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Omg the couple on the table near me are on a first hinge date and he just said to her ..
'you know you look like somebody I used to date'
NO BRO NO!!
'you know you look like somebody I used to date'
NO BRO NO!!
He's guessing her age this will not end well
His mom is into astrology so he's guessing her sign and is highly confident he already knows her. So far he's had four guesses and all wrong
She's talking about herself and he interrupts: 'Can I just ask you something? Just so we can get there faster.'
Reading my book has now gone out of the window this is way more entertaining
COVID IS OFF THE TABLE . He's decided : no covid chat.
But.. he wants to 'quickly say something and then move on'
But.. he wants to 'quickly say something and then move on'
Oh they're bonding over their hatred of Parisians so I guess that's something
Oh they both love Nashville and Austin guys maybe this is salvageable
I think I'm girl crushing on her. She doesn't want kids + solo travels and just said : 'you would have to want kids more than anything else because you're giving up everything to have them'
I stan
I stan
Oop he's had covid everyone and so is telling her she's totally safe because he can't possibly have it again
I may have to order another glass of wine to see how this ends
He's eating a very sloppy burger and even I'm looking away
He says she should go into modelling because she still has her looks
Had to move to a table with a heater bc sometimes it does get chilly in LA but dw I picked a table where I could still hear
Also ordered fries for sustenance
She's been doing hair for 20 years wants to start her own business. He's advising. He's just said 'whatever road you go down I'll do something for you'
He's gonna direct her in a photoshoot everyone.
She is, in his words, 'the epitome of business'
She is, in his words, 'the epitome of business'
SHES GONE TO THE LOO WILL SHE RETURN
A quick glance confirms she has NOT left any belongings at the table
He's taking the chance to loudly blow his nose into a fabric napkin
She best come back I just ordered fries and another glass of wine
SHE BACK.
he says 'ahhhh' as if even he is relieved of her return
he says 'ahhhh' as if even he is relieved of her return
He just asked these questions :
So why aren't you married ?
Do you hate men? Because a lot of women hate men.
Are you fussy?
So why aren't you married ?
Do you hate men? Because a lot of women hate men.
Are you fussy?
Man nearby on another date is laughing loudly so now I can't hear . SHUT UP
Oop here we go. He's getting out dog pictures.
His dog is a sensitive motherfucker.
Not surprised tbh
Not surprised tbh
Ok she loves his dog. Maybe there's still hope ?
Good news : man with loud laugh is leaving so I have clear airwaves from now on
Good news : man with loud laugh is leaving so I have clear airwaves from now on
Oh his dog is a rescue my cold heart is thawing
Ok they're swapping dog stories. She has a dog too, who's recently been depressed, but he says his dog would never get along with another so HOW WILL THIS EVER WORK
Their dogs names are Jag and Brady everyone think that's a match made in heaven
Woah he does not drink caffeine.
Oh he's used to 'pushing weights' and that's why he's not sleeping well.
They're bonding over not being able to go to the gym
Oh he's used to 'pushing weights' and that's why he's not sleeping well.
They're bonding over not being able to go to the gym
Her body language has changed ! No more knee up and foot on chair now she's waay more relaxed maybe she's warming to him? 
He just said he used to be a personal trainer and now I'm subtly squinting to see if I can see muscles thru his denim shirt (I have terrible eyesight so it's definitely not subtle )
The waiter has just asked if I want another glass of wine. I've had two. This place is not cheap! I confessed I'm eavesdropping on the date and she's like, I think you should have another 
Honestly I feel I could just go sit at their table and I'd could totally join in the convo without skipping a beat
THE BILL / CHECK HATH COMETH
Her legs back up on the chair, knee up and arms crossed in her lap. He's leaning forward, giggling
I've completely abandoned my book. It's actually a great book. Side plug :
They just abruptly left ! WHAT
She said, apropos of NOTHING: I've got to go I'm walking home I live like a block away
He said, scrabbling for his keys: I've got to go check on my dog
And that's it. That's the thread.
