getting off thinking about you" when it's unwanted, and that's what exhibitionists' presence implies to viewers.

I still feel like there's an important difference between someone saying that to you individually vs. to a crowd where no one person is a target, though.

Like, at no point do I want to make the case that any of this is cool or okay, I just want to work out how it's not-okay in a manner that doesn't also apply to "I think that crossdresser [sic] is getting off on this" or "I didn't consent to see two men kissing!"