As a binary trans man who could frankly really use some kind of positive male community, I'll also say that in general when I see binary trans men looking for spaces to talk about "our specific experiences" they are SO OFTEN just looking for space to be sexist.

This isn't to shit on other trans men and like OBVIOUSLY not all trans men pull this stuff. But like I was very excited to get added to a group for trans dads, for example, only to find that the guy who created it 100% just wanted a space to bitch about his wife.

I also think it's VERY easy for those of us trans men with intense physical dysphoria to mis-apply that to others and lapse into a weird kind of gender essentialism.

To be UNCOMFORTABLY real for a minute, some of us understand ourselves to be men AND ALSO have bottom dysphoria. And it's hard to talk about because FOR THE MOST PART it just isn't appropriate to get really specific about dicks in most spaces, right?

But when we conflate our dick feelings (lol) with our manhood we do a huge disservice to... literally everyone. And then the spaces for trans men where we might BE ABLE TO TALK ABOUT IT turn into spaces where everyone assumes everyone else has the same dick feelings (they do not)

Ironically the only spaces in which I have ever seen productive conversations about bottom dysphoria (coping mechanisms, kindness, affirmations both of that it is difficult AND that our bodies are not broken) have been spaces with LOTS of nonbinary people.

But in explicitly trans male spaces? IN MY EXPERIENCE it has been "yeah bro we all deal with it obviously, here's a packer recommendation" often combined with a lot of misogyny and it's so uncomfortable to me, a soft delicate femme-y little hobbit who is also a dude.

This thread is getting a lot of the same kind of responses so I will say this again: I don't want anyone to think that the MAJORITY of trans men are misogynists, I don't think that's true. I think the misogynists are the loudest and take up the most space in a lot of spaces.

I guess MY POINT (if it's not just talking about dicks) is that our spaces are better with nonbinary people in them, both because they often bring greater nuance to certain issues AND because they sometimes manage to shut up the shitty dudes.