Had a big realization with the help of my therapist on Friday. Asian family's tend to hold their children to high standards in life like prioritizing what the future will look like in terms of financial stability.

TLDR; they often project guilt and anxiety as standards (1/ 6)

I won't go too in depth here since there's a lot to unpack with why that's such a value, but tldr; diasporic and generational trauma from living in places with economic instability or uncertainty. (2/6)

Anywho, I was thinking about some of the stereotypical pressures that a first born eldest son has in a family. For me, it's making sure I buy a house and take care of my younger siblings, parent, and grandparents. And it's fucking scary. (3/6)

I think a lot about what that means for my future. And I feel guilty when I make decisions for myself. I've always had struggles justifying spending on things for me if they are non-essential. And it wasn't until my therapist asked me to sit on a specific possibility. (4/6)

That maybe, the struggles of immigration and survival in a new country has led to family member's feeling some sense of failure or guilt around generational wealth. And that these standards imposed on me are their guilt and vicarious living projected on me. (5/6)

For everyone struggling with this, I know many do, I hope you find peace and acceptance in knowing that it doesn't mean you shouldn't treat yourself with the same compassion & generosity that you show your fam. Yall are worth it and it is a huge burden for any individual. (6/6).