[kicks in the door] EXCUSE ME https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2020/11/squash-lacrosse-niche-sports-ivy-league-admissions/616474/?fbclid=IwAR0b1Yh9JOCAS0pgvMJ9Kq8kmqPH2svJfNaObmN25SxDHN5peBJ_cFlvGgM

NOT IF I WRITE MY LITERARY NOVEL FIRST

I am screaming about this because an article very similar to this one was a modest plot point in Curtis Sittenfeld modern retelling of Pride and Prejudice.

SCREAM

God, I love rich people stuff. A crew consultancy. Hnnng.

OH NO, NOT GEORGETOWN!!!!

NOT FENCING

The stuff of Chekhovian drama.

God forbid—Columbia!

I bet this woman is a registered Democrat.

WHITE PEOPLE ARE ENGINEERING UNIVERSITIES TO MAINTAIN STATUS

I bet it’s UVA or Duke.

Kafka could never

I—

Wait, those weren't...the extras?

GOD, I LOVE RICH PEOPLE NONSENSE.

THIS IS A WHOLE NOVEL

Rich White Children living Dickensian nightmares for the sake of their parents' ambitions is WILD

I am going to put away all of my current projects in progress and follow my true calling, which is writing Dickensian novels with a Rachel Cusk font about Rich White Nonsense.

WOWEE ZOWEE

Jesus Christ, the ending of this article is fucking BLEAK. READ IT.

Rich White people doing so much social engineering that they end up destroying their families and all that they hold dear despite there existing many movies, novels, plays and other such art about the dangers of just such a thing is so...like...I just. LOL

Art: Do not become a slave to ambition because it will ruin your children.

Rich People: So powerful.

Rich People: Get back to the squash court right fucking now, Cheston, I'm not joking. That little jerk Griffin just got into into Yale, and I'll be damned if you go to Brown.

"You keep this up and you're going to have to go to UConn. Is that what you want? While all your cousins are in Boston? THEN TIGHTEN UP."

"Do you want to drink water right now or do you want to go to Harvard?"

Wowweeeee. This was...incredible. What a journey.